Season 1, Episode 6, Part 5: "High Spirits"

David interviews: "I don't see it as letting people down." OK, but usually the ones being let down are the judges of what is deception and what isn't. Besides, his agitated voice and red face imply that he's not being entirely honest here. Methinks the David doth protest too much. "If this is a family, maybe it's time to cut the apron strings, let them stand on their own two feet." Well, you showed them it's NOT a family, and even if it were, you'd be outside of the pie, so shut up. "Because you can be sure if they were in my position they would take the job and go: yeah, thanks. We're off. You know, thanks for the opportunity - and the GREAT jokes - but, you know, this. Is. A business. Alright?" Hee, the great jokes. Never forgets to mention his humor. Also note that in this fictional example, the staff is in David's position, so they're the leader, yet they're thanking him for "the opportunity" and the jokes. What opportunity has he, as their employee, given them? I'd also like to point out that this speech is pretty much the opposite of what he said at the end of episode 1, where he talke about the staff being more important than the business etc. Nice touch.

"I'm not doing this for an Esther Rantzen heart of gold or..." No, you don't want to be popular at all. Even if all the employees hated you, you wouldn't care, because you're all about business. "You know, if Esther's handing out awards, then... do it for my charity work!" As if Esther was just pushing that award in his hands there. "Five fund runs in two years," says David. "You know. Why don't you ask Philippa Norris or Simon Coleman at Mencap what they think of David Brent!" They'd probably reply that they don't know him, he's just one of the many contributors. And if you give to charity, yet betray the people at work... Doesn't speak all that highly of you as a person. In a rare action sequence, David suddenly jumps off his chair and comes back up again with a huge charity cheque for Mencap. Hee, he keeps that in his office? I think he's probably had it there before, only waiting for a chance to show it to the camera. It says, "Three Hundred & Four Pounds ONLY". Hee! Why does it say ONLY? I don't know much about charity cheques, so maybe the sentence continues offscreen, but that looks more like "That's all you're giving?" Also, I thought charity runs meant that you run, while someone else pays? Not to belittle anyone who did that, but if David wants to be known for his "charity work", I think he might wanna take a more active role. I think he's just one of these "I DID CHARITY!!!" people who will never let you forget they gave 20 bucks once to a collection box. David looks at the camera from behind the cheque so that his nose is hanging over it. He looks like a cute little troll that way.

The office party, back at the same bar they had the quiz. "Spirit in the Sky" plays and the DJ is none other than Keith! "It's the end of the financial year and spirits are in the sky," he says with his brilliant mono-tone. He's just standing there looking at the record. I can't think of a person less fitting for DJ'ing. The party is looking pretty dull. No one's dancing, everyone looks completely down, and the upbeat music seems to mock their sadness. But really, this song is about the afterlife, so maybe Keith picked it thinking of life after work. Nah, that's a bit too profound for him.

At a table, Gareth is drinking and telling Tim bitterly that it's easy for him because he was leaving anyway, but he should think of how badly Gareth has it: "The shit could be on the other foot." Eww! Tim says Gareth's going to be fine. Gareth says: "Well, yeah, I work hard, I earn my keep. Unfortunately, the history books are full of just people who... toil and... fight for worthy causes and the freedom of others and..." He's pretty drunk, and I don't think he knows what he's saying or where he's going with it. Because - what has he ever done for the freedom of others? He only fights for his stapler's right to not be put in jell-o. "That's the most profound thing you ever said," says Tim. Gareth ruins his own point by adding: "And with all that, it's only for foreigners or women or disableds to take advantage of." Tim says: "Can I withdraw my last comment?" Hee!

Gareth spots a cute girl with rasta braids, but Tim and Ricky both think she's out of his league. Gareth takes this opportunity to get drunkenly mad at Ricky: "No, smug! You're so.. just cos you got a bit of Donna, cos I played by the rules cos she was out of bounds!" Right, you asked David if she's legal and if he'd fire the person who did her. You respected Donna. That's why you didn't do her. To show how much he really respected her, he uses two misogynistic and gross phrases: "that'd be like shitting on your own doorstep" and "I don't do sloppy seconds." He's every girl's dream, how could Donna not see that? Tim butts in with one of his smart, women-respecting comments: "You see, it's phrases like sloppy seconds which make her out of your league!" That is probably the most woman-friendly way of defining "out of your league" I've ever heard. Way to go, Tim. Also note that Tim never gets so drunk he's totally out of control, like Gareth or David.

