Season 1, Episode 6, Part 4: "What About Us?"

Gareth walks into David's office. David adjusts his pants again - buy some pants that feel comfortable, David - and sits down. "So you're definitely leaving then?" says Gareth, trying to sound casual. "It would appear so," says David uber-formally. "What about us?" Gareth asks. "Nothing going on between us," says David quickly and glances at the camera. "No, not like that," they both say quickly, because THEY ARE SO NOT GAY! Not one bit. So don't go getting any ideas. "You know, but we're a team," says Gareth. They repeat the assistant (to the) regional manager bit, which imo isn't funny anymore, even if it serves to highlight Gareth's pathetic need for any power he can get. Gareth asks if he can still be David's assistant. Hee, does he really think the assistant part will stay on when David leaves the office? Is it even something official? David doesn't seem to think so as he says he will get "a proper assistant.. a PA." "A lady?" suggests Gareth. "Hopefully, yeah," David says. "Not for that," he adds as he remembers the camera is there. Well, for what, then? Because women are naturally better at being assitants and secretaries? Better than having a female partner in the firm, at least!

Gareth asks, stammeringly because he's about to cry, if he can be Neil's assistant. That strikes me as particularly desperate, and I suddenly feel sorry for Gareth. David had the second season scene where he begs to keep his job. This is similar. This is Gareth's Very Sad Moment. David tries to cheer Gareth up by telling him Neil's assistant, "Terry something", used to be in the army. However, it backfires when Gareth finds out it was the army army, not territorial army. His eyes are red and his voice falters as he asks for the guy's rank. "Sergeant, I think," says David softly and uneasily. "What are you?" "Lieutenant, sir," says Gareth. He's crying now. David casts a side glance at the camera and looks down. "Anyway..." he says. He really can't handle a grown man crying next to him, and he's not particularly good at comforting people, as we saw from the "Dawn, you're fired" scene. Of course, he was causing the crying that time, but he doesn't seem any less embarrassed here.

"That's it, then, is it? The old team on the scrap heap. It's all gone," Gareth says, crying. Aww, poor Gareth. Assistant to the regional manager was all he had. He's looking down and his face looks utterly miserable. I feel it's almost cruel the camera team is still there filming it, which bodes well for the realism in this situation. "Gareth, come on," says David, looking at the camera a bit. He seems annoyed more than anything that a man is crying on camera in his office. "You're a soldier. Yeah? Eh? Stiff upper lip and all that!" Yeah, that really sums up Gareth. "The Dam Busters! Squadron never dies, does it?" Gareth says he has the movie on video. David acts like that should take all his worries away, which... It really doesn't have anything to do with their situation, because the movie is about the British army attacking the Nazis. However, it seems to be a fairly good way of getting Gareth to stop crying - not particularly comforting, but soothing nonetheless. I'm surprised David thought of it.

"And before he goes into battle, he's playing with his dog and everything," says David excitedly and mimicks petting a dog. I love Ricky Gervais' body language. "Nigger," says Gareth, smiling through his tears. David quickly explains that it was the dog's name, and "it was the 40's, so it was before racism was bad." The reason that racism is bad, of course, is that it's a social faux pas, not because it's discrimination or anything. David's comment just makes things worse, as if he approves of racism in the old days. Gareth adds, "The dog's name was Nigger" like a little kid who's still trying to comfort himself. "Don't keep saying it," says David, concerned that the viewers at home will see them as racist. I wouldn't worry about it at this point; we already saw a whole season of their attitudes on minorities and women, and it ain't pretty.

As soon as this topic is dealt with, Gareth starts weeping again. There's always something little boy-like about him, but crying makes him even more childlike and vulnerable, and it makes my heart melt for him, even if I know he's a sexist, racist, homophobic, clueless asshole. I can't bring myself to hate him when I've seen him cry like this. David looks like he doesn't know what to do, then he tells Gareth to take something from his office: "A memento from me to you. Take something, anything you want." His smile at the camera reveals that he thinks he's making a very generous offer. But when Gareth wants the guitar, David tells him to pick "stationary or something I can reorder". Wow, heartwarming. Nothing says "I'll miss you too" more like stationary.

Gareth picks the hole puncher, "that's always handy." It is, even if you'd think he already has one. David picks up the puncher and presents it to Gareth ceremoniously. He glances at the camera again, just to show that he, David Brent, made this great gesture. Seriously, he looks like he's presenting an award. "Bloody good one, that," he says and makes a few hole punching motions with his hand. Hee! Gareth, still weeping a bit, opens the puncher from the corner for no apparent reason. Some of the paper bits drop on the floor. David actually used that thing? Probably just to file his game show ideas into one big binder. "Oh! like confetti," says Gareth and starts picking it up. David looks a bit annoyed that he's spreading paper bits in his office. "Could be used as confetti, yeah. Check with a priest first, always," says David. Hee! I'd like to think he's just humoring Gareth, but more probably he actually considered using it as confetti. "Don't get it on the carpet, Gareth," he says in an annoyed tone. Gareth picks up the paper bits.

This whole scene has a funny dynamic, like David is the older teacher leaving the school and Gareth is the sad student that nobody likes but the teacher, and who will be lonely when he leaves. Sadly, it kinda is like that, because Gareth sees David of all people as a mentor and probably the only person in the office who truly likes him. I suddenly feel very sad.