Boring work montage, including BEN whose name I will never again have a chance to use. Then the Number Bods. Keith is leaning back in his chair, laid back at work. Then the camera zooms in on Tim staring at Dawn longingly. And in on Dawn copying something, the sound of the photocopier really loud when no one's saying anything. And Tim again, playing with his lower lip and trying to look nonchalant. And Dawn again, copying and looking unhappy. And I really don't have much to say about this anymore. Scene.
Tim gets up and walks with his back straight to the kitchen to Rachel. She looks happy to see him, and he asks to talk with her for a moment. Rachel looks like she's anticipating a quickie in the broom closet, and follows him excitedly. The mic is still on as the camera follows them and Tim tells Rachel, "I just wanted to tell you and uh... I don't know how. And, uh, this is so hard." Rachel looks like she realizes this isn't going anywhere fun or kinky, and her face falls. Cut straight to Rachel crying and Emma comforting her. An unusually jumpy cut for The Office. Rachel's makeup has spread over her eyes and I feel sorry for her. Emma rubs her shoulder a bit, and we don't have to hear her to know she's saying, "He's a jerk - he's not worth you - there are other fish in the sea." The camera moves to Gareth, who's staring at the scene. He tells Tim, "Well done. She's crying." Um, I don't think it's any of your business, Gareth. "I know. Just leave it," says Tim. "It's always up to me to clean up your mess," says Gareth. What? When has Gareth ever, in the course of history, had to clean up Tim's mess? I can't think of one case. More the opposite. "Gareth, I'm begging you, just stay out of it, mate," says Tim, quite politely considering that Gareth's being kind of a jerk. Well, why am I saying 'kind of'? He's a class-A jerk, now and always. "Uh, no, you dumped her, so it's nothing to do with you anymore. She needs something to cheer her up," says Gareth. Oh god, he's taking Dirty Bertie out of the box again. That's probably the worst possible way to cheer someone up, especially a woman who just got dumped by her boyfriend. It's like when he told Dawn that if nobody else does, Monkey Alan from the warehouse fancies her.
"Don't take Dirty Bertie," says Tim in a low voice, probably thinking more about Rachel than Gareth, "Don't go at all. I'm begging you..." And when he realizes Gareth is going to go, no matter what Tim says: "Don't take Bertie." "Overruled!" says Gareth. Nice court language there to show Tim he's supposedly on top now. He's not a good judge of anything, least of all women. "Gareth, if you have to go, don't take Bertie, please," Tim pleads again. Maybe he does care about Gareth and his feelings too. Gareth looks at him and then lays Bertie on the table, as if it's very noble of him to do so. One more angry look at Tim, and he's off to see Rachel. "Hi," he says in a voice resembling compassion, but Rachel isn't having it. "Fuck off!" she says, and he turns back on his heels and walks to his desk with the same confident strides he was taking earlier. Poor Gareth. On the other hand, what an idiot. Did he really think Rachel would jump right into his arms the first thing when Tim leaves him? "Potty mouth," he says with his back already turned to Rachel. Tim looks at him tiredly as he resumes working. Smooth. And would Gareth ever tell him I'm sorry or You were right, I was a jerk to go over there? No, never. Tim's way too nice to him. I wonder if he's thinking about the job he gave away to Gareth.
David walks up to Emma, who's having a coffee break, and gives her his card. "Stay in touch," he says and does the "phone" gesture. Cool and hip! And modern! "Yeah, cheers," says Emma. David ruffles her hair as if she's ten. As he walks away, the camera stays on Emma. She looks after him with some surprise, and is obviously wondering what she's gonna do with that business card after he ceases to be her boss who never really cared about her in the first place.
David interview. "People can't believe I'm this happy to be leaving. And it's.. you know, it's not cos there's something wrong with it, you know that thing I did in the community center? As I was giving that motivational speech, I could literally see them all getting... all motivated...from it." Hee! How can you literally see that? If you can, it's through their work. And David hasn't seen those people work. He has seen them look at him incredulously and clap very vaguely. Well, actually he didn't see the "applause" part, since he ran out into the corridor as Tina was blasting. It's all bad. "And that's, you know, it's like being born again." Well, not exactly, unless your religion is... worshipping yourself? Or is he saying the others were born again just from hearing him speak? Hee! I love his megalomaniac notions, and how he doesn't even realize what he's saying half the time. I'll miss these interviews. "And it showed ME...how much...I HAD... to OFFER...other PEOPLE." He does say it like that. It's so emphatic, it's ridiculous. It's like he's still dictating to someone who's writing this down. Maybe his problem is that he's rehearsed all these little interviews and calculated what impact certain words will have on the viewers. It all sounds like a stage play sometimes.
