Season 1, Episode 1, Part 2: "I'm a Sales Rep

The scene cuts to a Tim interview – a Timterview. Tim and Dawn are generally the only ones who don't embarrass themselves in these interviews. Sadly, we don't have very many Dawnterviews this season. Tim starts to describe his job as a sales rep, which includes talking to clients about quantity and price of paper. He's talking slowly, sounding really tired, and then admits he's boring himself just talking about it. Poor Tim. He deserves a better job.

David comes to Tim and Gareth's desk and shouts, “Whazzuup!” at Tim. “Whazzuup, I love that,” Tim says benevolently, even if we know he's just sucking up. David points at Gareth: “You're fired Keenan! Drunkard! -Hypocrite warning!” he points at himself. He laughs and looks at Tim for a response. “Hypocrite warning” is one of the most laughable – and not in a good way – David jokes. It pretends to be self-deprecating, but the real meaning of it is to show off and make him look cool. I think he just really wants to show Tim what a popular guy he is, going out with his employees. He laughs awkwardly, because even Gareth doesn't laugh, just smiles at it. “What's he been saying? It's all true! Guilty as charged!” He rubs Gareth's shoulders a bit, which looks weird. Mackenzie Crook, who plays Gareth, mentioned in a documentary how he likes to touch and it can be a bit disturbing. I wonder if that was one of those moments. David launches into a story about how he went out with Gareth and his mates and Gareth had warned him his buddies can get a bit rowdy after drinking, “I was worst in the end, they just left didn't they!” He laughs loud and boyishly and this time it sounds close to Ricky Gervais' real laughter. David says Gareth had to admit this nutjob is his boss. Leave it to David to think it's somehow a good sign if people actually leave because you annoy them so badly.

Tim looks weirded out, but he gets even more confused when David says in a hoarse voice, “Dissolve!!” and laughs. As he's leaving, he turns and says, “What?” Hee, my brother used to do that too when he told a bad joke. At, like, the age of 6. “Nothing,” says Tim. He has a little book in his hand that looks like a traveller's dictionary. He's been leafing through it the whole time. It's the equivalent of Dawn's computer that she kept checking while David was talking. David plays with his tie. He must have touched it about twenty times already. He leaves rather awkwardly, as if he'd like to stay but can't think of anything more to say, since Tim isn't responding to his jokes. Doesn't he have work to do?

Copier copying papers. Fitting for a paper company. We hear Jennifer's voice before we see her. She tells Dawn to call maintenance, because there's a nasty smell in the lift. A nice line that isn't trying to be funny, just a normal part of office life, documentary-like. Dawn's desk is seen from the side and we can see a picture of her and Lee. Cute. Except that Lee sucks, but besides that, it seems believable she'd have a picture like that. David voice-overs that the head office doesn't interfere with him at all (which might explain why he still has his job). He says Jennifer might drop by. “Jennifer Taylor Clarke – I call her Camilla Parker Bowles. Not to her face. Not cos I'm scared of her.” I love how he always has to add an explanation like that, even when everyone must know he's joking.

As David sits down with Jennifer, he tells her Nobby Burton came down with a briefcase, “Two for a tenner, so – yes please! Four!” He's showing his tie. Jennifer laughs, and since I just saw the documentary, I know they did this take many times, and Ricky Gervais was always changing the line: “Wally Burton” turned into “Nobby Burton”, then “deaf Nobby Burton”, and someone always burst out laughing. It's especially funny because it's not even the point of the scene. It's just the idea that David has to come up with something self-absorbed to say when Jennifer comes to visit. Something that has absolutely nothing to do with work. Anyhow, Dawn sits down and they start the meeting, and of course David has to mug for the camera: “OK, meeting with Jennifer Taylor Clarke. Present...” Jennifer cuts him off and asks if he wants to add anything to the agenda. David says, “Did noo get an agenda.” I don't know who he's doing here. Jennifer doesn't understand. “Did not get an agenda, noo.” She said she faxed it, and David turns to Dawn, indignant that he wasn't given the fax: “Because a company runs on the efficiency of communication.” He smiles at Jennifer, obviously thinking he said something really deep and professional again. “You put it in the bin, that was your special filing cabinet..?” she shyly replies. “As a joke, yeah,” says David, still smirking. He says it's not even his joke, but I don't catch whose joke he says it is. “It's meant for bills, doesn't really work with faxes.” Jennifer isn't too amused, but as usual, she goes straight down to business and shows David her copy. I like Jennifer. She seems firm and smart, but not too aggressive. Just a really professional person, the opposite of David.

David interviews: “Sure, she says she's the boss, but there should be .. no.. ego.. when you're pulling together.. to do something good. Yeah?” Yeah. And there's definitely no ego in David's behaviour. When he talks this slowly, it always sounds like he's making it up while he's going along, which he probably is. When I was a kid, my best friend would always try to lie to me and she'd do this exact thing. “We got a new kid in the class today... her name was... Jane... Cr..Croissant...” He says i'ts like Comic Relief, i.e. British charity work. He makes a really inappropriate comparison between being in Africa with the “flies and starvation” and Jennifer being in the studio counting the money, “Good luck to them but their hands are clean.” So are his! He never does any work! “While I'm down here in the office with little starving kids.” Hee! He always makes his metaphors way too literal, so they get ludicrous. This is just one example of David using charity to show what a good person he is, and failing miserably. He looks away from the camera, apparently at the interviewer, intensely as if he wants them to think of the little starving kids. He's doing it all for the children.

