Red, lonely streetlights stare into the night as David drives in his car. Next we see him walking in the door of a pub. "Mumbo Jumbo's," he says. Great name that's got it all: cheap lame pun, sounds like a place 16-year-olds go to drink with a fake ID. "Oo, smell the sour beer." It's great that he keeps up the humor in all moments, as if he's a lame TV show host who can't stop joking even if he has nothing good to say. He spots a poster on the wall and points at it to show his name - only it doesn't have his name, it has "Surprise T.V Personality." David is visibly disappointed. He says it's a shame they haven't put his name on it, "now my fanbase won't know I'm on." He thinks he has a fanbase?! Who would that consist of? Fired executives who didn't know how to do their jobs and now hate their former bosses? People with a terible sense of humor? I dunno, I guess it's feasible someone would have liked him if it were a real documentary, but only if they were as clueless as David. Surely not young people who go to places like Mumbo Jumbo's. David's agent walks in, a character not unlike the incompetent agent in Extras. David tells him jokingly, "I'd like to complain about this poster, please."
Peter the Agent is not very good at presenting his agency; the interviewer asks him what they have and he just says "all sorts of stuff." David has to press him to tell the camera what they do, and it turns out they have "celebrities like David" - David chuckles smugly - tribute bands and "lookey-likeys". And which ones? "I've got Kirk Douglas," Peter says. "Michael Douglas," corrects David. Hee. Asked what he does, Peter says he goes to parties and "he'll just wander around looking like Michael Douglas". Sounds very exciting. I think a look-a-like is actually supposed to perform something to make it interesting, not just stand around at the party, but I could be wrong. Peter makes his agency look even sadder by adding that people aren't recognizing him, think he's just some old guy, so he's going to hire a Catherine Zeta-Jones look-a-like to show who he is.
David acts like the agency is just great and has awesomely talented people - like himself - listed. I love the phrase "celebrities like David". It's a good thing to mention that, because "celebrities" alone would be a bit, well, misleading. David jokes that Peter should have a look-a-like of him. "You're nowhere near famous enough," replies Peter who seems to have all the subtlety of a truck, but at least he's being honest. David giggles and claims he was only joking, but then gets offended: "You're meant to big me up... sort of..." Some of David's patented incompleted sentences. Both guys stare ahead awkwardly. I guess David's self esteem is, now that he lost his job, completely dependent on his "celebrity", and comments like that really hurt. Which makes me feel even sorrier for him than usual.
David interview. He talks slowly, like a man on a mission, which he thinks he is. "I..have..been given..an opportunity...that would literally be a sin to waste, so get on with it, yeah?" I love the use of literally, one of the most abused words of recent years. I'm not even sure how the word works here, because how can something be literally a sin? It's a religious concept and David isn't religious, so he's mixing phrases badly. He claims that, since TV showed him to people, they're now saying, "Yeah? What else you got?" Well, I agree, but I think they mean who else, not what else David's wide talents can offer them. "So..duty.. calls, you know. I seem to be able to give pleasure." I love how dirty that sounds, and how at odds it is with the following scene.
There's a young host, and if he's a British celebrity I don't recognize him. The crowd cheers at every sentence he says. They're all about 19 years old, and the chant of the night is "feeling hot, hot, hot!" We see David in the wings, trying to jam to the music and get into the mood. Is it the agent's fault or David's, I don't know, but this totally isn't his scene.
David is announced as a "special treat". As the announcer mentions he's from The Office, David walks towards him, so the crowd can see him, but no one makes a peep (yeah, they love him). The announcer looks at David as if to say "I've got more", and David goes back to the wings. Embarrassing introduction continues: "Some of you may even have bought his single recently, though probably not, cos he got to about number 400." Nice. And as he introduces David in an enthuasiastic tone, the applause is very vague, and the crowd looks bored. First things first: without saying hi, David takes the microphone and says, "Got to 113, so..." That's not so bad for a first single, actually. David chuckles awkwardly. The announcer asks what he's doing. "Just doing this at the moment," David says and chuckles even more awkwardly. Nothing saves the day like a bad joke. The host asks what else he's doing. David buys time by saying "more of these", then mentions his "walks for Mencap... which is important for me...", and he stops to look at the crowd, as if this should convince them that he is the king of charity. No one seems to really care.
"Got lots of stuff in the pipeline," he finishes, thinking this sounds nice and vague. Sadly, this piques the announcer's interest and he wants to hear what kind of stuff. "Oh.. even more of these...um... Opportunities really..." He can't think of more to say and just awkwardly cuts it off. You can hear people chattering in the crowd, obviously not listening. "Great," the announcer says in a quiet, unimpressed voice, then corrects, "Great, great!" Gotta keep up with the enthusiastic Mumbo Jumbo's spirit, even if the guest is giving you nothing. David could have at least lied that he's doing something. Writing a book about his experiences, educating other people who got fired, something. Who's gonna check?
For the coup de grace, the announcer asks, enthusiastically again, what David is going to perform tonight. David makes a surprised face, it's obvious that he didn't know he's supposed to do something. "They just said come out and say hello," he says. Someone coughs in the audience, and it's very audible. Never a good sign. "That's it, is it?" the host asks, his voice gone flat now that he realizes this surprise TV personality is not only a complete flop with the audience, but also not much of a personality. "David Brent!" the host shouts again, but no one really bothers to clap. "Feeling hot, hot, hot" is chanted again as David stands in the wings, looking at the camera with a look of utter humiliation and failure, but trying to look stern.
David's problem is obvious: he thinks he can ride on the success of the show, which ended a few years ago, but since he hasn't really gotten his life together to do something new, he has nothing to offer in these performances. Look David, it's nothing personal - documentaries just don't make celebrities.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Christmas Specials, part 7: "Perks of the Job"
David walks into Gareth's office. Is this still the same visit or another one? He opens a closed door without knocking, since he obviously still owns the place. "Heyy, the man himself," David says and gives the good old male "slap my paw" greeting to Finchy, who, to his credit, seems genuinely happy to see David and says "Brentmeister" with some affection. David slaps Gareth's hand, a brotherly greeting, perhaps a bit condescending considering Gareth's the boss now. Neil holds out his hand but David doesn't grab it or even make eye contact, so Neil has to draw the hand back. Classy. You could just treat him like a person even if you do hate him, David.
Finchy asks how "life on the road" is going. David insinuates that there are "a few perks, aren't there." He grins to the guys as if he's having lots and lots of sex all the time. You're not fooling anyone, David. "What sort of perks?" asks Neil, because he either wants to point out that he doesn't believe David, or he just can't imagine anything sexual concerning him. "Use your imagination! Young, free and single - motels!" He makes a sort of car brake screeching noise before "motels". Well, single, OK, but young and free? "What, girls?" asks Gareth, who's smart enough to get the obvious hint, but not smart enough to not point it out. David tells him not to be "so blatant about it." Hee. "Isn't that what you meant?" asks a confused Gareth. "Don't try to work out if I meant something or not, it's an innuendo!" laughs David. But don't you make innunendos so that people can work it out? Obviously he never has sex and doesn't want to be too specific, because he'd get caught lying.
David says Finchy knows what he's talking about; "You don't know, you're stuck behind a desk," he tells Neil belittlingly. Neil says he wouldn't anyway, since he's getting married. Finchy congratules him, seeming genuinely happy. The camera zooms in on David's face, and he suddenly looks like he just bit on some very sour grapes. He pretends to care who it is, and Neil happily tells the camera that his wife-to-be is named Rebecca, and they've been together for six years. His face lights up just thinking about her, which is cute. David reluctantly asks when the wedding is set. "Not until next year," says Neil. David gives a childish giggle, like a reflex. "I'll be bloody married by then," he says smugly. "Who to?" Neil asks, surprised. "All I'm saying is, year is a long time," says David. Did Neil say it's gonna be a year, or that he's getting married next year, since it's December now, so do the math, David. Neil asks if David is seeing anyone. "Grandad," says David as if dating is for old people and he's still young free and single and having fun. "Of course he's not," says Finchy meanly. "Of course I AM!" David hurries to defend himself. He says he doesn't commit to anyone, which is at least true.
Neil shows a picture of Rebecca, which isn't shown to the camera. Finchy, of course, calls her a "stunner" and David, of course, calls him a sexist because the cameras are there. Trying to find something negative to say, David says, "I prefer something a little more intellectual." So he calls Finchy sexist for calling a woman beautiful, yet he falls right into the trap of "beautiful=unintelligent", and thinks it's OK to say that on camera. Typical David. Neil points out that Rebecca is a doctor. Finchy teases him that he never sees women like that "not without a staple through her stomach", and I must admit it took me a while to get the joke. Just shows how innocent and virginal I am. Finchy makes a cheek-swabbing gesture I dont' fully get. Is that meant to be wanking? Eww. Neil laughs meanly, because he's getting some kindf o comeuppance.
As a further sign that Neil sometimes stoops to Finchy's level, he asks David if he's bringing any of his "chicks" - said sarcastically - to the Christmas party. David, cornered, stupidly nods his head, and Neil asks if he needs two tickets then. David nods again and says,"One for me, one for definitely a woman." Hee! Definitely. "See you then, wiith a ladyy," he says drawlingly. Neil knows full well he's bluffing and is only waiting for the day he gets to laugh in David's face at last. Which is kinda low of him, but I can't say I blame him really.
David interview. "Yeah, I've got girlfriends - on and off. They come and go." This kind of thing would be impossible to disprove, so you can freely lie to the camera about having a bunch of superficial relationships that your family and friends never saw because they were just so short. The interviewer asks when his last actual relationship was. David finds a way to idiotically dock the question: "I don't look at it as when, I look at it as who and why." He pauses and looks at the camera to show that he's a deep kinda guy who cares about who he goes out with, and why, not when he went out with them last or whatever. I'm wondering if David ever had an actual girlfriend. On the one hand, he'd have wanted to have a "free" youth with no strings attached; on the other hand, he's not attractive or smart enough to attract a bunch of women all the time. I'm sure he's had sex, but with whom and why? That is the question.
David says that his approach with girlfriends - "or girl stroke friends or whatever you wanna label them" - is a lot like this fictional dialogue: "That was fun, can we do it again tomorrow? Can't tomorrow, doing something else then. What are you doing? -Back off. Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies." He smiles smugly, as if that's really witty and makes him a man's man. Which I guess it would if it were true, because the prerequisite for being a man's man in the eyes of other men is basically being a jerk. He says he's not "browsing" for a relationship, and adds jokingly that he's got the money, but he's waiting for a good bargain. "That's a metaphor, I'd NEVER pay for it," he adds quickly and glances at the camera with concern. Heee. It's like his joke about Dawn in the Motivational Speech episode. Or his "I would and I have" comment when Finchy told him he wouldn't score in a whorehouse. So I conclude he has paid for it once or twice. This distracts him, and he seems to do a "where was I?" look at the interviewer. I love how he always gets distracted explaining that he didn't mean things literally, even if it's obvious from the context.
Finchy asks how "life on the road" is going. David insinuates that there are "a few perks, aren't there." He grins to the guys as if he's having lots and lots of sex all the time. You're not fooling anyone, David. "What sort of perks?" asks Neil, because he either wants to point out that he doesn't believe David, or he just can't imagine anything sexual concerning him. "Use your imagination! Young, free and single - motels!" He makes a sort of car brake screeching noise before "motels". Well, single, OK, but young and free? "What, girls?" asks Gareth, who's smart enough to get the obvious hint, but not smart enough to not point it out. David tells him not to be "so blatant about it." Hee. "Isn't that what you meant?" asks a confused Gareth. "Don't try to work out if I meant something or not, it's an innuendo!" laughs David. But don't you make innunendos so that people can work it out? Obviously he never has sex and doesn't want to be too specific, because he'd get caught lying.
David says Finchy knows what he's talking about; "You don't know, you're stuck behind a desk," he tells Neil belittlingly. Neil says he wouldn't anyway, since he's getting married. Finchy congratules him, seeming genuinely happy. The camera zooms in on David's face, and he suddenly looks like he just bit on some very sour grapes. He pretends to care who it is, and Neil happily tells the camera that his wife-to-be is named Rebecca, and they've been together for six years. His face lights up just thinking about her, which is cute. David reluctantly asks when the wedding is set. "Not until next year," says Neil. David gives a childish giggle, like a reflex. "I'll be bloody married by then," he says smugly. "Who to?" Neil asks, surprised. "All I'm saying is, year is a long time," says David. Did Neil say it's gonna be a year, or that he's getting married next year, since it's December now, so do the math, David. Neil asks if David is seeing anyone. "Grandad," says David as if dating is for old people and he's still young free and single and having fun. "Of course he's not," says Finchy meanly. "Of course I AM!" David hurries to defend himself. He says he doesn't commit to anyone, which is at least true.
Neil shows a picture of Rebecca, which isn't shown to the camera. Finchy, of course, calls her a "stunner" and David, of course, calls him a sexist because the cameras are there. Trying to find something negative to say, David says, "I prefer something a little more intellectual." So he calls Finchy sexist for calling a woman beautiful, yet he falls right into the trap of "beautiful=unintelligent", and thinks it's OK to say that on camera. Typical David. Neil points out that Rebecca is a doctor. Finchy teases him that he never sees women like that "not without a staple through her stomach", and I must admit it took me a while to get the joke. Just shows how innocent and virginal I am. Finchy makes a cheek-swabbing gesture I dont' fully get. Is that meant to be wanking? Eww. Neil laughs meanly, because he's getting some kindf o comeuppance.
As a further sign that Neil sometimes stoops to Finchy's level, he asks David if he's bringing any of his "chicks" - said sarcastically - to the Christmas party. David, cornered, stupidly nods his head, and Neil asks if he needs two tickets then. David nods again and says,"One for me, one for definitely a woman." Hee! Definitely. "See you then, wiith a ladyy," he says drawlingly. Neil knows full well he's bluffing and is only waiting for the day he gets to laugh in David's face at last. Which is kinda low of him, but I can't say I blame him really.
David interview. "Yeah, I've got girlfriends - on and off. They come and go." This kind of thing would be impossible to disprove, so you can freely lie to the camera about having a bunch of superficial relationships that your family and friends never saw because they were just so short. The interviewer asks when his last actual relationship was. David finds a way to idiotically dock the question: "I don't look at it as when, I look at it as who and why." He pauses and looks at the camera to show that he's a deep kinda guy who cares about who he goes out with, and why, not when he went out with them last or whatever. I'm wondering if David ever had an actual girlfriend. On the one hand, he'd have wanted to have a "free" youth with no strings attached; on the other hand, he's not attractive or smart enough to attract a bunch of women all the time. I'm sure he's had sex, but with whom and why? That is the question.
David says that his approach with girlfriends - "or girl stroke friends or whatever you wanna label them" - is a lot like this fictional dialogue: "That was fun, can we do it again tomorrow? Can't tomorrow, doing something else then. What are you doing? -Back off. Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies." He smiles smugly, as if that's really witty and makes him a man's man. Which I guess it would if it were true, because the prerequisite for being a man's man in the eyes of other men is basically being a jerk. He says he's not "browsing" for a relationship, and adds jokingly that he's got the money, but he's waiting for a good bargain. "That's a metaphor, I'd NEVER pay for it," he adds quickly and glances at the camera with concern. Heee. It's like his joke about Dawn in the Motivational Speech episode. Or his "I would and I have" comment when Finchy told him he wouldn't score in a whorehouse. So I conclude he has paid for it once or twice. This distracts him, and he seems to do a "where was I?" look at the interviewer. I love how he always gets distracted explaining that he didn't mean things literally, even if it's obvious from the context.
Christmas Specials, Part 6: "Tim's Agenda"
The office. Anne working and not annoying others for a change, as Tim's not at his desk. Cut to the conference room, where Gareth is starting a meeting, "chaired by myself, G. Keenan." He twists his mouth as if this is a great joke, but it's really just a redundant thing to say. I love how we never saw a meeting of this sort before. David's meetings were easygoing business, just remember to laugh at the jokes.
We're about to see what's wrong with Gareth's approach though, as he insists that they go by the agenda even when Tim's got something urgent to add to it. Tim, who has very low bullshit tolerance, just starts telling it, but Gareth blocks his ears and goes "lalalalalala, I did not officially hear that!" I love this. It's so schoolboyish still, even if Gareth's supposed to be the big boss who uses discipline in the jungle to take the employees to their certain deaths. "So I cannot possibly get this on the agenda? There's no way I can get this on the agenda?" asks Tim. "No," Gareth says firmly. "So what's point seven on the agenda?" Tim asks, and Gareth has to admit that it's "Any other business" and Tim can bring it up then. Gareth's self-importance about The Agenda is just like his old "I'm the assistant regional manager" thing. He says it's already typed up, but who typed it up? I bet he did it himself. He has to do things just so, not because lives depend on it but because he just is wired that way. Tim looks tired, old and worn out. Aww, poor Tim. He must be thinking that he could be the boss now if he had chosen to take the job.
Back to Dawn and Lee. Oh my. And yes, I get it - Tim's agenda was to go out with Dawn. Dawn is still holding baby Ryan, who's wriggling and also pulling her hair, which must be distracting while being interviewed. The interviewer asks how Dawn felt when Tim asked her out. "Which time?" says Lee with his eyes still closed, obviously thinking nothing of Tim. Yeah, you're such a catch that you really don't need to worry about Tim. You treat her so well too. She's lucky to have you. I find very few redeeming qualities in Lee, even if I must admit he's pretty good-looking.
"Shut up," says Dawn, something she should say a lot more often. "I didn't really know what to say," she admits. "Well, you did, you said no," says Lee and look sat Dawn with his frows burrowed a bit. Hmm hmm. Maybe she didn't know what to say because she really wanted to go out with him? Dawn corrects that it was because she felt embarrassed for Tim, but "it's a million miles away", and it's obvious she still has feelings for Tim and can't really discuss them on camera or in front of Lee. She asks, "Can we just not talk about it? I don't want to hurt Tim's feelings."
It's classy and kind of her, but it's also very obvious that she can't handle to talk about it, even now, and wonder what it would be like if she had a life with Tim and not this shadow existence in Lee's chosen paradise. Which is not that different from Tim's situation where he chose to stay at Wernham Hogg and created his own hell. I mean, OK, Dawn and Lee had already made plans to go to Florida when Tim acted on his feelings, so it was too little too late. But Dawn had plenty of chances to dump Lee before. It's not that I don't sympathize, but there are moments when you must make a choice, and Dawn made hers, not based on her own true feelings but based on some false notion of loyalty to Lee who treats her like crap. She's a smart, strong woman, but she doesn't have enough self respect to pull off a life that would satisfy her.
Timterview. He admits he's caught in the act, or "banged to rights" - hee! - because people saw him tell Dawn about his feelings. No more "I asked her out as a friend", so that's a relief at least. Tim says people worry what their mates are going to say, but it's not a problem for him "I have... no mates!" and he chuckles a little. I wonder about Tim's friends. You'd think he has loads of them, but he seems quite lonely, while Gareth the idiot has his "mad mates". Tim tells us that he watched that part with his family, "I was mortified, obviously, and my grandmother said, 'I'm not surprised she chose the other feller, I wouldn't kick him out of bed.' " Hee! That's so good. I can't, under any circumstances, imagine my grandmother even mentioning sex. Disturbing. Tim tells the camera, "Lee, if you're watching and you ever get bored with being with someone with her own teeth - Nana's up for it!" I love Tim's humor. Of course, it doesn't leave much to snark about, but it's just natural and flowing from the circumstances. The exact opposite of David's forced puns, that is.