Lame, cheap-looking disco lights change shapes and colors as Keith plays another poorly chosen track: "Walking on Sunshine". In walks David Brent, grinning widely, mock-punching a few balloons. The balloons just emphasize how silly the whole party seems when everyone's sad. David waves hi to Angela, who doesn't smile at him, and Joan, who just looks at him sadly. Gareth's puppy eyes follow him as he walks up on stage and whispers something to Keith, who turns off the music. David grabs a microphone and starts talking in his best desperate-to-entertain tone. He welcomes everyone and says the raffle "is gonna start... later", as he checks his watch. Hee! "You can win a printer! Something I'd bloody love." The microphone makes a whining sound and people watch with quiet sadness as David babbles: "Although if I win it I'd probably just give the ticket back or give it to charity... but that's.. .No pressure, that's..." Why play at all if you're not planning on keeping the prize? I bet he thought people assumed he would rig the results so he gets the printer, or something. Way to undo your original point there.

"Good luck to Ricky who's pursuing his new career, starting Monday. Got a collection or a gift or something?" David says and looks around. You might have thought to ask that BEFORE you got up on stage and asked in front of everyone. "You haven't been in long. You should have seen what they got Pete Gibbons! Ooo! They can tell ya! They all... remember that...so..." It's so bad. Ricky probably wasn't expecting anything, but now that you mentioned it, you made it awkward for everyone. Also, nice of you to talk about a guy Ricky doesn't know and mentioning that he got a gift when Ricky didn't. It really makes him feel included, I'm sure. But then who cares? Cut the apron strings, I say! Two women we haven't seen before look at David, dead serious. There's a chilling silence. Even David's smile is beginning to fade a little, so he decides to get to the point.

"Just come from a meeting at head office, where I was officially offered the job as UK manager, and as you know, taking that job would mean a lot of you would lose your jobs." He gets very serious talking about it, as if he finally cares about the employees. "That's why I told them to shove the job up their arses!" he shouts. Dennis and Joan still stare blankly, but Malcolm, apparently the spokesperson for the employees, shouts out, "So you're staying here?" David shouts back: "Yes! We all are! We'll incorporate Swindon! So... you know... hip hip hooray for David Brent! Hip hip..." His voice sounds expectant, so some people dutifully clap and shout hooray, even if it's not particularly emphatic. "No, stop it, seriously..." David starts mock-modestly. Yeah, he really doesn't care. "Let's move on. Let's rock!" he laughs gleefully and tells Keith to spin the record to the rhythm of his hand movements, as if that's the coolest thing ever. Keith fails to get it right and David gets annoyed and says, "Clumsy." That's kinda mean, David. At least don't speak into the microphone when you say stuff like that. Also: If he had put the record down as soon as you made that hand movement, they still wouldn't think you're Fatboy Slim. Well, maybe if you took out "slim", they would.

"Sex Bomb" plays and everyone starts dancing. The anonymous young female employee looks like she's laughing out of joy. Dawn is chewing on a cherry from a drink and leaning on Lee. She has a sexy black dress on and her hair is curled a bit for the occasion. Gareth, probably after a few more drinks, walks up to the girl with rasta braids. He starts by touching her hair, a slightly too intimate greeting for my liking, but Rasta Girl seems to find it OK. At the bar, Lee walks up to Tim and drunkenly demands if Tim asked his girlfriend out, "what sort of bloke would I be if I let that go? Do we have a problem here?" He puts his arm around Tim's neck in a threatening gesture. Tim, panicked, says: "Lee, please, can I get a word in? When I asked her out it was as a friend, it wasn't as a girlfriend, it was a shoulder to cry on." "A soldier? What do you want a soldier to cry on for? Are you bent or something?" Lee asks. Tim suddenly realizes it's a wind-up. He gives a deep sigh of relief: "Don't do that, man!" Lee gives a rather sexist compliment to Dawn: "Wouldn't blame you tho, she's a good-looking girl." "Yeah, she is," Tim admits. Well, it's a nice thing to say, except that I think he said it just to show that he can get a good-looking girl, which is macho and annoying, like pretty much everything Lee does. He walks away with his hand around Dawn - clearly showing that he OWNS this lady, so hands off, blokes - but not before she gives him the stinkeye. Yeah, I wouldn't be too excited either if my fiancé did that. Tim looks around, embarrassed but trying to smile, as others snicker at his expense. Yeah, great fun. I wonder what they would have done if Dawn had gone out with him.