Back in the meeting, Jennifer tells David that one of the branches has to be downsized, either this one in Slough or Neil's branch in Swindon. David is listening to Jennifer intensely, with a ridiculously fake-looking pose, his index finger on his brow. As he hears about one branch being closed down, David starts muttering, “This is it.. alarm bells...should be good..” Jennifer needs to reassure him at this point to just keep listening. Well, he did listen to her for a whole sentence without interrupting. Now he keeps cutting her off with completely unnecessary interjections. “Don't panic, we haven't..” “I don't panic, but..” “We haven't made any decisions..” “Good.”

Jennifer said there will be redundancies. David takes this opportunity to showcase how much he cares about his staff and doesn't wish redundancies on Neil's “men”, or his “men.. or women.. present company excepted.” So he does wish it for Jennifer and Dawn? He asks if Neil is worried about redundancies. Jennifer says he is. David says good, but I think he's really just trying to say he cares MORE about redundancies than Neil, when he starts going on about how he hates letting people go, even if he knows “as a businessman” - hee! - that they are necessary. Jennifer cuts him off, because he's really just babbling to the camera. David says smugly that they have to talk about it sooner or later. Jennifer says what they have to decide now is whether Slough takes the Swindon people, or Swindon takes the Slough people. David thinks it's his decision and says, “We take on them.” Jennifer says, “No, you and I don't decide. I decide once you've made your case.” I love Jennifer. She doesn't take any of David's bullshit. David says, “based on facts”, as if he needs to finish Jennifer's sentences, because he's always one step ahead of her in thinking of the business stuff.

They're cut off by David's phone ringing and he lets it go to his answering machine, even if that turns out to be a mistake. David's answering machine is predictably very lame: “Hi mate, not around at the moment, so please leave a MASSAGE.” David grins at Jennifer like it's a very witty message. Who has a message like that in their WORK phone? -David Brent. No one else would even think it's appropriate. Jennifer looks like she's going to laugh, and again, I think it's the actress, not Jennifer who finds it funny. It's Finchy, who's using his work time on leaving a seedy message for his drinking buddy. “Chris Finch, bloody good rep,” says David to Jennifer. “Hear you got a hangover, you big puff”, says Finch. “That's derogatory, that's a shame,” says David, because Jennifer and the camera are there. Sadly, Finch starts talking about Jennifer: “Give her one for me. And stop looking up her skirt!” Jennifer says sternly, “David!” and David replies guiltily, “I wasn't looking up your skirt!” Hee! The camera is a bit below them, so you can see Jennifer's legs and her rather short skirt, which I imagine David has mentioned to Finchy. Jennifer, ever the professional boss, acts like she didn't hear the business about her skirt and just tells David to keep a lid on it. David says “under this regime” this will not leave his office. And of course we cut to anonymous workers discussing what redundancy means and being very worried. Keith would leave, and he asks “'dyou?” which I decipher as “would you?” when the woman next to him – a small, slim woman who looks like the opposite of big Keith – says “I dunno.”

Tim and Dawn are having a hushed conversation about everyone else having hushed conversations, and Tim says he “couldn't give a shit” if he gets fired. I think he's hoping he will be. The camera moves on to Gareth who's chewing gum and spinning some of it in his fingers grossly – until he notices the camera, puts away the gum, and tries to act dignified again. He acts like he's really focusing on something on his computer screen. Hee! Gareth's skinny face and eye bags always make me feel sorry for him, even if he's kind of a creep.

Ricky the Temp is waiting for David to come up, looking around him. I don't think he's very impressed by what he's seeing. Ricky introduces himself to David, who looks confused until Ricky tells him he's from the temp agency. “Good. Temporary.. staff... only...” David says. His tone implies it's somehow amusing, but Dawn just looks confused. David asks Ricky if Dawn told him how mad he is. “Yeah she said you had a nervous breakdown,” jokes Ricky, but David gets defensive again: “I haven't had a nervous breakdown!” Dawn looks up from her book, alarmed. Ricky hastily explains that was just a joke, “she said you're a good laugh and..” yeah, I'm sure that's what she said. I think it might have been something like, “When he jokes you'd better laugh”, but it's close enough. David calms down, realizing he hasn't been bashed behind his back after all, and says they all are laughs: “Part of my job description, unofficially..” then he promises to show Ricky around. “Into the frey!” he shouts and laughs. He's really annoying. He's what I imagine my Dad is like at work. He jokes just like this and he's a boss at his job, so I can just hear the fake laughs from the embarrassed employees.

David interviews: “What upsets me about the job? Umm..” He takes a moment to think about how to turn the question around so that he can praise himself some more and then says: “Wasted.. talent. Yeah?” By which he means that people could come to him and ask “[blabla jargon about running a team]”. “But they don't. That's the tragedy.” And a smug look at the camera. I love how he does that, just looking at the interviewer off camera, then closing his eyes, and when he opens them they're looking into the camera. His lips pursed smugly. He thinks he's coming off so smart.