We're about to see what's wrong with Gareth's approach though, as he insists that they go by the agenda even when Tim's got something urgent to add to it. Tim, who has very low bullshit tolerance, just starts telling it, but Gareth blocks his ears and goes "lalalalalala, I did not officially hear that!" I love this. It's so schoolboyish still, even if Gareth's supposed to be the big boss who uses discipline in the jungle to take the employees to their certain deaths. "So I cannot possibly get this on the agenda? There's no way I can get this on the agenda?" asks Tim. "No," Gareth says firmly. "So what's point seven on the agenda?" Tim asks, and Gareth has to admit that it's "Any other business" and Tim can bring it up then. Gareth's self-importance about The Agenda is just like his old "I'm the assistant regional manager" thing. He says it's already typed up, but who typed it up? I bet he did it himself. He has to do things just so, not because lives depend on it but because he just is wired that way. Tim looks tired, old and worn out. Aww, poor Tim. He must be thinking that he could be the boss now if he had chosen to take the job.
Back to Dawn and Lee. Oh my. And yes, I get it - Tim's agenda was to go out with Dawn. Dawn is still holding baby Ryan, who's wriggling and also pulling her hair, which must be distracting while being interviewed. The interviewer asks how Dawn felt when Tim asked her out. "Which time?" says Lee with his eyes still closed, obviously thinking nothing of Tim. Yeah, you're such a catch that you really don't need to worry about Tim. You treat her so well too. She's lucky to have you. I find very few redeeming qualities in Lee, even if I must admit he's pretty good-looking.
"Shut up," says Dawn, something she should say a lot more often. "I didn't really know what to say," she admits. "Well, you did, you said no," says Lee and look sat Dawn with his frows burrowed a bit. Hmm hmm. Maybe she didn't know what to say because she really wanted to go out with him? Dawn corrects that it was because she felt embarrassed for Tim, but "it's a million miles away", and it's obvious she still has feelings for Tim and can't really discuss them on camera or in front of Lee. She asks, "Can we just not talk about it? I don't want to hurt Tim's feelings."
It's classy and kind of her, but it's also very obvious that she can't handle to talk about it, even now, and wonder what it would be like if she had a life with Tim and not this shadow existence in Lee's chosen paradise. Which is not that different from Tim's situation where he chose to stay at Wernham Hogg and created his own hell. I mean, OK, Dawn and Lee had already made plans to go to Florida when Tim acted on his feelings, so it was too little too late. But Dawn had plenty of chances to dump Lee before. It's not that I don't sympathize, but there are moments when you must make a choice, and Dawn made hers, not based on her own true feelings but based on some false notion of loyalty to Lee who treats her like crap. She's a smart, strong woman, but she doesn't have enough self respect to pull off a life that would satisfy her.
Timterview. He admits he's caught in the act, or "banged to rights" - hee! - because people saw him tell Dawn about his feelings. No more "I asked her out as a friend", so that's a relief at least. Tim says people worry what their mates are going to say, but it's not a problem for him "I have... no mates!" and he chuckles a little. I wonder about Tim's friends. You'd think he has loads of them, but he seems quite lonely, while Gareth the idiot has his "mad mates". Tim tells us that he watched that part with his family, "I was mortified, obviously, and my grandmother said, 'I'm not surprised she chose the other feller, I wouldn't kick him out of bed.' " Hee! That's so good. I can't, under any circumstances, imagine my grandmother even mentioning sex. Disturbing. Tim tells the camera, "Lee, if you're watching and you ever get bored with being with someone with her own teeth - Nana's up for it!" I love Tim's humor. Of course, it doesn't leave much to snark about, but it's just natural and flowing from the circumstances. The exact opposite of David's forced puns, that is.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Christmas Specials, part 5: "Record Sales"
New at Brentisms: the links to the side actually work now! Do check them out if you haven't already seen them. They're as funny as the show, since they're written by GervaisMerchant. Back to the special.
We move back to David and Gareth. David is sitting in the chair where Gareth used to sit, and Gareth is in David's place. The camera is closer to David, and he's talking to it as if he's the host of the show. As he always imagined himself to be, I'm sure. David says that there's been a change of title. Gareth isn't called General Manager; "I was sort of omnipotent, this is a much more watered down version." Omnipotent? How many omnipotent people get fired? Hee. But wait a minute - was David general manager? Wasn't he regional manager to Gareth's assistant regional manager?
Gareth says it was because of David who sued Wernham Hogg for being fired. Sued them. For being fired because of incompetence. I'd love to hear what he used as an excuse. Discrimination based on his looks? No, that won't do since he is actually not good-looking. Maybe he sued them because he got fired for being a man. Or being white. Well, he doesn't say what his case was based on, but he does smugly note that he won, and I do think GervaisMerchant are making commentary on modern law suits. Either way, David got a settlement. "Wasted most of it though," Gareth says. "Tell them what you spent it on." What an idiot. Maybe David puts up with this bullshit because he knows Gareth has a right to ask him to leave and/or bar him from the office, and he couldn't take that.
"I released my own single," David says. Interestingly, he didn't bring this up before, so obviously he thinks it's a big flop. David wouldn't not bring up a success if he ever had one, remembering how he blew up the whole motivational speech thing. But when Gareth laughs and says he "didn't even get into the top 100", David immediately hits him back with a "Good! Didn't wanted to! Next!" He should really come up with a new way of dealing with disappointment. It's a bit obvious. The interviewer asks how much it cost. David fuddles that he had to pay for everything - the studio time, the printing costs - but pressed on it, he admits it came to 42,000 pounds. Gareth, off camera, giggles and David glances at him, looking concerned. He's quick to add that that's not counting the money he made when he sold the single, one pound for every single, because "I've got my own record label, Juxtaposition Records" - pregnant pause and look at the camera to let it sink in. Hee! I'm sure it's a very successful record label, with lots of prominent artists.
He hopes it would end there, on a high note, but no such luck as the interviewer asks him how many he sold. He mumbles something incoherent while touching up his tie. "Excuse me?" "One hundred and fifty," David says clearly. So he made 150 pounds. And he lost - 42,000 pounds. Maybe he should have made a demo and offered it to a record company instead? Gareth meanly points out that he only sold it to friends and family, who bought it to support him, and he bought five himself. "You bought them for your mates," says David. "They're still in the garage," says Gareth. Now, on camera, he'll admit that just to make David look bad. So low. David doesn't know how to react to it while still saving face, so he makes a face that looks amused or belittling, "Whatever." Poor David.
We cut to the video, which is brilliant. It's a good parody of the bland ballad genre in that it could be from a real, albeit cheap and lame, music video. It's subtle and if I saw it on a music channel without knowing David Brent, I probably wouldn't think it's a parody. With a closer look, however, it's difficult to take it seriously. It's difficult to recap a music video, but a few pointers:
-It's obviously shot in some kind of abandoned factory or other huge stone building that doesn't look anything like a modern apartment. Sure, they've thrown in a few lamps, a sofa and an armchair, as well as some kind of Oriental religious statue (!), but it doesn't exactly look inhabited. For one thing, the bookshelf is empty. For another, the white curtains everywhere look like the cheapest thing they could throw together in such a short time to somehow dress it as a "home".
-He releases a white dove from a balcony. I've seen this before in a British parody show, so it must be some British 80's video that had this scene, but I don't think I've seen it myself.
-He looks at the picture of his (ex?) girlfriend, a picture set against a white background, with a really ridiculous portrait of a woman laughing with her mouth open, wearing the exact same clothes she wears in a scene where they fight. There's something so obviously fake about that photo, and it cracks me up that it's the only object in the empty bookshelf.
-David's singing is totally different from the Freelove Freeway stuff - raspy, throaty stuff that doesn't sound anything like his real voice. He's obviously straining to sound really masculine, and it just comes out as ridiculous. Extra points for slouching in an armchair and looking sadly at the statue. He's also wearing all white. And he's barefoot, which looks ridiculous in this setting. You know, if it resembled a modern apartment in any way, maybe it'd look natural, but now? Bwah!
-I love how it says "Courtesy Juxtaposition Records", as if that's even a real record company with real copyright claims. All they need is David's permission.
The song is a very typical lame ballad of the boyband variety. David himself sings the harmonies, of course. It's not as preposterous as the songs he sang in Training Day, but it has some pretty bad lines: "Girl, I know the difference / between right and wrong / I ain't gonna do nothing / to break up our happy home /Oh don't get so excited /I get home a little late at night / cos we always act like children / when we argue for some fight." The point of the song seems to be that she was wrong and he was right, and she shouldn't make such a fuss about stuff. Yeah, sounds like David alright. "I aint' gonna do nothing"? Hee.
I'm trying to figure out what Juxtaposition Records is a reference to - the juxtaposition of David and Gareth's new status? But no, that's more like a reversal. The juxtaposition between David's old life of small-scale success and his new life of failure?
The song cuts off abruptly and we move to the office, where Oliver is working at his desk. Cut to Neil, who hasn't changed one bit, coming in and talking to the new receptionist whose name escapes me and I'm too lazy to check. I keep thinking Pam, but that must be from the American Office. David's advanced to Oliver's desk and is keeping up a rather tedious monologue about how "white middle-class fuddy-duddies" - hee! - are looking in the wrong place: "Dr Dre, Ice-T - they're the equivalent of Wordsworth!" OK, that argument isn't actually as lame as it sounds, and I know it's been said by people smarter than David. Rap lyrics can be brilliant. The real joke is, of course, that David still hasn't gotten over his embarrassment over the racist joke thing, and he has to prove to Oliver that he's cool with the black peeps, yo.
Neil shows up, asking David cordially how he's doing. David seems to see this as some kind of insult, as he starts to list what he's doing: working hard and doing "celebrity appearances, 500 quid a time, so...I think I'm doing alright." He giggles again, because he hates Neil. Then he asks how Neil is doing, as if he cares, and he makes a face at the employees when Neil says he's OK. So rude and, really, weird if you didn't know their personal history. Neil, obviously peeved, asks if he's keeping the employees from their work. Oliver is thinking, "YES! Please ask him to leave, pleease!" but since he's off camera, I have no way of verifying that. "No, it's a morale boost. They're loving it, look at their faces!" David says and giggles childishly. The camera pans to show us Keith's blank, slightly puzzled stare and Sheila looking at David blankly, perhaps even a bit annoyed. "I can see that. Don't overexcite them," says Neil sarcastically and leaves. He's a bit of a prick to David in the final scenes, but he's trying to be nice here, and seems genuinely dejected that David still acts like such a jerk to him.
After Neil leaves, David acts like asking how he's doing was so rude: "He knows bloody well how I'm doing! .. I'm lucky." He giggles tensely and Oliver turns away from him. How is David lucky, in any meaning of the word? I guess he means he's a celebrity now and Neil's just a lowly executive, even if it's obvious he doesn't really think that.
A car, I want to say paused because I keep pausing my DVD, parked next to the highway. Inside, David's eating a store-bought sandwich. The interviewer, who's on the backseat, asks him, "Do you resent Neil?" David asks, "The man or the boss?" in a voice that I'm sure he thinks sounds very masculine and deep, even if the question is idiotic - he doesn't even know Neil the man that well, and Neil isn't his boss anymore. "Either," says the interviewer, obviously realizing the question is just evading the point. "Neither. Next," says David and looks over his shoulder as if it's a brilliant comeback to an attacking question. The next question is whether David misses the office environment. "I am in the office environment. If you have a mobile phone" - he takes his phone and shows it to the interviewer without looking at her, holding it at the end of his fingers, thus making it look both like a massive effort and like he's very patient to correct her false, silly assumption that an office environment takes an actual office - "you're in the office environment." Uh, OK. I guess all teenagers are in the office then, and even at home you're in the office if you have a mobile phone. Nevermind that many people don't even have any other phone anymore, it's strictly business with mobiles. Duly noted.
He tells us an example, how he could be "going 70 miles an hour plus..." Then he remembers he's on TV and corrects to the camera: "70 miles an hour tops," which makes it really obvious. Of course he was bragging about driving really fast and talking on the phone because he's that kinda guy. Except when the cops are around. "And I can pull over safely," he continues to lie and claims he could call his secretary - who must be fictional and whose name is Paula - and ask her to fax important papers. What important papers? He sells cleaning equipment! The interviewer, obviously a smart lady, asks him if he has a fax machine in the car. He backpedals that he could find a fax machine and call her, saying, "I'm in the Ramada Inn, Reading, look it up." Not really the same thing, is it David? The interviewer doesn't point that out as David mumbles some words, plays with his tie and then grabs the sandwich again. He takes a big bite, apparently just to stop himself from putting his foot in his mouth again. After all, sandwiches taste better than feet.
We move back to David and Gareth. David is sitting in the chair where Gareth used to sit, and Gareth is in David's place. The camera is closer to David, and he's talking to it as if he's the host of the show. As he always imagined himself to be, I'm sure. David says that there's been a change of title. Gareth isn't called General Manager; "I was sort of omnipotent, this is a much more watered down version." Omnipotent? How many omnipotent people get fired? Hee. But wait a minute - was David general manager? Wasn't he regional manager to Gareth's assistant regional manager?
Gareth says it was because of David who sued Wernham Hogg for being fired. Sued them. For being fired because of incompetence. I'd love to hear what he used as an excuse. Discrimination based on his looks? No, that won't do since he is actually not good-looking. Maybe he sued them because he got fired for being a man. Or being white. Well, he doesn't say what his case was based on, but he does smugly note that he won, and I do think GervaisMerchant are making commentary on modern law suits. Either way, David got a settlement. "Wasted most of it though," Gareth says. "Tell them what you spent it on." What an idiot. Maybe David puts up with this bullshit because he knows Gareth has a right to ask him to leave and/or bar him from the office, and he couldn't take that.
"I released my own single," David says. Interestingly, he didn't bring this up before, so obviously he thinks it's a big flop. David wouldn't not bring up a success if he ever had one, remembering how he blew up the whole motivational speech thing. But when Gareth laughs and says he "didn't even get into the top 100", David immediately hits him back with a "Good! Didn't wanted to! Next!" He should really come up with a new way of dealing with disappointment. It's a bit obvious. The interviewer asks how much it cost. David fuddles that he had to pay for everything - the studio time, the printing costs - but pressed on it, he admits it came to 42,000 pounds. Gareth, off camera, giggles and David glances at him, looking concerned. He's quick to add that that's not counting the money he made when he sold the single, one pound for every single, because "I've got my own record label, Juxtaposition Records" - pregnant pause and look at the camera to let it sink in. Hee! I'm sure it's a very successful record label, with lots of prominent artists.
He hopes it would end there, on a high note, but no such luck as the interviewer asks him how many he sold. He mumbles something incoherent while touching up his tie. "Excuse me?" "One hundred and fifty," David says clearly. So he made 150 pounds. And he lost - 42,000 pounds. Maybe he should have made a demo and offered it to a record company instead? Gareth meanly points out that he only sold it to friends and family, who bought it to support him, and he bought five himself. "You bought them for your mates," says David. "They're still in the garage," says Gareth. Now, on camera, he'll admit that just to make David look bad. So low. David doesn't know how to react to it while still saving face, so he makes a face that looks amused or belittling, "Whatever." Poor David.
We cut to the video, which is brilliant. It's a good parody of the bland ballad genre in that it could be from a real, albeit cheap and lame, music video. It's subtle and if I saw it on a music channel without knowing David Brent, I probably wouldn't think it's a parody. With a closer look, however, it's difficult to take it seriously. It's difficult to recap a music video, but a few pointers:
-It's obviously shot in some kind of abandoned factory or other huge stone building that doesn't look anything like a modern apartment. Sure, they've thrown in a few lamps, a sofa and an armchair, as well as some kind of Oriental religious statue (!), but it doesn't exactly look inhabited. For one thing, the bookshelf is empty. For another, the white curtains everywhere look like the cheapest thing they could throw together in such a short time to somehow dress it as a "home".
-He releases a white dove from a balcony. I've seen this before in a British parody show, so it must be some British 80's video that had this scene, but I don't think I've seen it myself.
-He looks at the picture of his (ex?) girlfriend, a picture set against a white background, with a really ridiculous portrait of a woman laughing with her mouth open, wearing the exact same clothes she wears in a scene where they fight. There's something so obviously fake about that photo, and it cracks me up that it's the only object in the empty bookshelf.
-David's singing is totally different from the Freelove Freeway stuff - raspy, throaty stuff that doesn't sound anything like his real voice. He's obviously straining to sound really masculine, and it just comes out as ridiculous. Extra points for slouching in an armchair and looking sadly at the statue. He's also wearing all white. And he's barefoot, which looks ridiculous in this setting. You know, if it resembled a modern apartment in any way, maybe it'd look natural, but now? Bwah!
-I love how it says "Courtesy Juxtaposition Records", as if that's even a real record company with real copyright claims. All they need is David's permission.
The song is a very typical lame ballad of the boyband variety. David himself sings the harmonies, of course. It's not as preposterous as the songs he sang in Training Day, but it has some pretty bad lines: "Girl, I know the difference / between right and wrong / I ain't gonna do nothing / to break up our happy home /Oh don't get so excited /I get home a little late at night / cos we always act like children / when we argue for some fight." The point of the song seems to be that she was wrong and he was right, and she shouldn't make such a fuss about stuff. Yeah, sounds like David alright. "I aint' gonna do nothing"? Hee.
I'm trying to figure out what Juxtaposition Records is a reference to - the juxtaposition of David and Gareth's new status? But no, that's more like a reversal. The juxtaposition between David's old life of small-scale success and his new life of failure?
The song cuts off abruptly and we move to the office, where Oliver is working at his desk. Cut to Neil, who hasn't changed one bit, coming in and talking to the new receptionist whose name escapes me and I'm too lazy to check. I keep thinking Pam, but that must be from the American Office. David's advanced to Oliver's desk and is keeping up a rather tedious monologue about how "white middle-class fuddy-duddies" - hee! - are looking in the wrong place: "Dr Dre, Ice-T - they're the equivalent of Wordsworth!" OK, that argument isn't actually as lame as it sounds, and I know it's been said by people smarter than David. Rap lyrics can be brilliant. The real joke is, of course, that David still hasn't gotten over his embarrassment over the racist joke thing, and he has to prove to Oliver that he's cool with the black peeps, yo.
Neil shows up, asking David cordially how he's doing. David seems to see this as some kind of insult, as he starts to list what he's doing: working hard and doing "celebrity appearances, 500 quid a time, so...I think I'm doing alright." He giggles again, because he hates Neil. Then he asks how Neil is doing, as if he cares, and he makes a face at the employees when Neil says he's OK. So rude and, really, weird if you didn't know their personal history. Neil, obviously peeved, asks if he's keeping the employees from their work. Oliver is thinking, "YES! Please ask him to leave, pleease!" but since he's off camera, I have no way of verifying that. "No, it's a morale boost. They're loving it, look at their faces!" David says and giggles childishly. The camera pans to show us Keith's blank, slightly puzzled stare and Sheila looking at David blankly, perhaps even a bit annoyed. "I can see that. Don't overexcite them," says Neil sarcastically and leaves. He's a bit of a prick to David in the final scenes, but he's trying to be nice here, and seems genuinely dejected that David still acts like such a jerk to him.
After Neil leaves, David acts like asking how he's doing was so rude: "He knows bloody well how I'm doing! .. I'm lucky." He giggles tensely and Oliver turns away from him. How is David lucky, in any meaning of the word? I guess he means he's a celebrity now and Neil's just a lowly executive, even if it's obvious he doesn't really think that.
A car, I want to say paused because I keep pausing my DVD, parked next to the highway. Inside, David's eating a store-bought sandwich. The interviewer, who's on the backseat, asks him, "Do you resent Neil?" David asks, "The man or the boss?" in a voice that I'm sure he thinks sounds very masculine and deep, even if the question is idiotic - he doesn't even know Neil the man that well, and Neil isn't his boss anymore. "Either," says the interviewer, obviously realizing the question is just evading the point. "Neither. Next," says David and looks over his shoulder as if it's a brilliant comeback to an attacking question. The next question is whether David misses the office environment. "I am in the office environment. If you have a mobile phone" - he takes his phone and shows it to the interviewer without looking at her, holding it at the end of his fingers, thus making it look both like a massive effort and like he's very patient to correct her false, silly assumption that an office environment takes an actual office - "you're in the office environment." Uh, OK. I guess all teenagers are in the office then, and even at home you're in the office if you have a mobile phone. Nevermind that many people don't even have any other phone anymore, it's strictly business with mobiles. Duly noted.