"Tragedy" by Steps starts playing, fittingly to Tim's situation. And everyone's on this show. The camera pans in the dancing crowd, where Stephen Merchant's Dad stands staring blankly at the camera. He's wearing a white shirt, but it's just that same motionless staring as it was in the office, and it's even funnier now because he doesn't look as out of place as he did in the office. On the other hand, he looks more out of place here, when everyone else is moving and not looking at the camera. Gareth shows Rasta Girl some moves, and I don't mean dance moves. At least I think it's not dance moves - he looks more like he's mimicking hitting someone, or blocking someone from hitting him, because he keeps motioning to his back. Rasta Girl flinches every time his arm comes near her, but he always stops it just in time. Gareth's facial expression says: "I'm the man. And I'm very, very drunk."

David is drunkenly talking something into Tim's ear, putting his hand on Tim's shoulder. Joan and anonymous male employee are dancing with their arms in the air, kind of hips against hips. It looks cool, and not something you'd expect Joan to do. Her blue sweater, however, is exactly what you'd expect her to wear. Gareth mimicks hitting Rasta Girl's face, and he seems to use more force than is necessary, because his hand stops just short of her face. Then he shows her something that involves pushing her forward, and he uses a little too much force and she falls on her back. Which was kinda predictable, but still made me laugh. Gareth is so good with women. He looks around nervously and puts his hand on his mouth. He might help her more if he tried lifting her up, or asking if she's OK, or something. It looks more like he's just worried about the camera catching all this and/or people wondering what's going on. Silly Gareth, you didn't have to play soldier to her right away. If anything, that would make me get away from him, but of course he showcases it as the best side of his personality.

"The Only Way is Up" plays as David drunkenly babbles to Gareth and Dennis, his warehouse mate who doesn't look too interested: "That's the thing about leadership. Sometimes you gotta sacrifice yourSELF for the ..." He is interrupted by Donna and Ricky, who come to say that he did a good thing. Which is really fair of them, considering how rude David has been about their relationship. David, of course, has to ruin it by talking some more about things that are none of his business. He says he'd prefer their individual respect. Donna says he has that. "I'd believe that a bit more if he hadn't jumped on top of you when my back was turned," says David and adjusts his tie. Confronted with such gross personal details, Donna uses the only tactic she knows: giving David a taste of his own medicine. "Actually I was on top," she says, but leaves it at that and says one more time they wanted to thank him. David doesn't even say he appreciates it, he just grins smugly and holds his tie. Maybe he's thinking of Donna jumping over Ricky. The warehouse guy fixes his gaze on Donna as she walks away - she's off camera though, so for all I know, he's staring at Ricky's ass. No, I can't say that, because all the guys on this show are DEFINITELY NOT GAY. "And they probably did oral," says Gareth unnecessarily, perhaps imagining Donna perform something similar on him. I'm sure that's just what David wants to hear. David's smile fades, while the warehouse guy nods and drinks some more beer, as does Gareth.