Ray and Jude come for a visit. David introduces Helena to "the guys from Cooper & Webb, the management training consultants." He surprises me by remembering their names. He tells them Helena is writing "quite a big article" on him. It's probably been expanding throughout the day, at least in his head. "I mentioned our... thing, so... You don't mind if she sits in on this gig, do you?" Obviously David just wants Helena to get more soundbites of what a brilliant management trainer he is. Ray says they don't mind if he doesn't. Maybe he should have said it's kind of private, and negative, and he might be humiliated in front of Helena, but how can he say that without blurting out right away that he's fired from their gigs? So they just sit down, David beaming in his own brilliance, saying, "I'm Coolio. Okay." I'm sure Coolio really appreciates being compared to someone like David.
Dawn's desk. There's a picture of an orangutan, which is kind of cute, like a look into Dawn's life behind the desk. The phone rings and she picks up just as Stephen Merchant's Dad walks into the office in a blue overall. He's holding a bag of toilet paper rolls or whatever, and like before, he just stares at the camera. Brilliant. I like how both Stephen (as the voice of Oggy) and his father make a cameo in this episode. Neil and Gareth come out of the meeting room. Neil tells Gareth to give him a call if there are any problems, but he casts glances at Stephen Merchant's Dad and the camera. It's cute how a little thing like that is not a cause for, say, asking the guy what he's doing there or if they can help; he's just a bit of a disturbance to their daily routines. Business as usual at Wernham Hogg. Neil leaves, without forgetting to say bye to Dawn, and Gareth walks up to Tim saying, "Alright mate? Probably wondering who they're going to offer David's job. Me." Tim looks genuinely happy for Gareth and congratulates him with some perhaps unexpected warmth. However, Gareth starts with his ridiculous OCD regime right away and tells Tim he needs to start "bucking your ideas up, starting with... your appearance." He touches Tim's shirt and ruffles his hair with obvious despise. Tim stares at this monster he's created. "It's gonna be a well-oiled, tight ship in these here parts," says Gareth, and it sounds as ridiculous as it looks on the page. He exhales deeply in a way that he surely believes to be manly and filled with good leadership.
Back in David's office, Helena, who's obviously observant and interested in things going on around her as a journalist should be, asks Ray and Jude what sort of management training it is. Ray starts to answer, but David rudely cuts him off. "They use celebrity speakers, expert speakers, and my personal.. tip is my rise to the top, which gives it a whole new edge, so..." He makes an "arrow up" type gesture with both hands for rise and a swooping gesture for edge. I wouldn't exactly say "celebrity" speakers. Hey, who hasn't heard of Mark Frown of Sound Investments fame? And how is David's rise to the "top" a new edge? Seriously, they probably all have the same story. Started out as lower level employees, ended up as lower level managers. What gave his speech a whole new edge was his, eh, personal and unique style. David tells them, "Where are we? Shoot", as he would. I'd love it if they just took guns out of their suitcases and matter-of-factly shot him. But then this would be a Quentin Tarantino film. It's just so annoying when he says that. And he shows two pistols with his fingers, instead of one.
Jude looks uncomfortable and adjusts herself in the chair as Ray starts talking, "Um, we'd like to thank you very much for the time you've given us." David, looking flattered as if Ray had just said he was the best speaker they ever had, says, "No sweat, it's what I do." So... giving people time is what he does? I guess that works, except that he uses that time to make dumb jokes, so it's really all David Brent Coffee Time. "But we won't be using you again, I'm afraid," Ray continues. "You WON'T be?" says David, very surprised, and his smile instantly dies. The camera zooms a bit, and David's face goes thru a look of hurt and rejection. "Why not?" he asks in a hurt voice. "It's just... not exactly what we were looking for," says Ray in a rather sad, low voice. David goes into Desperate Babble Mode: "No, I know, but... I'll do it how you... I did it like that because that was the vibe of the day, wasn't it, and I just.. you know...but...I'll do it differently...how do you want me to do it?" Well, on that day you acted like it was a good thing that you do it the way you want to, and that they have to hold you back on stage. You kinda told them this is what you'd do every time, or even worse. It's too late to claim now that you'll do exactly what they say. And it's probably not even what they're looking for anyway. Ray says, "We have a very specific idea of what it is that we're looking for and..." Yeah, I guess that would be something like "Same old in a stylish package" and "Not humiliating Cooper & Webb with an incoherent babble type speech". And also "no Tina Turner".