He tells us an example, how he could be "going 70 miles an hour plus..." Then he remembers he's on TV and corrects to the camera: "70 miles an hour tops," which makes it really obvious. Of course he was bragging about driving really fast and talking on the phone because he's that kinda guy. Except when the cops are around. "And I can pull over safely," he continues to lie and claims he could call his secretary - who must be fictional and whose name is Paula - and ask her to fax important papers. What important papers? He sells cleaning equipment! The interviewer, obviously a smart lady, asks him if he has a fax machine in the car. He backpedals that he could find a fax machine and call her, saying, "I'm in the Ramada Inn, Reading, look it up." Not really the same thing, is it David? The interviewer doesn't point that out as David mumbles some words, plays with his tie and then grabs the sandwich again. He takes a big bite, apparently just to stop himself from putting his foot in his mouth again. After all, sandwiches taste better than feet.
Christmas Special, part 4: "Florida"
OK, as usual, I hate the Tim and Dawn stuff, and there's a lot of it in this episode, so I'll just try to not rant too much. This is a very short chapter and I'm going to make a very short commentary on it.
We cut to Florida, outside a big house, next to a swimming pool. Dawn is looking pretty and taking care of a little baby. This is a bit of a trick form GervaisMerchant, I believe, because at a first glance, I thought the baby was hers. The time passed is long enough for Dawn to have given birth, even if it's a little unlikely that she'd do it in Florida. If Dawn and Lee had had a baby, this might make the Tim and Dawn love story impossible at least for many years to come, and Tim would be a home wrecker. But of course this isn't the case, as she'll soon let us know. The baby wriggles in Dawn's arms as she explains that they were supposed to go home after 90 days, but they're "taking an extended holiday". She does check first if this is going out in the US, so we get a genuine documentary feel. I wouldn't say anything incriminating on camera, because people do share files over the internet and rip TV shows, so there's no knowing what the US authorities are going to see.
Dawn says Lee's doing gardening for money and she's taking care of baby Ryan, "this is Jackie's baby." An interviewer asks off camera who Jackie is. "Jackie is Lee's sister, and Gary is her husband. This is their place." It's a cute touch, since the interviewer didn't ask who Gary is, and Dawn didn't mention Gary before, so it's unnecessary to mention that, but it's likely that she would in that situation, because she introduced Jackie's son and Jackie, so she's rounding up the whole family. Ryan is cute and seems about six months old, so he was probably born during their stay. Lee, who at first looked to be sleeping in the sun, tells the camera that they're not paying rent, so they can use all the money they make on themselves. Probably they're not paying taxes either.
Lee says that their situation is "almost as good as Slough." "Definitely," says Dawn, but you can tell she's lying as she soothes baby Ryan. She doesn't seem happy at all; Lee gets to lay about as she takes care of the baby, and this is probably what Lee had planned for the rest of their lives. Also, I'm not sure if I'd let my brother and his fiancé stay at my place rent-free for years on end. It sounds like an uncomfortable arrangement. I'm not surprised she expects them to take care of her son as a kind of rent.
Timterview. Sadly, it's about Dawn. Tim is embarrassed about the last episode where he told her about his feelings, and backpedals now that he misinterpreted things and they're just good friends. For once, there's really nothing quotable or interesting about a Timterview. He makes sure to say that no damage is done and Lee is OK with him. It's pretty obvious that he doesn't feel OK about it, which is why I think they should have left this bit out. It's just rehashing what Tim has already said before. Moving on.
We cut to Florida, outside a big house, next to a swimming pool. Dawn is looking pretty and taking care of a little baby. This is a bit of a trick form GervaisMerchant, I believe, because at a first glance, I thought the baby was hers. The time passed is long enough for Dawn to have given birth, even if it's a little unlikely that she'd do it in Florida. If Dawn and Lee had had a baby, this might make the Tim and Dawn love story impossible at least for many years to come, and Tim would be a home wrecker. But of course this isn't the case, as she'll soon let us know. The baby wriggles in Dawn's arms as she explains that they were supposed to go home after 90 days, but they're "taking an extended holiday". She does check first if this is going out in the US, so we get a genuine documentary feel. I wouldn't say anything incriminating on camera, because people do share files over the internet and rip TV shows, so there's no knowing what the US authorities are going to see.
Dawn says Lee's doing gardening for money and she's taking care of baby Ryan, "this is Jackie's baby." An interviewer asks off camera who Jackie is. "Jackie is Lee's sister, and Gary is her husband. This is their place." It's a cute touch, since the interviewer didn't ask who Gary is, and Dawn didn't mention Gary before, so it's unnecessary to mention that, but it's likely that she would in that situation, because she introduced Jackie's son and Jackie, so she's rounding up the whole family. Ryan is cute and seems about six months old, so he was probably born during their stay. Lee, who at first looked to be sleeping in the sun, tells the camera that they're not paying rent, so they can use all the money they make on themselves. Probably they're not paying taxes either.
Lee says that their situation is "almost as good as Slough." "Definitely," says Dawn, but you can tell she's lying as she soothes baby Ryan. She doesn't seem happy at all; Lee gets to lay about as she takes care of the baby, and this is probably what Lee had planned for the rest of their lives. Also, I'm not sure if I'd let my brother and his fiancé stay at my place rent-free for years on end. It sounds like an uncomfortable arrangement. I'm not surprised she expects them to take care of her son as a kind of rent.
Timterview. Sadly, it's about Dawn. Tim is embarrassed about the last episode where he told her about his feelings, and backpedals now that he misinterpreted things and they're just good friends. For once, there's really nothing quotable or interesting about a Timterview. He makes sure to say that no damage is done and Lee is OK with him. It's pretty obvious that he doesn't feel OK about it, which is why I think they should have left this bit out. It's just rehashing what Tim has already said before. Moving on.
Monday, October 8, 2007
Christmas Specials, part 3: "Back Again"
The office, where life goes on as always - the same employees, the same desks, the same jobs, somewhat newer computers. Still no flat screens though. There are a few thin magazines scattered on the table next to the sofa. They look like old, worn out issues. What a dead environment.
Mel the new receptionist is staring ahead in an i-hate-my-job daze. Then the camera moves behind David "Once the boss, always the boss, no matter what they say" Brent, as he walks into his old office. "Back again," he says to the camera. He stops at Mel's desk, formerly known as Dawn's desk. "A new Dawn," he says, pointing at Mel. "She looks a bit... A younger model though." She doesn't look that much like Dawn, they just have the same color of hair. Shows how much David cared about Dawn. "I'm not a model," Mel says. Eh. "Not as bright as Dawn," David mutters under his breath. As usual, he seems to think he can say things to the camera that he doesn't want others to hear.
David goes over to Tim, who doesn't look all too excited to see him. He forces a chuckle and slaps David's hand, because David wants him to. "Timbo! Timbeer!" David mugs for the camera. The extras contain many takes of this one as Ricky Gervais kept improvising to make Martin Freeman crack up. My favorite was "Bishop Musharewa!" that somehow came from Tim Canterbury -> Archbishop of Canterbury. I love how his mind works, but wouldn't like to work with him.
David asks how things are going, and Tim has no response except "Same old", because his life is at a point where nothing new ever happens. David tries to show how he still knows the biz by looking at Tim's screen (rude!), and noting there's a familiar name. "Remember what I told you about Trevor? You can tell when he's lying. His lips move!" David grins at the camera as if this is a completely original joke - he comes up with his own material, wank you very much! - and Tim courtesy-laughs. David ruffles Tim's hair as if he's five and walks on towards his old office. Tim gives the camera the cutest eyebrow lift/smile that seems to say "that guy's a jerk but he thinks we're friends and I'm not going to show my true feelings as long as the camera is on me". He'd be great in a kids' show. That expression is adorable. Off-camera, David hollers, "Keenan in?" but he goes in anyway, so Tim just goes, "Huh?" and turns back to his desk.
David sits in his old chair as if he owns the place, and looks into the desktop drawers. I italize that because that is one big no-no in my book. Do not look into other people's drawers. It's an invasion of privacy. But of course, David thinks the room is still his. He triumphantly picks up a stamper and says, "Well, I bought that! From Hartford's." Yeah, that really stamps it as your room. That's when Gareth comes in. They engage in this awesome dialogue that shows their relationship change over the years. Gareth ranks higher now and shows it.
David: "Here he is! The feller who nicked me job!"
Gareth: "Didn't nick it."
David: "Nah. I didn't want it anymore."
Gareth: "Yeah, you did, you begged for it back!"
David: "No I didn't, shut up! Dunno what you're talking about. "
Gareth: "He's here more often now that he doesn't work here than he was when he did work here."
David: "Haha, exaggerating."
It's so clear from this bit of dialogue that their pecking order is now different. Gareth seems to have gained more confidence, even if he seems to use it to put David down. It's like he used to be bullied, now he's got power and he's the bully, which shows what kind of person he really is. David tries to pretend that he's just kidding, but you can tell who's got the upper hand. David claims he only came in because of the viewers. Gareth says, half-jokingly, "Bit disruptive..." David, turning up his grin a notch because he's getting offended, says, "It's not disruptive! It's good for them" - pointing at the camera - "so it's good for the company, so it should be good for you." Gareth, feeling so embarrassed that he can't even look at David, chuckles uneasily: "Always nice to see you..." What does it tell you if he's looking down and says it for the second time? Gareth repeats to the camera that David is there "an awful lot", interesting choice of words. David claims that he's still welcome there, and Gareth suggests that he call them first. "I'm not gonna call ahead, you're not a doctor! When you're a doctor I'll make an appointment," David says and laughs even if that makes absolutely no sense, and it's obvious that he's making desperate jokes to make it all appear jovial, when in fact Gareth is telling him that he's not all that welcome here anymore. Gareth laughs politely and admits he's not a doctor. David, who always takes the joke too far, says, "Six years of medical training - he's got one O level." I suppose that's like the British SAT's? Gareth jokes that he'll lock the door, but David says, "I'll still get in, you'll see", and giggles desperately. To make it even more awkward, Gareth repeats the part about calling ahead, and David again refuses.
Gareth says he only has ten minutes for David and that he's busy, but David refuses to believe him. "I know how many hours you do a week! He seems to forget that," he says to the camera. Well, since his idea of work is basically talking to the employees about anything (and usually not paper), or sitting in his office writing "poems" and game show ideas, it's understandable that he thinks so. On the other hand, he could just be desperate and purposely keep missing Gareth's not entirely subtle ways of brushing him off. He giggles some more and waves his arm at Gareth as if he's trying to hit him, and Gareth makes a bit of a flinch, which shows he's nervous about David's reaction. Then he repeats, once again, that David should call ahead. "I'm not gonna call ahead!" David says, now angrily. It's a reasonable request, and it's really jerkwardly to not comply. I still feel sorry for him though. He's an idiot, but he suffers for it himself.
Gareth interview. He says he learned from David and the mistakes he made: "He used humor, where I use discipline. And I learned that nobody respected him." It's true, but nobody respects Gareth either, and I have a feeling they hate him even more than they did David, because he's a pedantic blowhard, as we will soon see. He wouldn't be Gareth if his mind didn't immediately jump to war. He says you can't use humor there, because men will not follow you if you say, " 'Come with me lads, I'll tell you a joke.' " Hee. Maybe you should tell the joke instead of promising to tell it. Actually, in a war situation, humor might be a lifesaver (well, not literally) to many soldiers. Hasn't he ever seen Good Morning, Vietnam? "It's a direct order: 'Come. With. Me.' And they'll go, 'Yes, he has leadership skills, let's all follow him to our certain deaths.' "
Heee. I love how he assumes that direct orders make people basically want to die. His naïve wide-eyed stare at the camera is even more amusing when you pause there. I do wonder what Gareth would do in an actual war situation. "And also, if you're laughing in the jungle, you give away your position to the enemy," he adds as if that's necessary to know in an office setting. He really provides vital insights to why David got fired.
Tim sits at his computer, and Anne the annoyance sits at hers. She holds up a piece of paper to Tim, while working at her computer still, and asks if he wants her to send it. Tim says yes, looking baffled. "Do you want me to send it as it is? It's got your signature and everything." Tim says it's alright. Anne says sure it is, "cos it is 2002." Ugh. We've probably all worked with someone like this (personally I remember studying with someone who enjoyed correcting any mistakes I made in pair work at language class), and it's just the rudest, most obnoxious way of pointing out a mistake. I'd almost ask what Anne has against Tim, but she's just being Anne - she doesn't give a shit about anyone but herself, her son and her husband. Tim sheepishly apologizes and promises to fix it. I wish he stood up for himself a little more. I do like his character, but I'd like him better with a little more backbone. Not that I'd do any differently in that situation though, so I should just commend the scene's realism. In the end, maybe I'd like Tim less if he were rude back. It's funny how we're wired to always dream of a revenge and hate ourselves when we actually get it. And also hate characters who get their revenge, because that makes them the bad guys. OK, that's enough philosophy for one paragraph.
Tim, looking years older, asks Anne if she wouldn't like it better over there with the number bods. She says she needs her space, and couldn't breathe there. "That Big Keith, he's grotesque, isn't he?" Ah - are the writers saying that people who criticize fat people for taking up space are asses? Could they be? I love them even more if they are. Anne babbles about how she needs space, obviously without getting the hint that Tim doesn't like her. Tim stares ahead with empty eyes. And we cut to who she's probably thinking of, but that's in another chapter.
Mel the new receptionist is staring ahead in an i-hate-my-job daze. Then the camera moves behind David "Once the boss, always the boss, no matter what they say" Brent, as he walks into his old office. "Back again," he says to the camera. He stops at Mel's desk, formerly known as Dawn's desk. "A new Dawn," he says, pointing at Mel. "She looks a bit... A younger model though." She doesn't look that much like Dawn, they just have the same color of hair. Shows how much David cared about Dawn. "I'm not a model," Mel says. Eh. "Not as bright as Dawn," David mutters under his breath. As usual, he seems to think he can say things to the camera that he doesn't want others to hear.
David goes over to Tim, who doesn't look all too excited to see him. He forces a chuckle and slaps David's hand, because David wants him to. "Timbo! Timbeer!" David mugs for the camera. The extras contain many takes of this one as Ricky Gervais kept improvising to make Martin Freeman crack up. My favorite was "Bishop Musharewa!" that somehow came from Tim Canterbury -> Archbishop of Canterbury. I love how his mind works, but wouldn't like to work with him.
David asks how things are going, and Tim has no response except "Same old", because his life is at a point where nothing new ever happens. David tries to show how he still knows the biz by looking at Tim's screen (rude!), and noting there's a familiar name. "Remember what I told you about Trevor? You can tell when he's lying. His lips move!" David grins at the camera as if this is a completely original joke - he comes up with his own material, wank you very much! - and Tim courtesy-laughs. David ruffles Tim's hair as if he's five and walks on towards his old office. Tim gives the camera the cutest eyebrow lift/smile that seems to say "that guy's a jerk but he thinks we're friends and I'm not going to show my true feelings as long as the camera is on me". He'd be great in a kids' show. That expression is adorable. Off-camera, David hollers, "Keenan in?" but he goes in anyway, so Tim just goes, "Huh?" and turns back to his desk.
David sits in his old chair as if he owns the place, and looks into the desktop drawers. I italize that because that is one big no-no in my book. Do not look into other people's drawers. It's an invasion of privacy. But of course, David thinks the room is still his. He triumphantly picks up a stamper and says, "Well, I bought that! From Hartford's." Yeah, that really stamps it as your room. That's when Gareth comes in. They engage in this awesome dialogue that shows their relationship change over the years. Gareth ranks higher now and shows it.
David: "Here he is! The feller who nicked me job!"
Gareth: "Didn't nick it."
David: "Nah. I didn't want it anymore."
Gareth: "Yeah, you did, you begged for it back!"
David: "No I didn't, shut up! Dunno what you're talking about. "
Gareth: "He's here more often now that he doesn't work here than he was when he did work here."
David: "Haha, exaggerating."
It's so clear from this bit of dialogue that their pecking order is now different. Gareth seems to have gained more confidence, even if he seems to use it to put David down. It's like he used to be bullied, now he's got power and he's the bully, which shows what kind of person he really is. David tries to pretend that he's just kidding, but you can tell who's got the upper hand. David claims he only came in because of the viewers. Gareth says, half-jokingly, "Bit disruptive..." David, turning up his grin a notch because he's getting offended, says, "It's not disruptive! It's good for them" - pointing at the camera - "so it's good for the company, so it should be good for you." Gareth, feeling so embarrassed that he can't even look at David, chuckles uneasily: "Always nice to see you..." What does it tell you if he's looking down and says it for the second time? Gareth repeats to the camera that David is there "an awful lot", interesting choice of words. David claims that he's still welcome there, and Gareth suggests that he call them first. "I'm not gonna call ahead, you're not a doctor! When you're a doctor I'll make an appointment," David says and laughs even if that makes absolutely no sense, and it's obvious that he's making desperate jokes to make it all appear jovial, when in fact Gareth is telling him that he's not all that welcome here anymore. Gareth laughs politely and admits he's not a doctor. David, who always takes the joke too far, says, "Six years of medical training - he's got one O level." I suppose that's like the British SAT's? Gareth jokes that he'll lock the door, but David says, "I'll still get in, you'll see", and giggles desperately. To make it even more awkward, Gareth repeats the part about calling ahead, and David again refuses.
Gareth says he only has ten minutes for David and that he's busy, but David refuses to believe him. "I know how many hours you do a week! He seems to forget that," he says to the camera. Well, since his idea of work is basically talking to the employees about anything (and usually not paper), or sitting in his office writing "poems" and game show ideas, it's understandable that he thinks so. On the other hand, he could just be desperate and purposely keep missing Gareth's not entirely subtle ways of brushing him off. He giggles some more and waves his arm at Gareth as if he's trying to hit him, and Gareth makes a bit of a flinch, which shows he's nervous about David's reaction. Then he repeats, once again, that David should call ahead. "I'm not gonna call ahead!" David says, now angrily. It's a reasonable request, and it's really jerkwardly to not comply. I still feel sorry for him though. He's an idiot, but he suffers for it himself.
Gareth interview. He says he learned from David and the mistakes he made: "He used humor, where I use discipline. And I learned that nobody respected him." It's true, but nobody respects Gareth either, and I have a feeling they hate him even more than they did David, because he's a pedantic blowhard, as we will soon see. He wouldn't be Gareth if his mind didn't immediately jump to war. He says you can't use humor there, because men will not follow you if you say, " 'Come with me lads, I'll tell you a joke.' " Hee. Maybe you should tell the joke instead of promising to tell it. Actually, in a war situation, humor might be a lifesaver (well, not literally) to many soldiers. Hasn't he ever seen Good Morning, Vietnam? "It's a direct order: 'Come. With. Me.' And they'll go, 'Yes, he has leadership skills, let's all follow him to our certain deaths.' "
Heee. I love how he assumes that direct orders make people basically want to die. His naïve wide-eyed stare at the camera is even more amusing when you pause there. I do wonder what Gareth would do in an actual war situation. "And also, if you're laughing in the jungle, you give away your position to the enemy," he adds as if that's necessary to know in an office setting. He really provides vital insights to why David got fired.
