Tim and Dawn are going through some printouts Gareth made for the sign of 'his office', even if David told him not to make the sign. Apparently Gareth was stupid enough to not only print out every single alternative, but also leave the prints where everyone can see them. Tim introduces them to the camera while Dawn giggles at them: “Investigation Room” and “Investigation Office,” “Interrogation Room” and “Interrogation Office”. “He really lost it here”, Tim says as he lifts one that says: “ 'Quiet please!' Invetigation in process!” I love how 'quiet please' is in quotation marks. It's like the sign is quoting someone. “Silence – Interrogation! That's frightening.” The one he picked was “Investigation and Meeting Room”, which is now on the door. Tim shows us his personal favorite: “Gareth Keenan Investigates!” Hee! That's like the name of a detective show, which is probably exactly the effect Gareth was going for. How long did he spend on making these signs? He could have solved the whole “mystery” in the time it took to do that. At this point, Gareth comes out of the room and asks Tim and Dawn to keep it quiet, not noticing which papers Tim is holding. Tim asks him how the “invetigation” is going, and Gareth doesn't notice the difference, just says “Good.” Tim asks if he needs a deputy. Gareth says he already has one. Sheila comes to the door and says hi to Tim and Dawn. Sheila's the deputy? “Keep it down,” says Gareth importantly.
David and Jennifer walk down in the warehouse. There are high stacks of stuff everywhere. Jennifer says it looks scary and David shouldn't tie any more money down in the warehouse. She thinks David should fire someone else down here. David calls out to a guy, “Taffy! Taffy!” No reaction, so he says, “Glynn!” “What?” says a stocky guy in a blue overall. “We all call him Taffy,” David says to Jennifer. Yeah, that would explain why he doesn't identify with it at all. He doesn't tell the guy anything, I suppose he was only trying to say hi. He tells Jennifer how no one is dispensible, and the organization is like “one big organism, one big animal.” He says the guys down here are the hands, and the guys in the office are the mouth. “What part are you?” asks Jennifer. “Good question. Maybe the humor,” says David. Right, because animals are known for their well-developed humor organs. And humans too, for that matter. David never thinks through these things before he says them.
Investigation and Meeting room. Gareth is interrogating Donna, but what he's really doing is trying to impress her. He does it the same way David would do: by talking about himself. Show, don't tell, Gareth. He tells Donna people look at him and think, “Oo, he's tough, he was in the army, he's gonna be hard, by the book.” Sure they do! Just like all women find him hot. Gareth defines himself by his time in the territorial army, so he expects everyone else to. Which is sad, but funny. He tells Donna he's actually sensitive and caring, “Isn't Schindler's List a brilliant film?” Donna says “Yeah”, sounding a bit suspicious, as if she fears Gareth will ask her to see it at his place or something. Which he might. Gareth says people think “a strong man can't be sensitive”, and... in what way is he strong? He might have better luck with Donna if he weren't so transparent. Who says all girls want a “sensitive” guy? And isn't she gonna notice you lied when you treat her like you treat Rachel in season 2... But I'm getting ahead of myself. Donna cuts him off and asks what this is about. Gareth claims it's about the picture “of David with two blokes juicing on him.” Oo, sensitive! Donna says she thought he was sucking one of them. Gareth shows him that it's really just juicing. That was really necessary. Donna says she didn't do it. Gareth says he's happy they had this little talk. He continues, “Don't think of me as your boss...” “You're not,” says Donna. Hee! Gareth claims he is, and offers her this oxymoron: “Don't think of me as a boss, but know that I am.” I think he does want her to think of him as a boss. Donna says, “I don't think you are.” Gareth insists that since he is team leader, he is. His phone rings, and for the third time he picks it up without looking. Gareth, you are just begging for this! He tells Tim, “Alright, now seriously, just stop it.” How about you stop falling for it first? He gathers himself a bit and looks back at Donna, smiling. Donna looks back with a pitying look on her face and then looks out the window of the room. I feel sorry for Donna. Well, I feel sorry for anyone working with Gareth, really.
Gareth interviews that he's had many office romances - “not here”, he quickly adds, in case the crew might check it from the other employees. “Good-looking ones, as well.” But he's not really into office romances, “it's like shitting on your own doorstep.” Lovely simile there, very sensitive again. He claims many people wanted a romance with him at this workplace, but it's “distracting.” Right. That's the only reason he won't do it with Donna. He manages to show his homophobia in a completely unrelated note about how gay men shouldn't be allowed in the army, not that he has a problem with that, but in a battle situation, they might look at him and think, “Oo, he looks tasty in his uniform!” Tasty?? And I'm sure there are better-looking guys in the army than Gareth. This reminds me of something a gay friend once told me. When he told his straight friend he's gay, the friend was surprised that he was so good at “hiding it” in locker rooms and such. I guess he hadn't considered that gays do not automatically get turned on by every guy they hang out with. Gareth tries to show how non-homophobic he is by listing names from his record collection: “Queen, George Michael, Pet Shop Boys.. they're all bummers!”
Warehouse. Men are watching a video of Lee's dog “shagging” someone else's dog. They're laughing heartily. Jennifer turns to Glyn and tells him that there will be cutbacks, but he only points at the TV and laughs. David is laughing with the guys, not realizing that he might sensitively tell them to listen to the boss. Jennifer remains polite and apologizes for the interruption. He asks about losing more staff, “I know you already lost Julie Anderton.” “I've never heard of her,” says Glyn. David says she opened a can of worms there, “Oh loyalty, when someone goes from this organization they no longer exist.” How is that loyalty? That's the opposite of loyalty. Jennifer realizes she's been lied to. David tries to play it off by saying, “You backed me into a corner and I had..to say..” He's so unprofessional. He acts like a schoolboy at the principal's office, making excuses. Glyn tells them to go back upstairs, because they're busy. Is this how he talks to his boss? “You don't look busy,” says Jennifer angrily. “Do you want me to get busy, love?” says Glyn. He suggests Jennifer sleep with his dog and the guys laugh. Does this kind of thing actually happen? Doesn't he know that she could fire him? Don't they have sexual harrassment cases in the UK? So weird. Jennifer wants a word with David right away, and she walks off angrily. “That was out of order in a way,” says David quietly. In a way? The guys just laugh at him for being busted. An older guy tells him Jennifer needs “a good shagging”. David just laughs and says he might have to now. The warehouse guys are just gross.
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