Seeing that they really want to reject him, David becomes childish. It's sad, because it shows how much he really needed this gig for his self esteem, especially now that he lost his job. He was desperate a moment ago; now he's turned that into anger and "screw you all" attitude. "Oh, fucking hell!" he shouts. There's an awkward silence. Helena and Ray look down. Jude, interestingly, looks down at first but then turns to look at Ray. I wonder what their relationship is. Married? Dating? Or just friends? Is Jude looking at Ray for support, or to see what he's going to do next, or to ask with her eyes if he wants her to deal with this? It might be the latter, as she says shyly, "[ahem], we would like to say thank you..."
David who is, for once, picking up the fakeness of sentiment in the jargon, decides to make it obvious that he knows she doesn't mean it: "Ya ya ya ya," he says and makes 'yakking' motions with both hands. "Yada yada yada." He straightens his tie. A tie-straightening of disappointment? "Go on and get... Time wasters." I love how he sometimes doesn't finish even the simplest sentences. He just points to the door. "Again," he adds. No, David, you wasted their time. Your speech was terrible. You obviously hadn't prepared much. You made no sense. You tried to shine and be the star, but you couldn't deliver anything of value. So you know, they should be mad at you for giving the wrong idea of yourself. Though frankly, maybe they should have noticed during that first meeting that he wasn't what they wanted. Serves them right for listening to references from someone whose nickname is The Big Cock.
Jude tries to say something more, but David tells them to get out. "Wasting my...," he says again, and Ray and Jude look at him as if they should stay now in case he says something mature, but he just adds, "..time...," and they get up to leave in perfect silence and professionalism. They looked completely baffled and embarrassed at David's reaction, and I can imagine them talking about it vividly in the car. I bet they're glad to be rid of him. After they leave, David is still staring at a frightened Helena. She says, "You mean me as well?" "Yeah," says David quickly. Wow. He asked her to come in. He was a total ass about the interview. He's been getting on her nerves all day, and now he tells her to get out because she's wasting his time? I'd just walk out and say the story's off then, but Helena shyly asks if she can take a photo.
One of the most brilliant awkward moments on the show ensues as Helena first prepares the camera to take the photo, and then has to let the flashlight warm up for another photo, so she has a backup if the first one didn't work, and David's just sitting there brooding. Helena speaks in a little voice and nervously explains she has to wait for the flashlight. "Right," says David, who's really not mad at her, but could be more polite about all this. He doesn't even apologize for swearing or yelling or anything. So unprofessional. Helena seems to fear that he's going to yell at her any minute, and who could blame her? David, however, keeps cool and contains himself, probably because he's about to cry and he doesn't want to do that in front of Helena, let alone on camera. I feel sorry for them both. So awkward. David's pose, by the way? Arms crossed and one finger on his chin. Heee. I bet he thinks that makes him look like Confucius. Helena packs her stuff and leaves, still looking scared, and David, aware of the camera, just sits there sternly. The camera pans behind him and we see him sitting alone in the office that soon won't be his anymore - the greys and blacks look forbidding and effective, merciless. Great scene.
The Dawn and Tim Saga continues. Tim sits down next to Dawn in the break room and says, in a tone that sounds miserable but tries to sound cheerful, that he hears she's leaving. She's all, "Blimey... Word gets around fast." I'll say. How long ago did she leave her notice? Half an hour? One hour? I wonder who the big gossips of the office are, since it seems that even Keith knows everything that's going on. "Were you gonna tell me or..?" says Tim. Why should he be the first one to know? Dawn's with Lee, Tim. "God yeah," says Dawn, sounding like she didn't realize it meant so much to Tim. Or was just stalling telling him because she knew how awkward it would be. They try to act cheerful about it, but really Tim acts hurt that he didn't know, and Dawn acts guilty. Surely she'll miss Tim too, but she can't wait around for him forever, and frankly Tim's acting a bit entitled in this scene, like his pining for her gives him the right to know everything first.
Dawn's going to Florida with Lee for six months. Tim is shocked. It's a long time to spend in a foreign country, especially with someone like Lee, and I have to wonder if Dawn is really on board with this whole idea. "Is there a word for this?" asks Tim, trying to hide his sadness. "I don't know, starting again?" says Dawn. Not really, I mean, they're only going away for six months, not moving to the US. And quitting your job for this, when you don't know what you're going to do when you get back home, isn't really starting again, it's... I don't even know. Spending six months without work can be really boring. Maybe the first month or so you'll just be excited that you're in a new country and everything feels special, but after that it starts to wear off.