Tim sits at his computer, and Anne the annoyance sits at hers. She holds up a piece of paper to Tim, while working at her computer still, and asks if he wants her to send it. Tim says yes, looking baffled. "Do you want me to send it as it is? It's got your signature and everything." Tim says it's alright. Anne says sure it is, "cos it is 2002." Ugh. We've probably all worked with someone like this (personally I remember studying with someone who enjoyed correcting any mistakes I made in pair work at language class), and it's just the rudest, most obnoxious way of pointing out a mistake. I'd almost ask what Anne has against Tim, but she's just being Anne - she doesn't give a shit about anyone but herself, her son and her husband. Tim sheepishly apologizes and promises to fix it. I wish he stood up for himself a little more. I do like his character, but I'd like him better with a little more backbone. Not that I'd do any differently in that situation though, so I should just commend the scene's realism. In the end, maybe I'd like Tim less if he were rude back. It's funny how we're wired to always dream of a revenge and hate ourselves when we actually get it. And also hate characters who get their revenge, because that makes them the bad guys. OK, that's enough philosophy for one paragraph.
Tim, looking years older, asks Anne if she wouldn't like it better over there with the number bods. She says she needs her space, and couldn't breathe there. "That Big Keith, he's grotesque, isn't he?" Ah - are the writers saying that people who criticize fat people for taking up space are asses? Could they be? I love them even more if they are. Anne babbles about how she needs space, obviously without getting the hint that Tim doesn't like her. Tim stares ahead with empty eyes. And we cut to who she's probably thinking of, but that's in another chapter.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Christmas Specials, part 2: "Are You Famous?"
"Friars' Stile Fruit & Veg" - a very British thing, a separate fresh produce store. Inside, David Brent tries to be funny with a little Monty Python reference: "Caught me in me local fruit and veg.. emporium..." He stops to let the laughing stop, which is stupid because there is no laugh track, and even if there were, no one would laugh. He always acts like he's giving a really amusing speech. An off-camera interviewer, who actually sounds like Maggie from Extras, asks if he comes here a lot. "Big time," David claims. "Need to stay healthy when you're on the road, can't take any chances." That's probably why he drinks so much in the hotel and eats at roadside diners.
He admits that he doesn't like any fruit except bananas, "Ain't it Paul?" he asks the sales clerk, a middle-aged guy who's dressed casually. "Yeah, and we all know what you do with them when you get them home, eh?" says Paul and makes an inappropriate gesture. David is, as always, ready to laugh at childish sex jokes, no matter how lame. He also has to explain to the camera: "Shove 'em up me a..." He stops there, but he also does a 'fist on his butt' gesture, so it's pretty disturbing. "Gay. I'm not, he knows I'm not, he's just... Although... Paul, fruit is very versatile, innit?" He says and takes half a cucumber. He puts it over his crotch area. That's genius! Nobody ever thought of that before! And I mean, cucumber is a fruit, so good thinking there. He laughs so loud that you know half of it is just mugging to the camera. "You feeling cold, David?" asks Paul. He's holding a really long cucumber and two oranges under it. "Mine's shriveled," laughs David. Yes, we get it. I'm so glad I don't have any cucumbers at home. I do have bananas, though, so maybe I'm not eating fruit tonight.
Typically for him, David decides that everyone watching, both at home and in the store, must find this all hilarious. "He thinks we're mad," David says and points at a guy off-camera. The camera turns to reveal - Renton from the Microsoft bits! Yay, Renton! There's a good naturalistic actor, he really nails this minimalist style of talking. Now quite as minimimalist as Keith, but it's close. I don't think I've seen him smile more than once. He's just standing there and looking clueless, especially in this scene. And as usual, he doesn't seem very impressed with David's "humor". I know his name on this show is David, but how can I distinguish between them if I call him that? Let's see.
David Brent starts talking to David "Renton", prompting him to ask if they know each other. "We're just doing a follow-up...," says David "The Boss" Brent, thinking that alone is enough. Because everybody saw him on TV, you see. He was on it, so it must have been the most successful show ever. Understandably, David Lite doesn't know what show he's from even after he points out it's a documentary. "Come on," David "If You Don't Know Me By Now" Brent says, grinning and pointing at his face. "Are you that fat one from The Airport?" asks Diet David. Hee, so rude. "That fat one", maybe he could at least use the guy's name. "Obviously not," says David Original irritably, though probably more offended by the assumption that he's from some other show than by the use of "fat". "Wernham Hogg," he says, as if that was the name of the show.
David 2.0 asks what the show was about, and Big David's response is telling: "About me, following me around at work." See, it was all about him, not the typical British office or the other employees. It was David Show. "At the airport?" asks Little David. Hee, he's as smart as his namesake. "Forget the airport!" David "The David Brent Show, Starring David Brent" Brent says, annoyed. Hee. "Are you famous?" asks David "Knowing me David Brent, Knowing you another David, aha". "The penny's dropped," says David "Freelove Freeway" Brent, as if asking if he's famous means recognition. If you're famous, people don't need to ask. Taking his word for it, David Part 2 asks for an autograph. Wow, I don't think I'd be that interested in getting an autograph from someone I don't even recognize. The celebrity culture is indeed weird, as Ricky Gervais will tell you. David "I'm sick of thinking of names" Brent happens to have a pen at hand, and he scribbles an autograph to an empty paper bag, asking the guy's name. "Oh, from one David to another!" To his chagrin, he gets the response: "Is your name David?" "Oh for f... YES!" says David irritably and starts writing the autograph. "He knows who I am," he adds and looks at the guy, as if he's hoping that one more look would immediately ring a bell.
Outside the fruit and veg shop, the interviewer asks David if this thing happens often. "Getting recognized? Yeah. I mean, usually they know specifically who I am," says David. Well, that's what recognition usually means, David. You know what, I've typed "David" so many times that I think I'm going to have to call him something else for now. The pompous ego maniac tells the interviewer that sometimes people say stupid things. "What kind of things?" the interviewer asks, and D...Mr Brent dutifully tells her: "'You beardy twat', 'Pug-nosed gimp', 'Lard Boy'... I tell them, 'What have you ever done on TV? Nothing. So don't...' Absolutely flabulous...' " He turns to the camera with indignation, as if to say: "How could they?", certain that any viewers will side with him. I love how he stops to mention another rude name like that when you think he's already onto his own response. Typically for David, he thinks you can't criticize unless you've been on TV.
Tim sits at his desk, as we see who took over Gareth's seat. Must be an improvement, whoever it is, right? Nah - it's Anne the obnoxious, self-centered pregnant woman. In her first silent scene, she manages to make Tim uncomfortable by graphically adjusting her bra and making a "woop" noise as she fans her flushed face. I'd like to mention that her belly looks fairly realistic - it's average sized, uneven-shaped and doesn't look like she has a round tray under her shirt (compare her to, for instance, Bree on Desperate Housewives). Tim looks like he's in hell and getting too used to it to even complain anymore.
Back to David in the car. We get to observe him at his new job. As he picks up a suitcase and a small sample of cleaning equipment from the car, the interviewer asks him, "Are you a door-to-door salesman?" with some surprise in her voice. "No," David says with a little laugh. "I don't go cold-calling, trying to sell people clothespins and dusters...Well, I do sell dusters, but that's about five percent of what...we do..." Hee! Bad example. It's not that different from door-to-door sales, more like the corporate version: he sets up meetings and introduces cleaning products. We get to watch him in action as he introduces a shammy with a little too much energy, which might have to do with his embarrassment of doing this on camera. He's still wearing the same type of white-shirt-and-tie work costume, which seems a little much at this job. Basically I think he's trying to come off as an equal to the man sitting in the chair who runs a conference center. David rubs the wall with the shammy: "Nearly dry... I'm removing the stain job, not the paint job... There it is, that's dry, you can use that again," he says and throws the shammy on the desk a bit violently. Also, "stain job"?
The guy at the desk seems uncomfortable at David's discomfort, or perhaps the camera. He orders a dozen for a start. "Sold!" David says, "To that man in the..." He doesn't know where to go from there, as he rarely does. "Can I ask you something?" he says in obvious sales-pitch tone. "Who does your tampons?" He stares intently at the guy as we cut to next scene. Wow, from regional manager to "who does your tampons." Oh, how the mighty...well, mediocre... well, inferior and lucky to have a job at all... have fallen.
He admits that he doesn't like any fruit except bananas, "Ain't it Paul?" he asks the sales clerk, a middle-aged guy who's dressed casually. "Yeah, and we all know what you do with them when you get them home, eh?" says Paul and makes an inappropriate gesture. David is, as always, ready to laugh at childish sex jokes, no matter how lame. He also has to explain to the camera: "Shove 'em up me a..." He stops there, but he also does a 'fist on his butt' gesture, so it's pretty disturbing. "Gay. I'm not, he knows I'm not, he's just... Although... Paul, fruit is very versatile, innit?" He says and takes half a cucumber. He puts it over his crotch area. That's genius! Nobody ever thought of that before! And I mean, cucumber is a fruit, so good thinking there. He laughs so loud that you know half of it is just mugging to the camera. "You feeling cold, David?" asks Paul. He's holding a really long cucumber and two oranges under it. "Mine's shriveled," laughs David. Yes, we get it. I'm so glad I don't have any cucumbers at home. I do have bananas, though, so maybe I'm not eating fruit tonight.
Typically for him, David decides that everyone watching, both at home and in the store, must find this all hilarious. "He thinks we're mad," David says and points at a guy off-camera. The camera turns to reveal - Renton from the Microsoft bits! Yay, Renton! There's a good naturalistic actor, he really nails this minimalist style of talking. Now quite as minimimalist as Keith, but it's close. I don't think I've seen him smile more than once. He's just standing there and looking clueless, especially in this scene. And as usual, he doesn't seem very impressed with David's "humor". I know his name on this show is David, but how can I distinguish between them if I call him that? Let's see.
David Brent starts talking to David "Renton", prompting him to ask if they know each other. "We're just doing a follow-up...," says David "The Boss" Brent, thinking that alone is enough. Because everybody saw him on TV, you see. He was on it, so it must have been the most successful show ever. Understandably, David Lite doesn't know what show he's from even after he points out it's a documentary. "Come on," David "If You Don't Know Me By Now" Brent says, grinning and pointing at his face. "Are you that fat one from The Airport?" asks Diet David. Hee, so rude. "That fat one", maybe he could at least use the guy's name. "Obviously not," says David Original irritably, though probably more offended by the assumption that he's from some other show than by the use of "fat". "Wernham Hogg," he says, as if that was the name of the show.
David 2.0 asks what the show was about, and Big David's response is telling: "About me, following me around at work." See, it was all about him, not the typical British office or the other employees. It was David Show. "At the airport?" asks Little David. Hee, he's as smart as his namesake. "Forget the airport!" David "The David Brent Show, Starring David Brent" Brent says, annoyed. Hee. "Are you famous?" asks David "Knowing me David Brent, Knowing you another David, aha". "The penny's dropped," says David "Freelove Freeway" Brent, as if asking if he's famous means recognition. If you're famous, people don't need to ask. Taking his word for it, David Part 2 asks for an autograph. Wow, I don't think I'd be that interested in getting an autograph from someone I don't even recognize. The celebrity culture is indeed weird, as Ricky Gervais will tell you. David "I'm sick of thinking of names" Brent happens to have a pen at hand, and he scribbles an autograph to an empty paper bag, asking the guy's name. "Oh, from one David to another!" To his chagrin, he gets the response: "Is your name David?" "Oh for f... YES!" says David irritably and starts writing the autograph. "He knows who I am," he adds and looks at the guy, as if he's hoping that one more look would immediately ring a bell.
Outside the fruit and veg shop, the interviewer asks David if this thing happens often. "Getting recognized? Yeah. I mean, usually they know specifically who I am," says David. Well, that's what recognition usually means, David. You know what, I've typed "David" so many times that I think I'm going to have to call him something else for now. The pompous ego maniac tells the interviewer that sometimes people say stupid things. "What kind of things?" the interviewer asks, and D...Mr Brent dutifully tells her: "'You beardy twat', 'Pug-nosed gimp', 'Lard Boy'... I tell them, 'What have you ever done on TV? Nothing. So don't...' Absolutely flabulous...' " He turns to the camera with indignation, as if to say: "How could they?", certain that any viewers will side with him. I love how he stops to mention another rude name like that when you think he's already onto his own response. Typically for David, he thinks you can't criticize unless you've been on TV.
Tim sits at his desk, as we see who took over Gareth's seat. Must be an improvement, whoever it is, right? Nah - it's Anne the obnoxious, self-centered pregnant woman. In her first silent scene, she manages to make Tim uncomfortable by graphically adjusting her bra and making a "woop" noise as she fans her flushed face. I'd like to mention that her belly looks fairly realistic - it's average sized, uneven-shaped and doesn't look like she has a round tray under her shirt (compare her to, for instance, Bree on Desperate Housewives). Tim looks like he's in hell and getting too used to it to even complain anymore.
Back to David in the car. We get to observe him at his new job. As he picks up a suitcase and a small sample of cleaning equipment from the car, the interviewer asks him, "Are you a door-to-door salesman?" with some surprise in her voice. "No," David says with a little laugh. "I don't go cold-calling, trying to sell people clothespins and dusters...Well, I do sell dusters, but that's about five percent of what...we do..." Hee! Bad example. It's not that different from door-to-door sales, more like the corporate version: he sets up meetings and introduces cleaning products. We get to watch him in action as he introduces a shammy with a little too much energy, which might have to do with his embarrassment of doing this on camera. He's still wearing the same type of white-shirt-and-tie work costume, which seems a little much at this job. Basically I think he's trying to come off as an equal to the man sitting in the chair who runs a conference center. David rubs the wall with the shammy: "Nearly dry... I'm removing the stain job, not the paint job... There it is, that's dry, you can use that again," he says and throws the shammy on the desk a bit violently. Also, "stain job"?
The guy at the desk seems uncomfortable at David's discomfort, or perhaps the camera. He orders a dozen for a start. "Sold!" David says, "To that man in the..." He doesn't know where to go from there, as he rarely does. "Can I ask you something?" he says in obvious sales-pitch tone. "Who does your tampons?" He stares intently at the guy as we cut to next scene. Wow, from regional manager to "who does your tampons." Oh, how the mighty...well, mediocre... well, inferior and lucky to have a job at all... have fallen.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Christmas Special, part 1: "Stitch-Up"
For the only time in the history of the show, we begin with a black screen with text on it:
"In January 2001 a BBC documentary crew filmed the everyday goings on in a typical workplace. Now, nearly three years later, we return to find out what has happened to the employees of..
the office."
I feel weird about the Christmas specials. I don't think they're bad, per se. I don't think they're vastly inferior to the average episode of The Office. I just think they go through the fourth wall so much that it becomes a little more difficult to buy. Because the series itself was about people working and having their everyday lives on camera, knowing the cameras were there. And this is people talking about their lives on camera, knowing the cameras are here, and other people having seen the show... It just opens up a whole new can of worms. Also, way too much Tim and Dawn. But there's a lot of hilarity, particularly from David Brent, and I think they did a pretty good job covering how the office would look in three years time. Which is pretty much the same.
The first thing we see is David driving in his car, one hand on the wheel and another on his forehead, the elbow resting on the window sill in what I'm sure is a rehearsed move that he believes makes him look very serious and professional. As he drives, he keeps putting his right hand on the wheel and then back onto his forehead. It seems so rehearsed.He's looking ahead sternly, because he's The Man, if not The Boss anymore. He voice-overs: "Stitch-up. It was a stitch-up." He claims the BBC mostly filmed "a good bloke doing a good job", and then they showed all the bad stuff, "like one time I accidentally head-butted an interviewee, that makes it to the program." And that's because "you head-butt a girl on the telly and you're labeled a prat." Right, and it's not at all because of the way you "interviewed" Karen, or the way you went home to get your guitar during a training day, or the way you sold out your employees for a promotion? I'm sure that was all editing and there was a context we didn't see. Like Rowan begged you to go get that guitar. And how dare they not show the part where Karen flirted with you voraciously!
He claims the BBC looked at the material and had the following conversation:
"Oh look, here's a good guy, he's their friend as well as their boss, he's a motivator, an entertainer, lots of good stuff. Look, he's made one mistake, shall we cut that out?"
"No."
"What?!"
"No, put that bit IN, cut the other stuff out. We want a scapegoat, we want a dumb-dam(?), we wanna give them the biggest plonker of the year."
Yes, I'm sure it's exactly like that. It's like, the well-meaning editor just wants to make David look good, while the BBC execs or whoever have decided that they're going to make the ultimate scapegoat out of him. And this is the defense of just about every reality show contestant who becomes the "bad guy" or "bitch" of the show. It was just edited that way, we didn't see this and that context, etc. They'll come into the forums and inform us that really, if we had been there, we'd know. I think it depends on the show how true that statement is. In David's case, of course, we know that the camera captured his essence: a sad man who craves attention and acceptance from others; selfish, sexist and utterly uintelligent. There's not much he can do about it, but he wouldn't be David if he didn't claim it's all a big conspiracy against him.
He says sternly, "I'm not a plonker!" and looks indignantly at the interviewer, then at the camera. This, too, seems rehearsed. Also - hee, "plonker". That's pretty much the funniest word you could use for this. And the credits, which I think they could have left out. Half of the scenes in the special don't happen inside the office, and in my opinion, a two-part special doesn't need a theme song. It just seems out of place here.
We return to the office to find it - pretty much exactly the same. All the same employees, it seems. Interestingly, though, Rachel doesn't seem to be there. Maybe she wanted to leave after the Tim incident? Brenda has gotten new glasses and hairdo. Sheila has cut her hair. Keith has put on some weight. Then we see Tim, who's both cut his hair and put on weight. He looks older and more tired than last time. He's now spent three more years at Wernham Hogg, in the same position, at the same table as before. It's kinda sad. At least he doesn't have to sit with Gareth anymore.
Of course, he still has to have Gareth as his boss. He walks into Gareth's office - so weird to write that! - where Gareth is busy at work staring at his computer. Gareth makes this hand movement that I've always taken to be "taking gum out of mouth" movements but I can't see the gum this time around, so maybe I'm wrong. Tim says he's leaving early, and Gareth checks in his book to see if he said it was OK. Tim leaves the office - with Gareth's keys. "Are these the keys to your room" he says just as he's at the door, and he slams it shut and locks Gareth in while Gareth taps on the window and shouts: "Oliver! He's locked me in again!" Hee, "again". So even as a boss, Gareth isn't immune to Tim's pranks. Nor has he found a more effective way of dealing with them.
Tim sits down at his desk looking contented. Gareth calls him and Tim puts him on speaker phone.
Gareth: "Unlock it now, it's not funny. What if there was a fire?"
Tim: "Sorry, who is this?"
Gareth: "Who do you think it is, Father Christmas? Open the door."
Tim: "Don't believe in you." *hangs up*
Absolutely loved that. Even as boss, Gareth has no authority over Tim, and Tim has to show it in the most immature possible way. However, something has changed - no more Dawn behind the receptionist's desk. Gareth calls Melanie the new receptionist, and Tim tells her not to pick up. She awkwardly asks for the keys, and Tim tries to say that it's funny and let him be for a while, but Mel shyly yet firmly takes the keys and lets Gareth out. Tim looks old, tired, and sad. Aww, poor Tim. No one to have fun with. You'd think some of the guys in the office have it in for Gareth and could join in the pranks.
"In January 2001 a BBC documentary crew filmed the everyday goings on in a typical workplace. Now, nearly three years later, we return to find out what has happened to the employees of..
the office."
I feel weird about the Christmas specials. I don't think they're bad, per se. I don't think they're vastly inferior to the average episode of The Office. I just think they go through the fourth wall so much that it becomes a little more difficult to buy. Because the series itself was about people working and having their everyday lives on camera, knowing the cameras were there. And this is people talking about their lives on camera, knowing the cameras are here, and other people having seen the show... It just opens up a whole new can of worms. Also, way too much Tim and Dawn. But there's a lot of hilarity, particularly from David Brent, and I think they did a pretty good job covering how the office would look in three years time. Which is pretty much the same.