Some time later, David comes out of the men's room as Malcolm walks up to him. "Enjoying the party, Malcolm?" says David, points at him and laughs. Just a friendly laughter or laughing at his bald spot? Probably the latter. David is very drunk and acting juvenile. Malcolm is still in control of himself and wants to talk business. "Yeah, well, I've been with this nutty lot too long" - David touches a guy in a party hat who's walking by and doesn't register at all - "to sell them out for couple of extra quid a year, so... not interested." Malcolm says he talked to Alan's assistant Paula, who told him David failed his medical and was denied the job because of high blood pressure. David tries to keep his face calm, but he still manages to look busted. The familiar grin appears: "Well.. you gotta ask yourself, why did I get high blood pressure on the day of the medical?" Because you're middle-aged, overweight, and drink too much? He does his chin-rubbing movement again, like he always does when mock-thinking. He's got a huge ring on for the party, the kind of ring people wear to appear more rich and powerful than they really are. "Are you saying that you cheated science and faked high blood pressure so that you could remain in the job?" asks Malcolm. My problem with that is that you can cheat. Measuring blood pressure is not an exact science. You could, for instance, run up and down stairs a bit just before the medical. Your blood pressure would get higher that way. Do I think David did that though? No way.

David evasively says, "You gotta ask yourself that" and makes a "my lips are sealed" gesture. Yeah, well, he just got on stage and claimed he refused the job, so why would he have to fake a medical? Didn't he tell them shove it up their asses? Malcolm seems suspicious, so David blathers: "What's worse? Cheating medical science or cheating friends, yeah? The board of directors came up to me and they went, 'Oo, oo David you're the best man for the job, you've got to take the job, we won't take no for an answer.-Oh, you failed the medical? Alright, stay'.. You know." Yeah, sounds like an exact quote. I'm just wondering if that was ALL board members speaking, including the two who voted for Neil? Drunk David is a bad liar, so he continues: "They may or may not have said that to me." If you add something like that, it's like "believe it or not", it sounds like you're lying. "Did they?" says Malcolm. "They may or may not have," David repeats. Very convincing there. "So you faked high blood pressure in order to fail a medical test?" says Malcolm sarcastically. "Oh no," says David and winks, pretending to be lying. "See you later!" And then he just leaves, just like that, and starts dancing as he gets back into the party. Malcolm looks at the camera quickly and follows him. David is such a natural born leader. This is the second time in this episode when he just walks away from a difficult conversation.

The evening moves on and couples start dancing slow songs. Karen is dancing closely with some guy, leaning on his shoulder. They don't show David's reaction, but I'm sure he doesn't like this! Donna kisses Ricky. Their relationship seems natural to me - they like each other, so they got together, and it's as simple as that. That's what they should have done with Dawn and Tim. But alas, Tim is sitting there alone, looking sadly at the couples dancing. Anonymous Female Employee is dancing with Anonymous Older Male Employee, but it looks more like they're just friends. Their expressions look warm, but not romantically so. Dawn and Tim dance close to each other, and for once we see them interact lovingly: Dawn is saying something, clearly some lovey-dovey joke, and Lee smiles tenderly and replies something. That actually makes their relationship seem more real than most scenes. The camera zooms at Tim, who looks at them sadly, almost crying. Then his eyes move and he looks incredulous. The camera pans to reveal Gareth dancing with Rasta Girl, playing with her braids while holding her. You'd think they get tangled up that way, athough... are rasta braids supposed to be tangled up? Gareth looks almost tender, but it might just be because he's drunk and feeling generally soft. Behind him, Keith is bobbing his head and moving his legs to the rhythm, wonderfully expressionless.

