Christmas Specials, part 3: "Back Again"

The office, where life goes on as always - the same employees, the same desks, the same jobs, somewhat newer computers. Still no flat screens though. There are a few thin magazines scattered on the table next to the sofa. They look like old, worn out issues. What a dead environment.

Mel the new receptionist is staring ahead in an i-hate-my-job daze. Then the camera moves behind David "Once the boss, always the boss, no matter what they say" Brent, as he walks into his old office. "Back again," he says to the camera. He stops at Mel's desk, formerly known as Dawn's desk. "A new Dawn," he says, pointing at Mel. "She looks a bit... A younger model though." She doesn't look that much like Dawn, they just have the same color of hair. Shows how much David cared about Dawn. "I'm not a model," Mel says. Eh. "Not as bright as Dawn," David mutters under his breath. As usual, he seems to think he can say things to the camera that he doesn't want others to hear.

David goes over to Tim, who doesn't look all too excited to see him. He forces a chuckle and slaps David's hand, because David wants him to. "Timbo! Timbeer!" David mugs for the camera. The extras contain many takes of this one as Ricky Gervais kept improvising to make Martin Freeman crack up. My favorite was "Bishop Musharewa!" that somehow came from Tim Canterbury -> Archbishop of Canterbury. I love how his mind works, but wouldn't like to work with him.

David asks how things are going, and Tim has no response except "Same old", because his life is at a point where nothing new ever happens. David tries to show how he still knows the biz by looking at Tim's screen (rude!), and noting there's a familiar name. "Remember what I told you about Trevor? You can tell when he's lying. His lips move!" David grins at the camera as if this is a completely original joke - he comes up with his own material, wank you very much! - and Tim courtesy-laughs. David ruffles Tim's hair as if he's five and walks on towards his old office. Tim gives the camera the cutest eyebrow lift/smile that seems to say "that guy's a jerk but he thinks we're friends and I'm not going to show my true feelings as long as the camera is on me". He'd be great in a kids' show. That expression is adorable. Off-camera, David hollers, "Keenan in?" but he goes in anyway, so Tim just goes, "Huh?" and turns back to his desk.

David sits in his old chair as if he owns the place, and looks into the desktop drawers. I italize that because that is one big no-no in my book. Do not look into other people's drawers. It's an invasion of privacy. But of course, David thinks the room is still his. He triumphantly picks up a stamper and says, "Well, I bought that! From Hartford's." Yeah, that really stamps it as your room. That's when Gareth comes in. They engage in this awesome dialogue that shows their relationship change over the years. Gareth ranks higher now and shows it.

David: "Here he is! The feller who nicked me job!"
Gareth: "Didn't nick it."
David: "Nah. I didn't want it anymore."
Gareth: "Yeah, you did, you begged for it back!"
David: "No I didn't, shut up! Dunno what you're talking about. "
Gareth: "He's here more often now that he doesn't work here than he was when he did work here."
David: "Haha, exaggerating."

It's so clear from this bit of dialogue that their pecking order is now different. Gareth seems to have gained more confidence, even if he seems to use it to put David down. It's like he used to be bullied, now he's got power and he's the bully, which shows what kind of person he really is. David tries to pretend that he's just kidding, but you can tell who's got the upper hand. David claims he only came in because of the viewers. Gareth says, half-jokingly, "Bit disruptive..." David, turning up his grin a notch because he's getting offended, says, "It's not disruptive! It's good for them" - pointing at the camera - "so it's good for the company, so it should be good for you." Gareth, feeling so embarrassed that he can't even look at David, chuckles uneasily: "Always nice to see you..." What does it tell you if he's looking down and says it for the second time? Gareth repeats to the camera that David is there "an awful lot", interesting choice of words. David claims that he's still welcome there, and Gareth suggests that he call them first. "I'm not gonna call ahead, you're not a doctor! When you're a doctor I'll make an appointment," David says and laughs even if that makes absolutely no sense, and it's obvious that he's making desperate jokes to make it all appear jovial, when in fact Gareth is telling him that he's not all that welcome here anymore. Gareth laughs politely and admits he's not a doctor. David, who always takes the joke too far, says, "Six years of medical training - he's got one O level." I suppose that's like the British SAT's? Gareth jokes that he'll lock the door, but David says, "I'll still get in, you'll see", and giggles desperately. To make it even more awkward, Gareth repeats the part about calling ahead, and David again refuses.