The first thing we see is David driving in his car, one hand on the wheel and another on his forehead, the elbow resting on the window sill in what I'm sure is a rehearsed move that he believes makes him look very serious and professional. As he drives, he keeps putting his right hand on the wheel and then back onto his forehead. It seems so rehearsed.He's looking ahead sternly, because he's The Man, if not The Boss anymore. He voice-overs: "Stitch-up. It was a stitch-up." He claims the BBC mostly filmed "a good bloke doing a good job", and then they showed all the bad stuff, "like one time I accidentally head-butted an interviewee, that makes it to the program." And that's because "you head-butt a girl on the telly and you're labeled a prat." Right, and it's not at all because of the way you "interviewed" Karen, or the way you went home to get your guitar during a training day, or the way you sold out your employees for a promotion? I'm sure that was all editing and there was a context we didn't see. Like Rowan begged you to go get that guitar. And how dare they not show the part where Karen flirted with you voraciously!
He claims the BBC looked at the material and had the following conversation:
"Oh look, here's a good guy, he's their friend as well as their boss, he's a motivator, an entertainer, lots of good stuff. Look, he's made one mistake, shall we cut that out?"
"No."
"What?!"
"No, put that bit IN, cut the other stuff out. We want a scapegoat, we want a dumb-dam(?), we wanna give them the biggest plonker of the year."
Yes, I'm sure it's exactly like that. It's like, the well-meaning editor just wants to make David look good, while the BBC execs or whoever have decided that they're going to make the ultimate scapegoat out of him. And this is the defense of just about every reality show contestant who becomes the "bad guy" or "bitch" of the show. It was just edited that way, we didn't see this and that context, etc. They'll come into the forums and inform us that really, if we had been there, we'd know. I think it depends on the show how true that statement is. In David's case, of course, we know that the camera captured his essence: a sad man who craves attention and acceptance from others; selfish, sexist and utterly uintelligent. There's not much he can do about it, but he wouldn't be David if he didn't claim it's all a big conspiracy against him.
He says sternly, "I'm not a plonker!" and looks indignantly at the interviewer, then at the camera. This, too, seems rehearsed. Also - hee, "plonker". That's pretty much the funniest word you could use for this. And the credits, which I think they could have left out. Half of the scenes in the special don't happen inside the office, and in my opinion, a two-part special doesn't need a theme song. It just seems out of place here.
We return to the office to find it - pretty much exactly the same. All the same employees, it seems. Interestingly, though, Rachel doesn't seem to be there. Maybe she wanted to leave after the Tim incident? Brenda has gotten new glasses and hairdo. Sheila has cut her hair. Keith has put on some weight. Then we see Tim, who's both cut his hair and put on weight. He looks older and more tired than last time. He's now spent three more years at Wernham Hogg, in the same position, at the same table as before. It's kinda sad. At least he doesn't have to sit with Gareth anymore.
Of course, he still has to have Gareth as his boss. He walks into Gareth's office - so weird to write that! - where Gareth is busy at work staring at his computer. Gareth makes this hand movement that I've always taken to be "taking gum out of mouth" movements but I can't see the gum this time around, so maybe I'm wrong. Tim says he's leaving early, and Gareth checks in his book to see if he said it was OK. Tim leaves the office - with Gareth's keys. "Are these the keys to your room" he says just as he's at the door, and he slams it shut and locks Gareth in while Gareth taps on the window and shouts: "Oliver! He's locked me in again!" Hee, "again". So even as a boss, Gareth isn't immune to Tim's pranks. Nor has he found a more effective way of dealing with them.
Tim sits down at his desk looking contented. Gareth calls him and Tim puts him on speaker phone.
Gareth: "Unlock it now, it's not funny. What if there was a fire?"
Tim: "Sorry, who is this?"
Gareth: "Who do you think it is, Father Christmas? Open the door."
Tim: "Don't believe in you." *hangs up*
Absolutely loved that. Even as boss, Gareth has no authority over Tim, and Tim has to show it in the most immature possible way. However, something has changed - no more Dawn behind the receptionist's desk. Gareth calls Melanie the new receptionist, and Tim tells her not to pick up. She awkwardly asks for the keys, and Tim tries to say that it's funny and let him be for a while, but Mel shyly yet firmly takes the keys and lets Gareth out. Tim looks old, tired, and sad. Aww, poor Tim. No one to have fun with. You'd think some of the guys in the office have it in for Gareth and could join in the pranks.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Season 2 Deleted Scenes, Part 2
Deleted scene 6: Gareth Makes Small Talk
This is actually a fairly redundant scene, especially compared to the comedy gold of the earlier ones. We see Gareth chatting with Emma and Young Male Employee, who look very bored, especially Emma who does the stealthy "looking into another direction because I'm just trying to stay awake" thing. Gareth is apparently talking about his car, tin-eared as always to the people around him. He talks in a voice that suggests it's very impressive that he fixed it up all by himself. He makes eye contact while saying that and then looks down while saying, "Well, my uncle helped me a bit, but..." It's this perfect little boy act. I love Mackenzie Crook. While Emma looks away, YME asks Gareth how long he's had it. "Bout eighteen months now. And you know how much it's gone up in price since I got it?" YME makes this "don't ask me" noise, because really he couldn't care less. "About two grand," Gareth says proudly. "Two grand?" repeats YME because he has to. Gareth looks at Emma, so she feels compelled to say: "Are you gonna sell it?" Gareth says he might, and when he does, he'll get a Porsche. Hee. He could really get a Porsche with a car he fixed him up by himself? YME and Emma act impressed, but are probably calling bullshit in their minds. It's a good scene for dissecting Gareth's delusions, but I think the "I could beat you at this card game" act was a much better example. So no wonder they cut this one.
Deleted scene 7: David's Power
On Neil's first day, David's introducing "the old office" to him, still so cocky and sure of himself, unaware of what's to come. He tells Neil, "The good side of having the office here is that I can see everyone." Can he really? I mean, his desk isn't even that close to the window, and the Number Bods in particular are fairly far from his room. For some reason, David starts explaining: "That's not because I'm spying on them, they're spying on me, seeing if I'm in there having a laugh.. WITH THEM." Hee. I love how David's mind always goes directly into how people could misinterpret the things he's saying, so he keeps correcting his own metaphors and making them mean the exact opposite. If he's having a laugh with them, wouldn't they be there? David continues, "But they still know I'm hte boss. When I say jump, they jump." Eager to show his power to Neil, he tells Emma, who's copying something, to go get him some coffee. "Get it yourself," says Emma and walks by without even looking at David. Maybe he shouldn't have tested his power on a female employee by asking for coffee. It might sound a little bit sexist, but of course David wouldn't know sexism unless someone actually uttered the words "Men are superior to women". "Yeah, joking," David says to Neil. He looks at his watch: "She actually knows I wouldn't.. want one now." He chuckles a bit at the camera, then awkwardly moves onto "Sit down" and walks into the room, turning away from the camera to hide his embarrassment. Gotta love David, even if it's not the best scene.
Deleted Scene 8: Hot Lesbian Action
Continued from a scene that I'm not too fond of, Rachel is asking Dawn if there's something between her and Tim, "cos you two get on so well together." "I get on with everyone," says Dawn uneasily. She's not really even looking at Rachel. Rachel asks her to ask Tim if he likes her. Dawn asks if she should slip him a note: "If you like Rachel, check this box..." Rachel seems to have a sense of humor about it, and it's actually a pretty natural moment between them, which I like. Too bad it wasn't in the episode. But the best part follows as Gareth walks in. "Ladies," he says, and then adds, "Rachel." So I guess Rachel isn't one of the ladies? "Having a chat? Ladies talk. Don't mind me," Gareth says condescendingly. I think he's just trying to be friendly, but since he thinks women are kinda frivolous and good only for sex, everything he tells them becomes superior and annoying. He might as well be saying, "Sorry, am I interrupting your little chat about boys and makeup?"
Dawn and Rachel react to this in the best possible way. As Gareth bites into a peach, Dawn starts carefully, "So, what do you think about it, because I have seriously considered lesbianism." Rachel, who's immediately in on it, says, "Great, so have I!" The camera zooms in on Gareth who looks very uncomfortable all of a sudden. As the girls pretend to plan a sex meeting, you can see Gareth looking shifty as if he's peeping on them. Rachel suggests they go into a hotel, "just in case I get a bit carried away, cos I am likely to go pretty berserk." Gareth actually makes a noise, he's so uncomfortable. He shifts his position a bit on the chair. "I need a... spoon," he mutters, planning an obvious escape. Dawn asks, "Gareth, what are you doing tonight?" "I'm busy," says Gareth quickly and walks away with his back hunched, as if he's sporting a huge boner. "It's as easy as that," says Dawn as soon as Gareth leaves. "Oh my god," says Rachel and laughs. This was a great, hilarious scene. I wonder if they cut it only because it's so risqué. Maybe BBC didn't want to show lesbian references and women cock-teasing men. I loved it. And not just because I'm a lesbian. It's probably the only non-Tim-related funny moment between Dawn and Rachel, where they actually work together instead of being rivals. I think there aren't enough moments like that on The Office.
Deleted Scene 9:
Gareth walks into David's office and asks if he's leaving then. "Moving on," David corrects. "Time for celebration, not time for tears! I don't want you getting upset." As he's not even looking at Gareth, it seems more likely that he's talking to the camera and showing off how much his employees love him. It's an understandable thought considering Gareth's reaction to him leaving in season 1. However, this time Gareth was thinking of something else: "I'm worried if Tim gets your job, that would be unfair, cos I've been here a lot longer than him." It's interesting that Gareth seems to realize he's not regarded as highly by Jennifer and Neil as Tim is. David gets offended that Gareth only cares about the job: "I'm leaving, you're not upset about that." Gareth says he is. "Good! You should be!" says David and looks at the camera like, "Can you believe this ingratitude?" even if he just said he doesn't want him upset. I guess it's one of those subtle differences, like he doesn't want people to thank him, he just wants them to think they should thank him. Or Gareth's "don't think of me as your boss, but know that I am."
Gareth reassures David that he really cares, but then he looks out of the office at Tim and David notices that. "You're still thinking about getting the job, aren't you?" says David angrily. "If I'm being honest, yeah," says Gareth. I love this little exchange between them:
David: "I can't believe it!" *looks at the camera*
Gareth: "Well, it's in my head, I can't get it out."
David: "Get it out! -Please. Because... Of all the people, you're the mercenary. You're the one that... I'm disappointed."
Gareth: "At least I'm honest. One of the things you taught me in business is 'strike while the iron is hot.' So... you know."
David: "Did I teach you that?"
Gareth: "Yeah."
David: "What else?"
Gareth: "Lots of stuff."
David: "Lots of stuff. What, specifically?" *looks at the camera with a smug grin. Then looks at Gareth. Then, as Gareth is taking his time, David turns to the camera with the smug grin again.*
David: "You're thinking of getting the job again, aren't you?"
Gareth: "I just think I'd have to swap stuff around. I'm left-handed, so..."
David: "Don't wanna hear it! Do I!" *turns to the camera to signal indignation to viewers*
David *looks at Gareth angrily*
Gareth *awkward silence; looks away*
I love this scene. It just shows so well what they're like and what their relationship really is. Gareth is a suck-up, not a true friend; he's hardly an apprentice like David seems to think he is. Gareth is the kind of guy who will take advantage of whoever has the power; by sucking up, he can gain more power, and he's probably been waiting for this chance all through his career. David, on the other hand, is just as selfish. He sold out his staff in the first season, only to return because he had to; now he's leaving, not to move on, but because he's not a good boss, and he doesn't seem genuinely saddened to leave any of them, because he doesn't have any kind of relationship with his staff outside of "look how brilliant and amusing I am". Maybe he took Gareth's sucking up to be friendship, just like he takes Finchy's mean jokes to be friendship. He's dumb enough to surround himself with "friends" like this, and it results in his utter loneliness in the Christmas specials. I think for David, the pegging order is Finchy-David-Gareth, and he's offended to see Gareth change places with him. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Great scene anyway.
Deleted Scene 10: Gareth Cares
Dawn and Tim are giggling at the copy machine. "We're very excited," Dawn tells the camera, "because we've just found an invention from the mind of Gareth Keenan. 'How to Get Disabled People Out of a Building in Case of a Fire.' He's drawn one of those shutes that work when you dump rubbish in the skip." Tim laughs so hard he has to lean on the copier. Dawn reads on: "Note: Make sure there is a normal person waiting to stop them flying off the other end!" Her eyes go really round at "normal person", and Tim does his wide-eyed shocked expression. "Normal," he repeats and laughs. "Here's my favorite bit," says Dawn and reads: "Wheelchair to be picked later by the fireman, in case it's hot." Tim is so amused by this, he does a little dance and half-whispers, "In case it's hot!" They conclude that he really gave it some thought. Gareth's drawing, by the way, looks just like he's spending half his time making drawings of tanks and bombs and armies attacking each other. Which he probably is. Awesome scene. It's not even very long, so I don't see a reason to cut it. It shows us a nice, natural friendship moment between Dawn and Tim to balance out all the awkward moments.
Deleted Scene 11: Gareth's Dilemma
Gareth walks into David's office and apologizes for being insensitive earlier. David seems fine with it, even if he seemed furious earlier. Gareth picks his ear as David says, "Human nature I'm afraid." I wonder if he had time to think things thru and realized that if he can sell out his staff, maybe Gareth can focus on the idea of getting his job. Gareth decides to hug David, and David is very careful to keep his arms on his side to show he is not returning this hug. He even explains to the camera: "It's just two guys being sorry through physicality, it's not ... you know." Gay? I love how David's biggest concern is that someone will think he's gay. It says a lot about his idea of gays and masculinity. While still hugging David, Gareth asks who's going to get the job. "Get off me!" David says angrily and pushes him off. "Sorry," says Gareth. Hee. David gets indignant again and straightens his tie several times, like he does when he's upset. "I've got a lot on my mind, women troubles," says Gareth. "Well, go home if you're not well," David says. Hee! He actually thought men can have women's troubles? Does he know what they actually are? I guess not. Hilarious.
Gareth explains his problem: "I've got two birds on the go at the same time." David is immediately interested and acts like he thinks much more of Gareth because of it. Which he, sadly, probably does. "No one here, is it?" he asks. "No," says Gareth, and the way he says it implies that he thinks everyone at the office is undoable. Even if he was trying to hit on Rachel. Gareth explains that one of the girls is "an absolute stunner." David looks at the camera, smiling knowingly, and asks Gareth to define that. "Well, he looks like Nelly Furtado, so..." David makes an accepting smile and nod at the camera. "One of them is a bit..." and Gareth puffs up his cheeks. "Great tits tho." Because the camera is there, David exclaims, "Gareth! Sexist!" Gareth corrects: "Well, nice knockers." Yes, because it was the word that was sexist, not the idea of comparing two women only based on their looks or implying that the fatter one is somehow inferior and only has good breasts to make up for it. It's so telling that Gareth thinks you can just replace a word and make it less sexist.
"NICE BREASTS!" David almost shouts, and has to say to a woman off-camera: "No, not yours, I..." Judging by the look on his face, she walked away angrily. "Better than hers," says Gareth, leaning over to look at her. "It's not a competition, Gareth!" David exclaims in a fake voice and looks at the camera. He really thinks he's superior and less sexist than Gareth; he realizes you shouldn't talk about women's breasts. His look at the camera is a little too long, and then he turns to Gareth who looks down, embarrassed. Awww, poor stupid Gareth. He means well, he just doesn't respect women at all. And nor does David. I'm loving it.
OK, so the Christmas specials next! I'm not going to say when, because it always seems like it takes longer than I promise, but coming soon.
This is actually a fairly redundant scene, especially compared to the comedy gold of the earlier ones. We see Gareth chatting with Emma and Young Male Employee, who look very bored, especially Emma who does the stealthy "looking into another direction because I'm just trying to stay awake" thing. Gareth is apparently talking about his car, tin-eared as always to the people around him. He talks in a voice that suggests it's very impressive that he fixed it up all by himself. He makes eye contact while saying that and then looks down while saying, "Well, my uncle helped me a bit, but..." It's this perfect little boy act. I love Mackenzie Crook. While Emma looks away, YME asks Gareth how long he's had it. "Bout eighteen months now. And you know how much it's gone up in price since I got it?" YME makes this "don't ask me" noise, because really he couldn't care less. "About two grand," Gareth says proudly. "Two grand?" repeats YME because he has to. Gareth looks at Emma, so she feels compelled to say: "Are you gonna sell it?" Gareth says he might, and when he does, he'll get a Porsche. Hee. He could really get a Porsche with a car he fixed him up by himself? YME and Emma act impressed, but are probably calling bullshit in their minds. It's a good scene for dissecting Gareth's delusions, but I think the "I could beat you at this card game" act was a much better example. So no wonder they cut this one.
Deleted scene 7: David's Power
On Neil's first day, David's introducing "the old office" to him, still so cocky and sure of himself, unaware of what's to come. He tells Neil, "The good side of having the office here is that I can see everyone." Can he really? I mean, his desk isn't even that close to the window, and the Number Bods in particular are fairly far from his room. For some reason, David starts explaining: "That's not because I'm spying on them, they're spying on me, seeing if I'm in there having a laugh.. WITH THEM." Hee. I love how David's mind always goes directly into how people could misinterpret the things he's saying, so he keeps correcting his own metaphors and making them mean the exact opposite. If he's having a laugh with them, wouldn't they be there? David continues, "But they still know I'm hte boss. When I say jump, they jump." Eager to show his power to Neil, he tells Emma, who's copying something, to go get him some coffee. "Get it yourself," says Emma and walks by without even looking at David. Maybe he shouldn't have tested his power on a female employee by asking for coffee. It might sound a little bit sexist, but of course David wouldn't know sexism unless someone actually uttered the words "Men are superior to women". "Yeah, joking," David says to Neil. He looks at his watch: "She actually knows I wouldn't.. want one now." He chuckles a bit at the camera, then awkwardly moves onto "Sit down" and walks into the room, turning away from the camera to hide his embarrassment. Gotta love David, even if it's not the best scene.
Deleted Scene 8: Hot Lesbian Action
Continued from a scene that I'm not too fond of, Rachel is asking Dawn if there's something between her and Tim, "cos you two get on so well together." "I get on with everyone," says Dawn uneasily. She's not really even looking at Rachel. Rachel asks her to ask Tim if he likes her. Dawn asks if she should slip him a note: "If you like Rachel, check this box..." Rachel seems to have a sense of humor about it, and it's actually a pretty natural moment between them, which I like. Too bad it wasn't in the episode. But the best part follows as Gareth walks in. "Ladies," he says, and then adds, "Rachel." So I guess Rachel isn't one of the ladies? "Having a chat? Ladies talk. Don't mind me," Gareth says condescendingly. I think he's just trying to be friendly, but since he thinks women are kinda frivolous and good only for sex, everything he tells them becomes superior and annoying. He might as well be saying, "Sorry, am I interrupting your little chat about boys and makeup?"
Dawn and Rachel react to this in the best possible way. As Gareth bites into a peach, Dawn starts carefully, "So, what do you think about it, because I have seriously considered lesbianism." Rachel, who's immediately in on it, says, "Great, so have I!" The camera zooms in on Gareth who looks very uncomfortable all of a sudden. As the girls pretend to plan a sex meeting, you can see Gareth looking shifty as if he's peeping on them. Rachel suggests they go into a hotel, "just in case I get a bit carried away, cos I am likely to go pretty berserk." Gareth actually makes a noise, he's so uncomfortable. He shifts his position a bit on the chair. "I need a... spoon," he mutters, planning an obvious escape. Dawn asks, "Gareth, what are you doing tonight?" "I'm busy," says Gareth quickly and walks away with his back hunched, as if he's sporting a huge boner. "It's as easy as that," says Dawn as soon as Gareth leaves. "Oh my god," says Rachel and laughs. This was a great, hilarious scene. I wonder if they cut it only because it's so risqué. Maybe BBC didn't want to show lesbian references and women cock-teasing men. I loved it. And not just because I'm a lesbian. It's probably the only non-Tim-related funny moment between Dawn and Rachel, where they actually work together instead of being rivals. I think there aren't enough moments like that on The Office.