The music is talking about Tim again: "Ooo, you wait a long time for me... Oo, you wait a long time... I'm not alone...So don't forget...It's just a silly phase I'm going through..." At that part, Dawn sits down next to Tim. She just sits there for a while, not even looking at him. She seems to be thinking of what to say. With her bare arms and shoulders, the engagement ring shows much better. And she looks really good - dolled up, but natural, not at all like Lucy Davis looks nowadays, all skinny and Hollywoodized. Finally Dawn leans closer to Tim: "So when are you leaving me?" It's one of those 'har har, like we're a couple' jokes that people make when they totally want you. Tim says he's going to stay for a while yet. Dawn asks if he's leaving in the fall, and I'm reminded that Brits call it "autumn". "Probably not," says Tim. There has been a change of plans. "Oh, right," says Dawn in a very delighted tone that is straining to sound nonchalant. "David's made me a senior sales clerk," says Tim. "Wow!" says Dawn, pretending to be happy for him, but her smile suggests she's just really relieved he isn't leaving. Dawn has to ask if he doesn't want to be a psychologist, but Tim says he can earn at least 500 pounds more per year, "and if I do a bit of networking, there's every chance I could be in David's chair in three years, so..." "And all that talk about getting on.. moving on in the world?" asks Dawn. It's funny how this scene mirrors the scenes between David and Jennifer, where Jennifer remembers his earlier words and tries to ask him why he seems to have changed his mind. Tim mimicks David in a scary way, as he says: "No, I said moving up. Moving up can mean... within.. an internal ladder... framework or... sdieways to external linear. You gotta look at the whole pie... vis-a-vis my current life situation, you know." I'm hoping he's just repeating David's words, but maybe the writers are trying to show how he's accepting his work at Wernham Hogg and the bullshit jargon that comes with it. "Vis-a... Pie!" says Dawn and chuckles a bit, trying to make some sense of his management talk. Tim looks Dawn in the eye as he says that his old job is available, "so have a word..." Dawn smiles at him openly, flirtatiously. Who knows what could happen if David didn't walk in just at that moment, belching out: "TimoTHYY!" with that same rising intonation he used earlier. He's wearing a silly party hat, which makes him look even drunker than he already is, and some guys dance in a ring, which looks kinda childish, but hey, it's a party. Dawn is left sitting at the table, staring sadly ahead. Which is actually a nice touch - we saw Tim pining for Dawn, now we see her pining for him.

And to end the first season, the very last David interview before season 2. I feel a bit sad realizing I just recapped the whole first season and only have one more to go. I want to savor it. David sighs as he says: "You grow up, you work.. half a century, you get a golden handshake, you rest a couple of years... and you're dead." He looks at the camera bulging his eyes a bit to mark that this is a profound thought, even if it's more "duh" and quite depressing at that. I guess that's what it is if you only think work-wise, though. "And the only thing that makes this crazy ride worthwhile is... Did I enjoy it? What did I learn, what was the point? That's where I come in." Ah, I see, so he wasn't talking about himself; he was talking about the employees who want to find some meaning to their dull lives, and they find it in him, David Brent. "You've seen me react to people, make them feel good..." Oh, OK. You betrayed your employees, head-butted and pretty much sexually harrassed your secretary, lied to your boss more than once, evaded all responsibility and made a complete fool of yourself. Well, I guess the employees had a good laugh though - at his expense. "Make them think that ANYTHING's possible," he continues and poitns at himself. So they could even become like him? A truly inspirational thought. He rubs his chin again as he says: "If I make them laugh along the way, sue me!" I love how he always says things like that, as if people find it so outrageous that he should make work fun for his employees. Which he, of course, doesn't do.

And his final thought: "And I don't do it so they turn around and go: 'Oh thank you David for the opportunity, thank you for the wisdom, thank you for the laughs...' I do it so one day someone will go: 'There goes David Brent. I must remember to thank him.' " So he doesn't want people to thank him - he wants them to want to thank him. It's like "don't think of me as your superior, but know that I am". And whatever David says about how committed he is to his employees, he can only talk about himself, and the only things he says about other people have to do with how those people think he's so great. Which is what makes his interviews so great. Another reason is that he never ever lives up to his words. Gotta love our fickle, back-stabbing, yet somehow clumsily well-meaning David.

The final image of the season: Tim sitting at his computer, still at work, still at the same desk. Nothing happens in this scene, absolutely nothing. It's awesome. It's like saying: "... and they all lived unhappily ever after in their dull, uninspired lives." I wish for Tim that he had gone off to study psychology, but I think the writers knew at this point that if they want a second season, Tim has to be there. So they left him in his purgatory, forever mousing through boring computer tasks and calling boring calls about the price of mat-coated paper. Don't worry, Tim. You're our hero.