Gareth says he only has ten minutes for David and that he's busy, but David refuses to believe him. "I know how many hours you do a week! He seems to forget that," he says to the camera. Well, since his idea of work is basically talking to the employees about anything (and usually not paper), or sitting in his office writing "poems" and game show ideas, it's understandable that he thinks so. On the other hand, he could just be desperate and purposely keep missing Gareth's not entirely subtle ways of brushing him off. He giggles some more and waves his arm at Gareth as if he's trying to hit him, and Gareth makes a bit of a flinch, which shows he's nervous about David's reaction. Then he repeats, once again, that David should call ahead. "I'm not gonna call ahead!" David says, now angrily. It's a reasonable request, and it's really jerkwardly to not comply. I still feel sorry for him though. He's an idiot, but he suffers for it himself.

Gareth interview. He says he learned from David and the mistakes he made: "He used humor, where I use discipline. And I learned that nobody respected him." It's true, but nobody respects Gareth either, and I have a feeling they hate him even more than they did David, because he's a pedantic blowhard, as we will soon see. He wouldn't be Gareth if his mind didn't immediately jump to war. He says you can't use humor there, because men will not follow you if you say, " 'Come with me lads, I'll tell you a joke.' " Hee. Maybe you should tell the joke instead of promising to tell it. Actually, in a war situation, humor might be a lifesaver (well, not literally) to many soldiers. Hasn't he ever seen Good Morning, Vietnam? "It's a direct order: 'Come. With. Me.' And they'll go, 'Yes, he has leadership skills, let's all follow him to our certain deaths.' "

Heee. I love how he assumes that direct orders make people basically want to die. His naïve wide-eyed stare at the camera is even more amusing when you pause there. I do wonder what Gareth would do in an actual war situation. "And also, if you're laughing in the jungle, you give away your position to the enemy," he adds as if that's necessary to know in an office setting. He really provides vital insights to why David got fired.

Tim sits at his computer, and Anne the annoyance sits at hers. She holds up a piece of paper to Tim, while working at her computer still, and asks if he wants her to send it. Tim says yes, looking baffled. "Do you want me to send it as it is? It's got your signature and everything." Tim says it's alright. Anne says sure it is, "cos it is 2002." Ugh. We've probably all worked with someone like this (personally I remember studying with someone who enjoyed correcting any mistakes I made in pair work at language class), and it's just the rudest, most obnoxious way of pointing out a mistake. I'd almost ask what Anne has against Tim, but she's just being Anne - she doesn't give a shit about anyone but herself, her son and her husband. Tim sheepishly apologizes and promises to fix it. I wish he stood up for himself a little more. I do like his character, but I'd like him better with a little more backbone. Not that I'd do any differently in that situation though, so I should just commend the scene's realism. In the end, maybe I'd like Tim less if he were rude back. It's funny how we're wired to always dream of a revenge and hate ourselves when we actually get it. And also hate characters who get their revenge, because that makes them the bad guys. OK, that's enough philosophy for one paragraph.

Tim, looking years older, asks Anne if she wouldn't like it better over there with the number bods. She says she needs her space, and couldn't breathe there. "That Big Keith, he's grotesque, isn't he?" Ah - are the writers saying that people who criticize fat people for taking up space are asses? Could they be? I love them even more if they are. Anne babbles about how she needs space, obviously without getting the hint that Tim doesn't like her. Tim stares ahead with empty eyes. And we cut to who she's probably thinking of, but that's in another chapter.