Deleted Scene 9:
Gareth walks into David's office and asks if he's leaving then. "Moving on," David corrects. "Time for celebration, not time for tears! I don't want you getting upset." As he's not even looking at Gareth, it seems more likely that he's talking to the camera and showing off how much his employees love him. It's an understandable thought considering Gareth's reaction to him leaving in season 1. However, this time Gareth was thinking of something else: "I'm worried if Tim gets your job, that would be unfair, cos I've been here a lot longer than him." It's interesting that Gareth seems to realize he's not regarded as highly by Jennifer and Neil as Tim is. David gets offended that Gareth only cares about the job: "I'm leaving, you're not upset about that." Gareth says he is. "Good! You should be!" says David and looks at the camera like, "Can you believe this ingratitude?" even if he just said he doesn't want him upset. I guess it's one of those subtle differences, like he doesn't want people to thank him, he just wants them to think they should thank him. Or Gareth's "don't think of me as your boss, but know that I am."
Gareth reassures David that he really cares, but then he looks out of the office at Tim and David notices that. "You're still thinking about getting the job, aren't you?" says David angrily. "If I'm being honest, yeah," says Gareth. I love this little exchange between them:
David: "I can't believe it!" *looks at the camera*
Gareth: "Well, it's in my head, I can't get it out."
David: "Get it out! -Please. Because... Of all the people, you're the mercenary. You're the one that... I'm disappointed."
Gareth: "At least I'm honest. One of the things you taught me in business is 'strike while the iron is hot.' So... you know."
David: "Did I teach you that?"
Gareth: "Yeah."
David: "What else?"
Gareth: "Lots of stuff."
David: "Lots of stuff. What, specifically?" *looks at the camera with a smug grin. Then looks at Gareth. Then, as Gareth is taking his time, David turns to the camera with the smug grin again.*
David: "You're thinking of getting the job again, aren't you?"
Gareth: "I just think I'd have to swap stuff around. I'm left-handed, so..."
David: "Don't wanna hear it! Do I!" *turns to the camera to signal indignation to viewers*
David *looks at Gareth angrily*
Gareth *awkward silence; looks away*
I love this scene. It just shows so well what they're like and what their relationship really is. Gareth is a suck-up, not a true friend; he's hardly an apprentice like David seems to think he is. Gareth is the kind of guy who will take advantage of whoever has the power; by sucking up, he can gain more power, and he's probably been waiting for this chance all through his career. David, on the other hand, is just as selfish. He sold out his staff in the first season, only to return because he had to; now he's leaving, not to move on, but because he's not a good boss, and he doesn't seem genuinely saddened to leave any of them, because he doesn't have any kind of relationship with his staff outside of "look how brilliant and amusing I am". Maybe he took Gareth's sucking up to be friendship, just like he takes Finchy's mean jokes to be friendship. He's dumb enough to surround himself with "friends" like this, and it results in his utter loneliness in the Christmas specials. I think for David, the pegging order is Finchy-David-Gareth, and he's offended to see Gareth change places with him. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Great scene anyway.
Deleted Scene 10: Gareth Cares
Dawn and Tim are giggling at the copy machine. "We're very excited," Dawn tells the camera, "because we've just found an invention from the mind of Gareth Keenan. 'How to Get Disabled People Out of a Building in Case of a Fire.' He's drawn one of those shutes that work when you dump rubbish in the skip." Tim laughs so hard he has to lean on the copier. Dawn reads on: "Note: Make sure there is a normal person waiting to stop them flying off the other end!" Her eyes go really round at "normal person", and Tim does his wide-eyed shocked expression. "Normal," he repeats and laughs. "Here's my favorite bit," says Dawn and reads: "Wheelchair to be picked later by the fireman, in case it's hot." Tim is so amused by this, he does a little dance and half-whispers, "In case it's hot!" They conclude that he really gave it some thought. Gareth's drawing, by the way, looks just like he's spending half his time making drawings of tanks and bombs and armies attacking each other. Which he probably is. Awesome scene. It's not even very long, so I don't see a reason to cut it. It shows us a nice, natural friendship moment between Dawn and Tim to balance out all the awkward moments.
Deleted Scene 11: Gareth's Dilemma
Gareth walks into David's office and apologizes for being insensitive earlier. David seems fine with it, even if he seemed furious earlier. Gareth picks his ear as David says, "Human nature I'm afraid." I wonder if he had time to think things thru and realized that if he can sell out his staff, maybe Gareth can focus on the idea of getting his job. Gareth decides to hug David, and David is very careful to keep his arms on his side to show he is not returning this hug. He even explains to the camera: "It's just two guys being sorry through physicality, it's not ... you know." Gay? I love how David's biggest concern is that someone will think he's gay. It says a lot about his idea of gays and masculinity. While still hugging David, Gareth asks who's going to get the job. "Get off me!" David says angrily and pushes him off. "Sorry," says Gareth. Hee. David gets indignant again and straightens his tie several times, like he does when he's upset. "I've got a lot on my mind, women troubles," says Gareth. "Well, go home if you're not well," David says. Hee! He actually thought men can have women's troubles? Does he know what they actually are? I guess not. Hilarious.
Gareth explains his problem: "I've got two birds on the go at the same time." David is immediately interested and acts like he thinks much more of Gareth because of it. Which he, sadly, probably does. "No one here, is it?" he asks. "No," says Gareth, and the way he says it implies that he thinks everyone at the office is undoable. Even if he was trying to hit on Rachel. Gareth explains that one of the girls is "an absolute stunner." David looks at the camera, smiling knowingly, and asks Gareth to define that. "Well, he looks like Nelly Furtado, so..." David makes an accepting smile and nod at the camera. "One of them is a bit..." and Gareth puffs up his cheeks. "Great tits tho." Because the camera is there, David exclaims, "Gareth! Sexist!" Gareth corrects: "Well, nice knockers." Yes, because it was the word that was sexist, not the idea of comparing two women only based on their looks or implying that the fatter one is somehow inferior and only has good breasts to make up for it. It's so telling that Gareth thinks you can just replace a word and make it less sexist.
"NICE BREASTS!" David almost shouts, and has to say to a woman off-camera: "No, not yours, I..." Judging by the look on his face, she walked away angrily. "Better than hers," says Gareth, leaning over to look at her. "It's not a competition, Gareth!" David exclaims in a fake voice and looks at the camera. He really thinks he's superior and less sexist than Gareth; he realizes you shouldn't talk about women's breasts. His look at the camera is a little too long, and then he turns to Gareth who looks down, embarrassed. Awww, poor stupid Gareth. He means well, he just doesn't respect women at all. And nor does David. I'm loving it.
OK, so the Christmas specials next! I'm not going to say when, because it always seems like it takes longer than I promise, but coming soon.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Season 2 Deleted Scenes, Part 1
The deleted scenes of season 2 are, again, superb. None of them is totally lame or totally useless. They're all funny. They've all been done in a finished look, there's no time running at the bottom of the screen or anything. So I don't really get why they cut these, except to make room for the Tim and Dawn storyline, which is sad, because that story wasn't that funny or that original, and I know I'm always griping about it, but look at what we lost because of the Tim/Dawn storyline! So many great Gareth scenes, and a couple of funny Dawn scenes as well. Thank God for DVDs, is all I can say.
First we see Ricky Gervais watching some scenes and laughing in his trademark childish way. Then he turns towards the camera and says he's watching "some of the deleted scenes from the smash series The Office, and if you bought this dvd of the smash series The Office, I thought you'd like to see some of the scenes not good enough to make it into the final cut. Enjoy it." His laughter seems genuine, which is disturbing. Can he just turn it on and off? The speech seems rehearsed, but the laughter seems to come naturally from wherever Ricky's insane creative mind is on at the moment. Creepy.
Deleted scene 1: Gareth Asks Dawn For Advice
(the titles are mine by the way, just to make it easier to read this recap.)
Dawn is leafing thru a paper on the sofa where she spends her breaks, and where she never gets to be left alone. Gareth shows up. And by show up, I mean "reads over her shoulder, presses himself against her side and nudges her". Eww. Dawn makes a suitably uncomfortable face, and leans back in the sofa, perhaps to avoid Gareth's arm from touching her back. It's just such good acting just with facial expressions. Lucy Davis rocks. I know she went to Hollywood, lost too much weight and got an awful tan, but I respect her as an actress, a lot. Also, my gross drunken neighbor once came just that close to me on the bus stop, and it bugged me so much that I couldn't even say a word to him, even if all he said was "Hi". Lesson of the day? Don't lean right next to someone, it's disturbing. "Dawn, I was wondering if we could have a word about a delicate matter," Gareth says. "Ookay?" says Dawn, and since she knows Gareth, she's probably wondering if he wants to discuss his private parts or something gross like that. If it were anyone else, it might be work-related, but not with Gareth.
Gareth begins: "Basically, I've got two women on the go at the same time." He says it in a kind of singing rhythm, and I must say I also admire Mackenzie Crook as an actor, a lot. He can do such a pathetic, despicable, yet somehow likeable Gareth. I know I've said all this before, but in some scenes it just strikes me. He continues: "Got off with them both at Chasers" - of course, since he never goes anywhere else - "..they both want me..." Dawn, who's already tired of the bragging, decides to ask him straight what the question is: "Should you be cheating on them both?" But Gareth shrugs it off: "No, I don't care about that."
It's such a Gareth problem, but he says it so seriously, so I'll transcribe it all here: "Basically, one of them is an absolute cracker, alright? Real fox, not much upstairs in the brains department. And I need intellectual stimulation as well as" - points to his crotch and makes a "krrrk" sound - "downstairs. I mean, sometimes I have to tell her not to talk during.. IT. Stupidity puts me off my [streak?]. The other one is... you know, she's lovely, clever, A levels, a right laugh... bit of a bloater." Dawn does her absolute best to stay with the conversation in a respectful way, going "Right..." and "Sure", even if she obviously thinks it's TMI and sexist besides. Her conclusion: "Nice that you're thinking of choosing brains over beauty." But tha's not what Gareth meant: "No, I'm not... Can I ask fatty to lose weight? I'm not even sure if that's a proper solution, because I don't know if she's got a pretty face, difficult to tell." Dawn looks like she didn't expect anything this bad even from Gareth. But no worries, he plans on being discreet: "I wouldn't just ask her straight out like that, lose weight" - he points at Dawn - "you know, I'd send her an email or something." Hee! Dawn gives him the stink-eye, but I think he's too dumb to notice it.
It's just so outrageously wrong it's hilarious. Of course, any "fatty" should dump a guy who asks her to lose weight, and any man who doesn't want to be with a fat girl should just not be with her in the first place, instead of trying to change her. What's awesome about this scene is that the writers realize that and it's not an offense to fat girls. I wonder, however, if they were told to cut this scene because it offends fat women or women in general. It doesn't offend me at all, because the joke is on Gareth.
"Why are you asking me?" says Dawn. "Basically, I want a woman's perspective, and you're the only woman I know that I don't fancy. Yeah, don't be offended, if you came around to my house begging for it, I'd still do you, but..." Wow. Gareth just lives in his own little world where women come to his doorstep to beg for sex. He really thinks he's so attractive, any woman's dream, when really all he can attract is dumb chicks from Chasers. And I don't believe that "bloater" is that intelligent - or that fat - anyway, if she wants to be with Gareth. Of course, Gareth thinks the biggest compliment you can give a girl is "I'd do you." Dawn gives a little uneasy laugh that sounds like she's stifling a need to punch him in the face. "It's nice to know," she says. I think the only way the women can deal with Gareth is by saying sarcastic things in a serious tone, so he doesn't get they don't mean it.
Deleted Scene 2: Gareth's Biking Gear
Dawn's at her desk as Gareth walks in wearing a super-tight blue biking shirt and super-tight black biking shorts. He looks ridiculous. Dawn starts laughing hysterically, one of the most difficult things for an actor. It doesn't seem entirely natural, but she does the whole "laughing silently" thing, which works better than a stream of "hahahaha". "Childish," says Gareth. He starts making stretches against the sofa, and Rachel walks out of the kitchen at that moment. Gareth's crotch stretches right in front of her. She sounds baffled and shocked: "Oh...bit...tight, aren't they?" Gareth explains: "I'm in training. I'm in the army." Rachel politely starts: "Oh, you're in the terri...torial...", but Gareth stretches again and it gets her off track. "Territorial army," says Gareth. Yes, emphasize the army part, not the territorial part. He asks what Rachel is up to. Rachel was "just making... a cup of....tea." The outfit really seems to throw her off. "Good, fluids," says Gareth. "Did you know you're supposed to drink a litre and a half of fluids a day to avoid dehydration?" This is like when he tried to woo Donna with that health and safety and duh training. Rachel, who's seen more of Gareth's physique than she ever wanted to, is too appalled to respond.
"Excuse me," he says and Rachel happily stands aside. He starts lifting himself up on a rail that's apparently on the kitchen doorway. "I try to do twenty of these a day when I'm training," he says. Rachel leaves. "Situps and squats too." He turns around, but there's no one there. I love scenes like that. Only the camera witnessed how Gareth tried to impress a girl with his fitness training, and failed. Also, he looks totally scrawny in that outfit, so it's not really a very good testimony of what great shape he's in. Not saying scrawny guys can't be in shape, but if you want to impress with it, people usually expect some kind of display of visible muscles. Embarrassed, he pretends nothing happened, blows air out of his mouth and pats his outfit a bit. Then he walks away, casting one last insecure glance at the camera.
Gareth interview: "The thing about me is...I love to look good. You know, I work hard, I spend my oney on myself.. that's my reward. It means that in the end of the day, I can look at myself and say, 'Yeah, I bought and paid for everything that I'm wearing.'" Too bad he doesn't have a very good taste, judging by his biking outfit. Also, this is much more than anyone who doesn't work out can say. Can I just add that if someone doesn't work out, they'd spend less money on gym passes, exercise outfits and stuff, so they'd actually have more money to spend on themselves. Of course, as he is wont to do, Gareth gets off topic: "Not socks, they were a Christmas present from my cousin. Which I sorta paid for in a way, cos they only cost a fiver, I saw them in an offer. I bought her 15 quids worth of Body Shop vouchers. That's the good thing about vouchers, actually. She can see exactly how much I sent on her. And, most probably, this year she'll buck her ideas up." It's a positively Brentian babble, because who cares about the socks, and his cousin must be happy to see this on TV. Of course, he cares more about money than the sentiment of the gift, tho I must admit socks are THE faux pas gift for a guy. But still. Cousins aren't usually even very close.
Gareth's working at his computer, but not sitting down, still stretching, his hand on his back. And he's got the outfit on still. Tim walks in and starts needling him instantly: "Veery nice!" Gareth tells him, "Don't look at it if you don't like it." Well, you're standing right in front of him, so he has to look. "Do like it! Do like it. Could I have one like that, could you arrange for me to?" says Tim. He makes it sound totally gay. David walks in, saying, "Mr Keenan!!" in one of his lame imitation voices. His tone is completely at ease and jovial, but as Gareth turns around and he sees the tight clothing, he gets very embarrassed and keeps his eyes firmly on Gareth's face. He says, elegantly enough, "Have... Oh...You... What... Huh?" He turns to Tim to get an excuse not to look at Gareth. "No, it's... uh..." He leans on the desk for a moment, but then realizes he's too close to Gareth's body now and mumbles something like, "Don't wanna do... What... um..." Now he's just staring off into space, and he points at Gareth's waist without looking at it. "Are you gonna get changed?" Gareth says yes and starts to say something else, but David just interrupts him with "Good," turns away and leaves. Heeee. It's a nice scene - quite long, not overdone, the kind of social embarrassment Gervais does best. It's kinda hilarious that David's first reaction is always to avoid looking gay. Tim looks behind him with a shocked expression, but he's holding a ruler and puts his fingers on it, looking at Gareth. As an oblivious Gareth continues working at his computer, Tim puts his fingers forward on the ruler, looking at the number and Gareth in turn in total shock. That's one of the most risque things they've done, I think. I'm not even sure if he's genuinely shocked or if he's trying to annoy Gareth.
Timterview: "You see, I don't like doing this, but he drives me to it. I know it's my problem, but everything he does winds me up! He is the most annoying man on God's Earth. The way he talks, the way when he's reading a newspaper, he laughs out loud, like it's a great article and I've missed out on something." My brother used to do that with comic books when we were kids. He'd laugh out loud, and if I didn't ask what was so funny, he'd laugh louder, and so forth, until it sounded really desperate. I can totally see Gareth doing that. "OK, do you know his favorite band of all time? Could have had anyone, fifty years of popular music. It's Mike and the Mechanics. That's who it is." He feels his neck for his pulse. "Blood pressure's up... That's just thinking about him, OK? So the only way I can get thru my day is to fight fire with fire, be even more annoying than he is." I loved this. Why wasn't this included on the show? Maybe GervaisMerchant thought it was a little too obvious why Tim does this, and it doesn't need an interview.
I love how Tim, who's a mature person, loves being a total child with Gareth. But really, as nice as he is, the mean thing about Tim is that he punishes Gareth for annoying him, not for being sexist, rude, lewd, selfish, pedantic, and so forth. In the end, it's little things like liking Mike and the Mechanics that make him put staplers in jello. It's not necessarily Gareth's fault that he does this; he might not be consciously pushing Tim's buttons. They just have zero chemistry and are forced to work together every day. And maybe this is what makes most people hate their jobs - being forced to share their work space with people they are annoyed with, people who might not bug so much if you didn't see them every day. I know Americans hate their cubicles, but an open office like this is much worse. They actually share the same desk. I'd hate Gareth too if I had to work with him, even if I just kinda pity him while seeing it on TV.
Deleted scene 3: Simon the Computer Geek Strikes Again
Gareth's desk. Simon is there, talking to him. "One of the most amazing things about Bruce Lee was, do you know The Trembling Hand?" "Oh yeah yeah yeah," says Gareth in a child's agreement voice, like an "I want to agree with you because you're cool" thing. "Do you know how he did it?" asks Simon. "Yeah, I do do. Tell me again," says Gareth. "All he did was he concentrated all his mind and power in his body via the mind into one hand until it's trembling with power." Heee! That's not only physically impossible, but also stupid. Really, really stupid. Of course, it would impress Gareth, as all stupid and macho things naturally do. "And then, all he did was, he'd touch you in the chest" - Simon puts his hand near Gareth - "and he'd burst every blood vessel in your body, you'd die at once." That's hilarious. It's just, seriously, how could anyone swallow this kind of bullshit? Gareth, of course, can: "Bloody hell, it's brilliant. You... Could you do that?" Who does he think Simon is? Some kind of magician or Superman who can do anything? "I'd never try it on anyone, just in case," says Simon. With great power comes great responsibility! "Test it out on stray cats or something," says Gareth. Tim laughs out loud, intentionally loud just to alert Simon that he may be fooling Gareth, but not anyone with a brain. Simon glances at Tim, as does Gareth. Simon looks annoyed that Tim's bringing him back on Earth from his little ego trip with Gareth.
I can kinda see why they didn't want to include even more Simon in that one episode, though it would have been fun to see the character more in subsequent episodes. Perhaps they felt that the other stories, like the Way of the Dragon/Enter the Dragon thing, had more subtle commentary on male power relations than this shorter bit. Good stuff anyway.
Deleted Scene 4: Keith's Appraisal Continued
David puts away Keith's appraisal form: "Done. Good." And of course, he simply gave up on it because Keith wasn't cooperating. "Lots of objectives," David says, putting it very nicely. "Main one, of course: work on your communication skills." Keith replies with his deadpan expression and gum-chewing. "Okay?" says David gingerly. Keith closes his eyes and stops chewing for a second, then resumes. David smiles desperately at the camera before asking: "Is that a yes?" Keith says, "Yeah." It's awesome that Keith communicates more with minimal body language than with his minimal speech. David puts two thumbs up. Reciting a wisdom again, looking up at the ceiling so it's obvious he's reading it from memory: "I'm gonna leave you with this, Keith: In life... Never be afraid of moving forward slowly... Only be afraid of standing still." That's actually kind of rude, because obviously David's implying that Keith is slow. Words just aren't enough to express how funny Keith's chewing is in response. Absolutely no reaction. David looks at Keith with a kind of concerned expression. Obviously he's not sure if the message went thru, or if he should beat it into his head with a hammer. Keith's a mysterious, effective character. What's going thru his head? Is anything? They should have kept this scene.
Deleted Scene 5: Dawn's Appraisal Continued
David tells Dawn to "keep up the doodling", with a facial expression that shows scorn for a silly hobby like drawing. I mean, seriously! Who could imagine making a living a drawing? Children can draw. Not my thoughts, but clearly what David is trying to say. Dawn looks shocked by his rudeness. "I've seen your stuff, and it's... okay..." His face, again, says it's bland and he has nothing particularly good to say about it. "Got one criticism, it doesn't..." And he slaps his own chest. "...smack you enough?" suggests Dawn. "Yeah, doesn't... Arrrrr..." He puts up his fists. "Doesn't, excuse my French, doesn't grab me by the bollards, Dawn." He makes a weird "grabbing" gesture in the air, luckily not around his, er, bollards. "No message." Dawn looks disgusted at the mental image of grabbing David's nuts. She mouths, "Message.." but doesn't say it out loud. David nods. But isn't Dawn a children's illlustrator? Why should children's illustrations grab you by the bollards? Shouldn't they be child-friendly and preferably non-shocking?
David can't talk about anything for too long without bringing up himself and his own talents, so he gets to the point, which is his own drawing experience: "I did this drawing once when I was about fourteen. And it was of a human ear, perfect anatomical drawing of a human ear" - and he draws an ear in the air. Of course it was perfect - it was drawn by him! "And it was in the middle of the page. And around the page was a dog barking, and a kid screaming, and a gun going off and a plane taking off, and a TV blaring, you know. And the human ear was exploding into a thousand pieces. Message!" He keeps making gestures to illustrate the noises on his left and right, and in the end he makes an explosion gesture, albeit rather slowly for effect, so it doesn't really look like an explosion. It's a very typical David Brent "artwork", too - it doesn't have anything new or original, and it sounds a bit too "educational" and in your face, like the work of someone who wants to make a spectacle of himself rather than truly send a message. "Loud noises hurt your ears?" suggests Dawn, who looks like she's trying very hard to keep herself from commenting on it further. "Damage them. Permanently, sometimes," says David and looks into the camera with a "This is serious. Listen to this" look that is just awesome. This isn't a health show! Kids aren't going to take advice like that from David Brent! "And that was.... Medical." I love when he uses the one adjective instead of a sentence. I should make a list of all the quotes where he uses that. "Medical" has to be my favorite at the moment, it's just so silly to describe your own message that way. It's like this review someone made of a comedy movie - "It was very comical." Well, I suppose so, since it was a comedy. Lovely misuse of adjectives. Dawn looks at David with a familiar mix of pity and shock. Awww, Dawn. I wish they'd kept more of her bits.
Deleted Scene 6: Keith is Ready to Make His Move
The welcome party. Tim's telling a story and Rachel is laughing, and Gareth is standing between them pretending to laugh. Tim says "that day I did" and "It was all wonky". I have no idea what he's talking about, but as usual, it sounds like a realistic snippet of a conversation, which few TV shows have pulled off convincingly, coming to think of it. We don't need to hear the whole story, just enough to make it credible that somebody's telling one. "What other stuff is there?" asks Gareth as the laughter wanes. Hee, so inane. It's like he's pretending it was his story and he's going to tell another one. "I don't know, Gareth," says Tim, always ready to mock Gareth's stupidities. "Just trying to think," Gareth says. Don't think out loud then, silly. Rachel says she needs to go to the bathroom and Gareth offers to join her, "I'll show you where it is," he adds to not make it sound like he's coming in with her. "Splendid Gareth, don't make it too blunt or anything," Tim mumbles as they leave. "When she comes back here, make an excuse and leave her, I'm going to move in," says Keith suddenly. Hilariously, he makes this "thrust" movement with his hips and pants a bit. Heeee. Everything Keith does is awesome. They should have kept this part. Tim seems shocked by his bluntness, and he looks away. Keith does it one more time, more slowly. Tim puts his hand out as if to stop him doing that in company and on camera. Loved it.
First we see Ricky Gervais watching some scenes and laughing in his trademark childish way. Then he turns towards the camera and says he's watching "some of the deleted scenes from the smash series The Office, and if you bought this dvd of the smash series The Office, I thought you'd like to see some of the scenes not good enough to make it into the final cut. Enjoy it." His laughter seems genuine, which is disturbing. Can he just turn it on and off? The speech seems rehearsed, but the laughter seems to come naturally from wherever Ricky's insane creative mind is on at the moment. Creepy.
Deleted scene 1: Gareth Asks Dawn For Advice
(the titles are mine by the way, just to make it easier to read this recap.)
Dawn is leafing thru a paper on the sofa where she spends her breaks, and where she never gets to be left alone. Gareth shows up. And by show up, I mean "reads over her shoulder, presses himself against her side and nudges her". Eww. Dawn makes a suitably uncomfortable face, and leans back in the sofa, perhaps to avoid Gareth's arm from touching her back. It's just such good acting just with facial expressions. Lucy Davis rocks. I know she went to Hollywood, lost too much weight and got an awful tan, but I respect her as an actress, a lot. Also, my gross drunken neighbor once came just that close to me on the bus stop, and it bugged me so much that I couldn't even say a word to him, even if all he said was "Hi". Lesson of the day? Don't lean right next to someone, it's disturbing. "Dawn, I was wondering if we could have a word about a delicate matter," Gareth says. "Ookay?" says Dawn, and since she knows Gareth, she's probably wondering if he wants to discuss his private parts or something gross like that. If it were anyone else, it might be work-related, but not with Gareth.
Gareth begins: "Basically, I've got two women on the go at the same time." He says it in a kind of singing rhythm, and I must say I also admire Mackenzie Crook as an actor, a lot. He can do such a pathetic, despicable, yet somehow likeable Gareth. I know I've said all this before, but in some scenes it just strikes me. He continues: "Got off with them both at Chasers" - of course, since he never goes anywhere else - "..they both want me..." Dawn, who's already tired of the bragging, decides to ask him straight what the question is: "Should you be cheating on them both?" But Gareth shrugs it off: "No, I don't care about that."
It's such a Gareth problem, but he says it so seriously, so I'll transcribe it all here: "Basically, one of them is an absolute cracker, alright? Real fox, not much upstairs in the brains department. And I need intellectual stimulation as well as" - points to his crotch and makes a "krrrk" sound - "downstairs. I mean, sometimes I have to tell her not to talk during.. IT. Stupidity puts me off my [streak?]. The other one is... you know, she's lovely, clever, A levels, a right laugh... bit of a bloater." Dawn does her absolute best to stay with the conversation in a respectful way, going "Right..." and "Sure", even if she obviously thinks it's TMI and sexist besides. Her conclusion: "Nice that you're thinking of choosing brains over beauty." But tha's not what Gareth meant: "No, I'm not... Can I ask fatty to lose weight? I'm not even sure if that's a proper solution, because I don't know if she's got a pretty face, difficult to tell." Dawn looks like she didn't expect anything this bad even from Gareth. But no worries, he plans on being discreet: "I wouldn't just ask her straight out like that, lose weight" - he points at Dawn - "you know, I'd send her an email or something." Hee! Dawn gives him the stink-eye, but I think he's too dumb to notice it.
It's just so outrageously wrong it's hilarious. Of course, any "fatty" should dump a guy who asks her to lose weight, and any man who doesn't want to be with a fat girl should just not be with her in the first place, instead of trying to change her. What's awesome about this scene is that the writers realize that and it's not an offense to fat girls. I wonder, however, if they were told to cut this scene because it offends fat women or women in general. It doesn't offend me at all, because the joke is on Gareth.
"Why are you asking me?" says Dawn. "Basically, I want a woman's perspective, and you're the only woman I know that I don't fancy. Yeah, don't be offended, if you came around to my house begging for it, I'd still do you, but..." Wow. Gareth just lives in his own little world where women come to his doorstep to beg for sex. He really thinks he's so attractive, any woman's dream, when really all he can attract is dumb chicks from Chasers. And I don't believe that "bloater" is that intelligent - or that fat - anyway, if she wants to be with Gareth. Of course, Gareth thinks the biggest compliment you can give a girl is "I'd do you." Dawn gives a little uneasy laugh that sounds like she's stifling a need to punch him in the face. "It's nice to know," she says. I think the only way the women can deal with Gareth is by saying sarcastic things in a serious tone, so he doesn't get they don't mean it.
Deleted Scene 2: Gareth's Biking Gear
Dawn's at her desk as Gareth walks in wearing a super-tight blue biking shirt and super-tight black biking shorts. He looks ridiculous. Dawn starts laughing hysterically, one of the most difficult things for an actor. It doesn't seem entirely natural, but she does the whole "laughing silently" thing, which works better than a stream of "hahahaha". "Childish," says Gareth. He starts making stretches against the sofa, and Rachel walks out of the kitchen at that moment. Gareth's crotch stretches right in front of her. She sounds baffled and shocked: "Oh...bit...tight, aren't they?" Gareth explains: "I'm in training. I'm in the army." Rachel politely starts: "Oh, you're in the terri...torial...", but Gareth stretches again and it gets her off track. "Territorial army," says Gareth. Yes, emphasize the army part, not the territorial part. He asks what Rachel is up to. Rachel was "just making... a cup of....tea." The outfit really seems to throw her off. "Good, fluids," says Gareth. "Did you know you're supposed to drink a litre and a half of fluids a day to avoid dehydration?" This is like when he tried to woo Donna with that health and safety and duh training. Rachel, who's seen more of Gareth's physique than she ever wanted to, is too appalled to respond.
"Excuse me," he says and Rachel happily stands aside. He starts lifting himself up on a rail that's apparently on the kitchen doorway. "I try to do twenty of these a day when I'm training," he says. Rachel leaves. "Situps and squats too." He turns around, but there's no one there. I love scenes like that. Only the camera witnessed how Gareth tried to impress a girl with his fitness training, and failed. Also, he looks totally scrawny in that outfit, so it's not really a very good testimony of what great shape he's in. Not saying scrawny guys can't be in shape, but if you want to impress with it, people usually expect some kind of display of visible muscles. Embarrassed, he pretends nothing happened, blows air out of his mouth and pats his outfit a bit. Then he walks away, casting one last insecure glance at the camera.
Gareth interview: "The thing about me is...I love to look good. You know, I work hard, I spend my oney on myself.. that's my reward. It means that in the end of the day, I can look at myself and say, 'Yeah, I bought and paid for everything that I'm wearing.'" Too bad he doesn't have a very good taste, judging by his biking outfit. Also, this is much more than anyone who doesn't work out can say. Can I just add that if someone doesn't work out, they'd spend less money on gym passes, exercise outfits and stuff, so they'd actually have more money to spend on themselves. Of course, as he is wont to do, Gareth gets off topic: "Not socks, they were a Christmas present from my cousin. Which I sorta paid for in a way, cos they only cost a fiver, I saw them in an offer. I bought her 15 quids worth of Body Shop vouchers. That's the good thing about vouchers, actually. She can see exactly how much I sent on her. And, most probably, this year she'll buck her ideas up." It's a positively Brentian babble, because who cares about the socks, and his cousin must be happy to see this on TV. Of course, he cares more about money than the sentiment of the gift, tho I must admit socks are THE faux pas gift for a guy. But still. Cousins aren't usually even very close.
Gareth's working at his computer, but not sitting down, still stretching, his hand on his back. And he's got the outfit on still. Tim walks in and starts needling him instantly: "Veery nice!" Gareth tells him, "Don't look at it if you don't like it." Well, you're standing right in front of him, so he has to look. "Do like it! Do like it. Could I have one like that, could you arrange for me to?" says Tim. He makes it sound totally gay. David walks in, saying, "Mr Keenan!!" in one of his lame imitation voices. His tone is completely at ease and jovial, but as Gareth turns around and he sees the tight clothing, he gets very embarrassed and keeps his eyes firmly on Gareth's face. He says, elegantly enough, "Have... Oh...You... What... Huh?" He turns to Tim to get an excuse not to look at Gareth. "No, it's... uh..." He leans on the desk for a moment, but then realizes he's too close to Gareth's body now and mumbles something like, "Don't wanna do... What... um..." Now he's just staring off into space, and he points at Gareth's waist without looking at it. "Are you gonna get changed?" Gareth says yes and starts to say something else, but David just interrupts him with "Good," turns away and leaves. Heeee. It's a nice scene - quite long, not overdone, the kind of social embarrassment Gervais does best. It's kinda hilarious that David's first reaction is always to avoid looking gay. Tim looks behind him with a shocked expression, but he's holding a ruler and puts his fingers on it, looking at Gareth. As an oblivious Gareth continues working at his computer, Tim puts his fingers forward on the ruler, looking at the number and Gareth in turn in total shock. That's one of the most risque things they've done, I think. I'm not even sure if he's genuinely shocked or if he's trying to annoy Gareth.
Timterview: "You see, I don't like doing this, but he drives me to it. I know it's my problem, but everything he does winds me up! He is the most annoying man on God's Earth. The way he talks, the way when he's reading a newspaper, he laughs out loud, like it's a great article and I've missed out on something." My brother used to do that with comic books when we were kids. He'd laugh out loud, and if I didn't ask what was so funny, he'd laugh louder, and so forth, until it sounded really desperate. I can totally see Gareth doing that. "OK, do you know his favorite band of all time? Could have had anyone, fifty years of popular music. It's Mike and the Mechanics. That's who it is." He feels his neck for his pulse. "Blood pressure's up... That's just thinking about him, OK? So the only way I can get thru my day is to fight fire with fire, be even more annoying than he is." I loved this. Why wasn't this included on the show? Maybe GervaisMerchant thought it was a little too obvious why Tim does this, and it doesn't need an interview.
I love how Tim, who's a mature person, loves being a total child with Gareth. But really, as nice as he is, the mean thing about Tim is that he punishes Gareth for annoying him, not for being sexist, rude, lewd, selfish, pedantic, and so forth. In the end, it's little things like liking Mike and the Mechanics that make him put staplers in jello. It's not necessarily Gareth's fault that he does this; he might not be consciously pushing Tim's buttons. They just have zero chemistry and are forced to work together every day. And maybe this is what makes most people hate their jobs - being forced to share their work space with people they are annoyed with, people who might not bug so much if you didn't see them every day. I know Americans hate their cubicles, but an open office like this is much worse. They actually share the same desk. I'd hate Gareth too if I had to work with him, even if I just kinda pity him while seeing it on TV.
Deleted scene 3: Simon the Computer Geek Strikes Again
Gareth's desk. Simon is there, talking to him. "One of the most amazing things about Bruce Lee was, do you know The Trembling Hand?" "Oh yeah yeah yeah," says Gareth in a child's agreement voice, like an "I want to agree with you because you're cool" thing. "Do you know how he did it?" asks Simon. "Yeah, I do do. Tell me again," says Gareth. "All he did was he concentrated all his mind and power in his body via the mind into one hand until it's trembling with power." Heee! That's not only physically impossible, but also stupid. Really, really stupid. Of course, it would impress Gareth, as all stupid and macho things naturally do. "And then, all he did was, he'd touch you in the chest" - Simon puts his hand near Gareth - "and he'd burst every blood vessel in your body, you'd die at once." That's hilarious. It's just, seriously, how could anyone swallow this kind of bullshit? Gareth, of course, can: "Bloody hell, it's brilliant. You... Could you do that?" Who does he think Simon is? Some kind of magician or Superman who can do anything? "I'd never try it on anyone, just in case," says Simon. With great power comes great responsibility! "Test it out on stray cats or something," says Gareth. Tim laughs out loud, intentionally loud just to alert Simon that he may be fooling Gareth, but not anyone with a brain. Simon glances at Tim, as does Gareth. Simon looks annoyed that Tim's bringing him back on Earth from his little ego trip with Gareth.
I can kinda see why they didn't want to include even more Simon in that one episode, though it would have been fun to see the character more in subsequent episodes. Perhaps they felt that the other stories, like the Way of the Dragon/Enter the Dragon thing, had more subtle commentary on male power relations than this shorter bit. Good stuff anyway.
Deleted Scene 4: Keith's Appraisal Continued
David puts away Keith's appraisal form: "Done. Good." And of course, he simply gave up on it because Keith wasn't cooperating. "Lots of objectives," David says, putting it very nicely. "Main one, of course: work on your communication skills." Keith replies with his deadpan expression and gum-chewing. "Okay?" says David gingerly. Keith closes his eyes and stops chewing for a second, then resumes. David smiles desperately at the camera before asking: "Is that a yes?" Keith says, "Yeah." It's awesome that Keith communicates more with minimal body language than with his minimal speech. David puts two thumbs up. Reciting a wisdom again, looking up at the ceiling so it's obvious he's reading it from memory: "I'm gonna leave you with this, Keith: In life... Never be afraid of moving forward slowly... Only be afraid of standing still." That's actually kind of rude, because obviously David's implying that Keith is slow. Words just aren't enough to express how funny Keith's chewing is in response. Absolutely no reaction. David looks at Keith with a kind of concerned expression. Obviously he's not sure if the message went thru, or if he should beat it into his head with a hammer. Keith's a mysterious, effective character. What's going thru his head? Is anything? They should have kept this scene.
Deleted Scene 5: Dawn's Appraisal Continued
David tells Dawn to "keep up the doodling", with a facial expression that shows scorn for a silly hobby like drawing. I mean, seriously! Who could imagine making a living a drawing? Children can draw. Not my thoughts, but clearly what David is trying to say. Dawn looks shocked by his rudeness. "I've seen your stuff, and it's... okay..." His face, again, says it's bland and he has nothing particularly good to say about it. "Got one criticism, it doesn't..." And he slaps his own chest. "...smack you enough?" suggests Dawn. "Yeah, doesn't... Arrrrr..." He puts up his fists. "Doesn't, excuse my French, doesn't grab me by the bollards, Dawn." He makes a weird "grabbing" gesture in the air, luckily not around his, er, bollards. "No message." Dawn looks disgusted at the mental image of grabbing David's nuts. She mouths, "Message.." but doesn't say it out loud. David nods. But isn't Dawn a children's illlustrator? Why should children's illustrations grab you by the bollards? Shouldn't they be child-friendly and preferably non-shocking?
David can't talk about anything for too long without bringing up himself and his own talents, so he gets to the point, which is his own drawing experience: "I did this drawing once when I was about fourteen. And it was of a human ear, perfect anatomical drawing of a human ear" - and he draws an ear in the air. Of course it was perfect - it was drawn by him! "And it was in the middle of the page. And around the page was a dog barking, and a kid screaming, and a gun going off and a plane taking off, and a TV blaring, you know. And the human ear was exploding into a thousand pieces. Message!" He keeps making gestures to illustrate the noises on his left and right, and in the end he makes an explosion gesture, albeit rather slowly for effect, so it doesn't really look like an explosion. It's a very typical David Brent "artwork", too - it doesn't have anything new or original, and it sounds a bit too "educational" and in your face, like the work of someone who wants to make a spectacle of himself rather than truly send a message. "Loud noises hurt your ears?" suggests Dawn, who looks like she's trying very hard to keep herself from commenting on it further. "Damage them. Permanently, sometimes," says David and looks into the camera with a "This is serious. Listen to this" look that is just awesome. This isn't a health show! Kids aren't going to take advice like that from David Brent! "And that was.... Medical." I love when he uses the one adjective instead of a sentence. I should make a list of all the quotes where he uses that. "Medical" has to be my favorite at the moment, it's just so silly to describe your own message that way. It's like this review someone made of a comedy movie - "It was very comical." Well, I suppose so, since it was a comedy. Lovely misuse of adjectives. Dawn looks at David with a familiar mix of pity and shock. Awww, Dawn. I wish they'd kept more of her bits.
Deleted Scene 6: Keith is Ready to Make His Move
The welcome party. Tim's telling a story and Rachel is laughing, and Gareth is standing between them pretending to laugh. Tim says "that day I did" and "It was all wonky". I have no idea what he's talking about, but as usual, it sounds like a realistic snippet of a conversation, which few TV shows have pulled off convincingly, coming to think of it. We don't need to hear the whole story, just enough to make it credible that somebody's telling one. "What other stuff is there?" asks Gareth as the laughter wanes. Hee, so inane. It's like he's pretending it was his story and he's going to tell another one. "I don't know, Gareth," says Tim, always ready to mock Gareth's stupidities. "Just trying to think," Gareth says. Don't think out loud then, silly. Rachel says she needs to go to the bathroom and Gareth offers to join her, "I'll show you where it is," he adds to not make it sound like he's coming in with her. "Splendid Gareth, don't make it too blunt or anything," Tim mumbles as they leave. "When she comes back here, make an excuse and leave her, I'm going to move in," says Keith suddenly. Hilariously, he makes this "thrust" movement with his hips and pants a bit. Heeee. Everything Keith does is awesome. They should have kept this part. Tim seems shocked by his bluntness, and he looks away. Keith does it one more time, more slowly. Tim puts his hand out as if to stop him doing that in company and on camera. Loved it.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Season 2, Episode 6, Part 5: "The Question"
Tim's sitting at his desk, pondering. Dawn walks by and touches his neck just a bit. Tim chuckles a bit, but then just looks at her, confused. It's an interesting scene because it seems to suggest Dawn has the upper hand, choosing to touch Tim a bit and just walking by. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but either way, it's a little touching even for me that their obvious mutual love has turned into awkward little worldess gestures, since neither of them can do anything about it.
Timterview. He says he didn't ask Dawn out as a date, which we've all heard before. He claims he was trying to make her feel better because of the fight with Lee. Right, because he did say "Now that you broke up with Lee," which totally means, "Since Lee's giving you a hard time, can I make it up to you?" He continues, "Under different circumstances, sure, something might have happened but..." Then he fumbles his way thru the sentence "You can't change circumstances", stuttering and not seeming to know what he wants to say. He makes one of those "I'm disappointed but I'll try to look like I never wanted this anyway because I'm a good grateful boy"-poses, not facing the camera to mask his true feelings. It seems like season two Tim is this completely resigned guy who stayed at Wernham Hogg because he's too coward to go to university, and he's too coward to be honest about his feelings in front of everyone, so he'll date Rachel who attracts him on a superficial level, and then just as he dumps Rachel, Dawn's leaving and it's too late. I can sort of see why it leads to the desperate leap he makes now.
Suddenly Tim just gets up and says, "Excuse me." The camera wobbles as it follows him down the hallway. He asks Dawn into the meeting room and takes off his microphone. And then they talk, and the camera follows them from behind the Venetian blinds. Sure, we've seen Brent behind his Venetian blinds, so it's not something completely new for the show, but it does give a nice documentary feel that they can just choose to take off the microphones and have a life outside of the documentary too. Tim talks. Dawn looks really sad. They hug for a long time, and Dawn looks away longingly. Tim walks away without looking back and Dawn looks after him still with the sadness in her eyes. In total silence. It's a very powerful scene, and a realistic one. Dawn rejects Tim out of loyalty for Lee, who totally doesn't deserve it. And this happens in real life too, and it's a good conclusion for their story, and in my opinion it was a cop-out to make the Christmas special and have them get together. Yes, it was what the viewers wanted to see, which is exactly why they shouldn't have done it. Keep it painful, keep it a non-conclusion, because that's how life is.
Tim, looking like he's about to cry, sits down at his desk. He turns the microphone back on, and we suddenly hear the mishmash of office sounds again, which seems downright disturbing after the silence. "She said no, by the way," says Tim straight into the microphone, and then just looks away from the camera almost tearily. This is when the viewer feels like an itnruder, like the cameras went where they weren't supposed to go, and filmed something very private between two people. And might this be a commentary of documentary crews and pushy TV shows about private things? Yes, it might. Brilliant scenes there.
Back to the main story, then, the fall and decline of David Brent. Jennifer and Neil sit down opposite to him in his office - still his for a fleeting moment. "You alright, David?" asks Neil politely, but not too cordially. "Yeah, fine. You?" says David in a downright positive tone. He's apparently decided to walk tall and keep his flag up high through all his ordeals. "Good. Small talk done," he says, which is kinda blunt and silly, but also shows that he wants to be in charge of the discussion. "Um, everyone really appreciates what you've done," says Neil in a faltering voice, as if he's sad to let David go. "Do you?" asks David, trying to belittle the compliment, which probably wasn't entirely honest anyway. He puts his arm on the desk and looks at Neil in a challenging way, just to show that he's still boss in this room, if only for today. Jennifer looks uncomfortable. Neil decides to get the point. He shows David a sheet of paper with the "redundancy offer" there. Well, as David established earlier, it's not a real offer, is it? Just call it a golden handshake like everybody else. David glances at it as if it's hard for him to see the written proof that he's really being let go. And it probably is. "More than I expected," he says. "We've been quite generous," says Neil. Well - what does that mean exactly? That they're giving him more than he deserves? That they're so noble even if he's been a terrible employee? I don't think that's what he's trying to say, but to an over-analytical recapper, it comes off this way. "Bada bing," says David in an inflated, sad tone. Awww. Neil suggests that David leave on "the 3rd, which is a Tuesday". Nice and vague, could be any month, any year. Yet it sounds like a real conversation about a real date. It's a small touch, but I like it. Neil asks if David wants to come back to the party on Friday. "Whatever," says David looking at his desk.
And now follows the saddest moment ever on The Office, at least for me. Dawn and Tim aren't as sad; they took a risk, and Dawn made a choice, and they can live with that even if it hurts. But David just doesn't get it. He doesn't see what he's done wrong. He doesn't understand his negligence and poor leadership skills, his utterly unprofessional attitude on everything. He just feels rejected, alone, and meaningless. It's obvious when Neil shakes his hand and he grabs it: "Don't make me redundant." He casts down his eyes as the camera zooms in on him, but he can't help but beg. "Please." Neil looks genuinely sad and compassionate. He's a good guy. "Look, David...," he starts, but David starts desperately babbling: "I've changed my mind, I don't want this, I don't want redundancy. I haven't signed anything." Yes, but they fired you. It's not really your place to say anything. The decision has been made. You practically begged for it earlier with the defiance of Neil. "Well, David, unfortunately this isn't really up to you. Sorry," says Neil sadly. As much as I despised him in the episode where he was being lewd and drinking it up with Finchy, I must say I admire him here. He's firm but kind, and he doesn't seem to take any pleasure in David's demise.
But David isn't done yet. "Alright then, well I'm asking. Please don't make me redundant." He's beginning to look like he's about to cry, now that he can see how final this is. "You can... you can talk to someone, Jenny." Jenny, kindly yet firmly: "The wheels are already in motion..." But David's desperate and he'll continue, even if it makes no sense: "No, stop them, cos..." Neil decides to put an end to it: "David, we will not discuss this now..." David: "No, put just say it's not definite now. Before you go. And we can... I will try twice as hard. I really will. I know I've been complacent and all. I'll turn this place around if you just say that it's not definite now, and then we can... You know, not go in until... Just starting from now. Starting from now." It's obvious that he's fighting back tears now. Jenny looks at him compassionately. Neil looks down, but then glances at Jenny and looks at David, as if he's gained his composure. He seems more affected by this speech than Jenny, maybe because it was his decision. Maybe, like all good people, he's going over everything in his mind and asking: Could I have stopped this? If I had acted different towards him, if I had given him a little more patience... Dead silence as Jenny and Neil look at David, and he's still hunched over his desk, begging them.
That was one powerful scene. And yes, David behaved in a ridiculous way, but I can't laugh. It felt like watching a tragedy unfold. Obviously the job means everything to David, and losing it means losing his whole life. He screwed it up, but he doesn't really understand how or why. Do I believe he deserved to be fired? Yes, absolutely. He's a terible boss and the employees deserve better. Tho writing that I'm not sure they do - most of them seem to be doing a bored, half-assed job anyway. And do I believe he'd turn it around? No, I absolutely don't. He'd get cocky and pretend he fought against Neil and won, and he'd treat Neil even more like dirt later on. Maybe he knows this. Maybe Neil knows this too. I feel a lot of compassion for David, but I also feel justice ws served, and that he should suck it up because he brought it upon himself. It's hard to be 100 % compassionate to someone who's caused all of his problems himself and never took the time to think before it was too late. Or maybe we should really be more compassionate of a person who's so totally lost?
The last of the David interviews. "Life is just a series of peaks and drops." We see the employees working as David talks. We see the boredom of the office. We see Dawn leaning on her desk, looking like she's lost the chance of a lifetime, saying no to Tim. David says you don't know if you're at the bottom "until you're climbing out, or on a peak until you're coming down." That's actually unusually clever of David. We see Tim looking ahead of him as if with blind eyes, unable to focus on work or anything, because his heart is broken. Awww, poor Tim. "And that's it, you know, you never know what's around the corner." Now we see David, red-faced and tired-looking, forever trying to justify everything he does. "But it's all good. You know. Um, 'If... you want the rainbow, you've gotta put up with the rain.'" Nod to the camera, the old look of complacency again, knowing he's said something truly wise. And as usual, it's not that wise. "Do you know which 'philosopher' said that? Dolly Parton." Glancing at the cameraman and interviewer to see their surprised looks. "And people think she's just a big pair of tits." He looks at the camera in disgust, as if those people are so bad, even if he's the one who just suggested that Dolly Parton is just tits, and a) mentioning it and b) saying it in that way isn't exactly a sign that he completely disagrees. I love him. Our own oblivious, self-aggrandizing, ignorant hero. One of the truest characters ever.
In the last scene after the credits, we see Dawn staring ahead as the phone rings. She doesn't even seem to notice at first, then she picks it up and says tiredly, "Hello, Wernham Hogg." Life goes on, even if your heart is broken. Even if Dawn leaves, someone will continue to answer the phones at Wernham Hogg. The company moves on, even if the employees are replaced.
Wow. This was a great finish to the show. And yes, I will recap the Christmas specials, I just don't think it's the same anymore. To me, this is the true ending of the series, this bittersweet sadness that rewards the viewers with realism instead of happy endings. I loved it.
I think I'm going to do the deleted scenes still today and go on with the Christmas specials in a few days. After the Christmas specials, I'll do the brilliant Microsoft videos. I will miss recapping the show itself though. I feel like writing THE END here, but it isn't. So it's see you soon from me.
Timterview. He says he didn't ask Dawn out as a date, which we've all heard before. He claims he was trying to make her feel better because of the fight with Lee. Right, because he did say "Now that you broke up with Lee," which totally means, "Since Lee's giving you a hard time, can I make it up to you?" He continues, "Under different circumstances, sure, something might have happened but..." Then he fumbles his way thru the sentence "You can't change circumstances", stuttering and not seeming to know what he wants to say. He makes one of those "I'm disappointed but I'll try to look like I never wanted this anyway because I'm a good grateful boy"-poses, not facing the camera to mask his true feelings. It seems like season two Tim is this completely resigned guy who stayed at Wernham Hogg because he's too coward to go to university, and he's too coward to be honest about his feelings in front of everyone, so he'll date Rachel who attracts him on a superficial level, and then just as he dumps Rachel, Dawn's leaving and it's too late. I can sort of see why it leads to the desperate leap he makes now.
Suddenly Tim just gets up and says, "Excuse me." The camera wobbles as it follows him down the hallway. He asks Dawn into the meeting room and takes off his microphone. And then they talk, and the camera follows them from behind the Venetian blinds. Sure, we've seen Brent behind his Venetian blinds, so it's not something completely new for the show, but it does give a nice documentary feel that they can just choose to take off the microphones and have a life outside of the documentary too. Tim talks. Dawn looks really sad. They hug for a long time, and Dawn looks away longingly. Tim walks away without looking back and Dawn looks after him still with the sadness in her eyes. In total silence. It's a very powerful scene, and a realistic one. Dawn rejects Tim out of loyalty for Lee, who totally doesn't deserve it. And this happens in real life too, and it's a good conclusion for their story, and in my opinion it was a cop-out to make the Christmas special and have them get together. Yes, it was what the viewers wanted to see, which is exactly why they shouldn't have done it. Keep it painful, keep it a non-conclusion, because that's how life is.
Tim, looking like he's about to cry, sits down at his desk. He turns the microphone back on, and we suddenly hear the mishmash of office sounds again, which seems downright disturbing after the silence. "She said no, by the way," says Tim straight into the microphone, and then just looks away from the camera almost tearily. This is when the viewer feels like an itnruder, like the cameras went where they weren't supposed to go, and filmed something very private between two people. And might this be a commentary of documentary crews and pushy TV shows about private things? Yes, it might. Brilliant scenes there.
Back to the main story, then, the fall and decline of David Brent. Jennifer and Neil sit down opposite to him in his office - still his for a fleeting moment. "You alright, David?" asks Neil politely, but not too cordially. "Yeah, fine. You?" says David in a downright positive tone. He's apparently decided to walk tall and keep his flag up high through all his ordeals. "Good. Small talk done," he says, which is kinda blunt and silly, but also shows that he wants to be in charge of the discussion. "Um, everyone really appreciates what you've done," says Neil in a faltering voice, as if he's sad to let David go. "Do you?" asks David, trying to belittle the compliment, which probably wasn't entirely honest anyway. He puts his arm on the desk and looks at Neil in a challenging way, just to show that he's still boss in this room, if only for today. Jennifer looks uncomfortable. Neil decides to get the point. He shows David a sheet of paper with the "redundancy offer" there. Well, as David established earlier, it's not a real offer, is it? Just call it a golden handshake like everybody else. David glances at it as if it's hard for him to see the written proof that he's really being let go. And it probably is. "More than I expected," he says. "We've been quite generous," says Neil. Well - what does that mean exactly? That they're giving him more than he deserves? That they're so noble even if he's been a terrible employee? I don't think that's what he's trying to say, but to an over-analytical recapper, it comes off this way. "Bada bing," says David in an inflated, sad tone. Awww. Neil suggests that David leave on "the 3rd, which is a Tuesday". Nice and vague, could be any month, any year. Yet it sounds like a real conversation about a real date. It's a small touch, but I like it. Neil asks if David wants to come back to the party on Friday. "Whatever," says David looking at his desk.
And now follows the saddest moment ever on The Office, at least for me. Dawn and Tim aren't as sad; they took a risk, and Dawn made a choice, and they can live with that even if it hurts. But David just doesn't get it. He doesn't see what he's done wrong. He doesn't understand his negligence and poor leadership skills, his utterly unprofessional attitude on everything. He just feels rejected, alone, and meaningless. It's obvious when Neil shakes his hand and he grabs it: "Don't make me redundant." He casts down his eyes as the camera zooms in on him, but he can't help but beg. "Please." Neil looks genuinely sad and compassionate. He's a good guy. "Look, David...," he starts, but David starts desperately babbling: "I've changed my mind, I don't want this, I don't want redundancy. I haven't signed anything." Yes, but they fired you. It's not really your place to say anything. The decision has been made. You practically begged for it earlier with the defiance of Neil. "Well, David, unfortunately this isn't really up to you. Sorry," says Neil sadly. As much as I despised him in the episode where he was being lewd and drinking it up with Finchy, I must say I admire him here. He's firm but kind, and he doesn't seem to take any pleasure in David's demise.
But David isn't done yet. "Alright then, well I'm asking. Please don't make me redundant." He's beginning to look like he's about to cry, now that he can see how final this is. "You can... you can talk to someone, Jenny." Jenny, kindly yet firmly: "The wheels are already in motion..." But David's desperate and he'll continue, even if it makes no sense: "No, stop them, cos..." Neil decides to put an end to it: "David, we will not discuss this now..." David: "No, put just say it's not definite now. Before you go. And we can... I will try twice as hard. I really will. I know I've been complacent and all. I'll turn this place around if you just say that it's not definite now, and then we can... You know, not go in until... Just starting from now. Starting from now." It's obvious that he's fighting back tears now. Jenny looks at him compassionately. Neil looks down, but then glances at Jenny and looks at David, as if he's gained his composure. He seems more affected by this speech than Jenny, maybe because it was his decision. Maybe, like all good people, he's going over everything in his mind and asking: Could I have stopped this? If I had acted different towards him, if I had given him a little more patience... Dead silence as Jenny and Neil look at David, and he's still hunched over his desk, begging them.
That was one powerful scene. And yes, David behaved in a ridiculous way, but I can't laugh. It felt like watching a tragedy unfold. Obviously the job means everything to David, and losing it means losing his whole life. He screwed it up, but he doesn't really understand how or why. Do I believe he deserved to be fired? Yes, absolutely. He's a terible boss and the employees deserve better. Tho writing that I'm not sure they do - most of them seem to be doing a bored, half-assed job anyway. And do I believe he'd turn it around? No, I absolutely don't. He'd get cocky and pretend he fought against Neil and won, and he'd treat Neil even more like dirt later on. Maybe he knows this. Maybe Neil knows this too. I feel a lot of compassion for David, but I also feel justice ws served, and that he should suck it up because he brought it upon himself. It's hard to be 100 % compassionate to someone who's caused all of his problems himself and never took the time to think before it was too late. Or maybe we should really be more compassionate of a person who's so totally lost?
The last of the David interviews. "Life is just a series of peaks and drops." We see the employees working as David talks. We see the boredom of the office. We see Dawn leaning on her desk, looking like she's lost the chance of a lifetime, saying no to Tim. David says you don't know if you're at the bottom "until you're climbing out, or on a peak until you're coming down." That's actually unusually clever of David. We see Tim looking ahead of him as if with blind eyes, unable to focus on work or anything, because his heart is broken. Awww, poor Tim. "And that's it, you know, you never know what's around the corner." Now we see David, red-faced and tired-looking, forever trying to justify everything he does. "But it's all good. You know. Um, 'If... you want the rainbow, you've gotta put up with the rain.'" Nod to the camera, the old look of complacency again, knowing he's said something truly wise. And as usual, it's not that wise. "Do you know which 'philosopher' said that? Dolly Parton." Glancing at the cameraman and interviewer to see their surprised looks. "And people think she's just a big pair of tits." He looks at the camera in disgust, as if those people are so bad, even if he's the one who just suggested that Dolly Parton is just tits, and a) mentioning it and b) saying it in that way isn't exactly a sign that he completely disagrees. I love him. Our own oblivious, self-aggrandizing, ignorant hero. One of the truest characters ever.
In the last scene after the credits, we see Dawn staring ahead as the phone rings. She doesn't even seem to notice at first, then she picks it up and says tiredly, "Hello, Wernham Hogg." Life goes on, even if your heart is broken. Even if Dawn leaves, someone will continue to answer the phones at Wernham Hogg. The company moves on, even if the employees are replaced.
Wow. This was a great finish to the show. And yes, I will recap the Christmas specials, I just don't think it's the same anymore. To me, this is the true ending of the series, this bittersweet sadness that rewards the viewers with realism instead of happy endings. I loved it.
I think I'm going to do the deleted scenes still today and go on with the Christmas specials in a few days. After the Christmas specials, I'll do the brilliant Microsoft videos. I will miss recapping the show itself though. I feel like writing THE END here, but it isn't. So it's see you soon from me.
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