Lee walks in and Tim seems relieved. Dawn, however, looks like she's been caught in the act. Tim, who seems to feel safer knowing how to talk to Lee - sometimes distance can be easier than too much closeness with someone - and he asks about their plans. Lee seems really excited about the US. As usual, his plans include lots of hard work for Dawn. He thinks they can buy a winebago and drive around the beaches until they run out of money (bwah!). He seems interested in staying there too: "Accommodation is well cheap. If Dawn gets a job at reception, she'll be twice as well off." Yeah, so he gets away from his boring job, and Dawn gets a similar job elsewhere in an equally boring office. Fair! Dawn looks at him like, "Hey, that's not what we agreed on!" but says nothing, as usual. Tim leaves to brood in his angst elsewhere, and Lee sits next to Dawn, asking if she's browsing her magazine for bikinis. I love how Dawn's gained weight, but Lee still acts like she's a knockout. The role of Dawn could be played by a slimmer woman, and that's a great thing. But Lee's still an ass either way.
Dawnterview. There have been way too few in this season, or indeed on the whole show. Dawn's talking about a good relationship, but what she really means is, "I love Lee, I really do, even if we have no chemistry and he treats me like crap, and I don't love Tim, honestly!" She starts by saying that a real relationship "is not like a fairytale." True. However, there should be some chemistry, some magic, for it to really be a happy one. Her justifying is kind of pitiful: "What about reliability, someone paying mortgage or someone's never been out of work? Those are the more important practical... things.. in reality..." But her eyes stray and it really doesn't seem like she believes herself. I love the fact that most of these interviews are just self-justifying little things. It's almost like inner dialogue: "My choice was OK, because..." Also, Lee is not that reliable. He just asked her to quit her job, and he quit his own, to go to Florida to his sister's house for six months and just be lazy and let her work. That's not reliable. That's lazy and entitled. Dawn's a martyr, and many women are. She'd probably make a great mother, which is probably what Lee sees in her. She's obedient, calm and kind, and she lets others walk all over her. And she's miserable, of course. I love how the writers, two men, realize this is not a good way for a woman to live. It says something about their attitude on women. Obviously Gervais and Merchant believe Dawn has a right to be happy and follow her own dreams, not just Lee's.
Ben and a younger guy working. A static on the background, like a low hum, which probably comes from many computers running and many low voices talking. The number bods' table, where Sheila looks at Oliver piningly and then resumes working. It's an interesting little detail. Sheila's somehow similar to Dawn: kind, quiet, martyrish. She lacks Dawn's spunk, but her way of dealing with her crush on Oliver is similar in some way. Oliver is obviously not interested at all, as he refuses to make eye contact and acts like nothing happened.
David is doing something at the computer, hitting the keys pretty hard. He gets up, but a bit too quickly, and rolls the chair over his toes or something. He jumps up and down angrily and then goes back and kicks the chair several times with what seems like real rage. I bet that chair is Neil, Jennifer, Ray and Jude, and all the people who ever belittled him. I really feel sorry for him in this episode. I must admit that I sometimes kick furniture when it hit me, too.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Season 2, Episode 6, Part 3: "Notice"
Boring work at the boring office. Dawn sits at her desk looking around at the employees, as if she's making a decision. Zoom on Tim again. These are short bits, but they seem long because nobody says anything. Dawn runs her hand through her hair, a gesture of insecurity. She looks at Tim longingly.
In David's office, he's still going on about his brilliance. "That's why my professionalism is probably as important as my... um, humanism." He used those two words in the Microsoft clips too. Brilliant. We can see Helena and her notebook, and instead of writing down the words David is saying, she's circling something on the page and blotting over a word. Hee. I wonder what the text says? There's a knock on the door, and Dawn walks in holding an envelope. "Hi," she says shyly, "I was wondering if you'd have time for a little chat?" David, of course, uses this as an opportunity to shine: "I've always got time for my staff, Dawn, you know that. 'He's always got time for staff'," he adds to Helena, and Dawn starts to say something, but David, who always has time for staff, is too busy describing himself to Helena: "Even though... a lot happening... and his mind should be on his staff..." Where was that going? David doesn't know himself, apparently, as he turns to Dawn instead and says, "Shoot." Dawn says, "If you leave, I wanted to hand in my notice." David hears: "Since you're leaving, I can't take it here. This place would be way too empty without you. In fact, they should keep you on or we'll all quit soon." He takes the envelope biting his lip smugly and says, "Ooh no. Thought this would happen. Who else is thinking of leaving here, Dawn?" Dawn, puzzled, says, "I don't think anyone is." David, handing her back the envelope but looking at the camera instead of her, so we know it's just an act: "Don't throw your career away just because I'm leaving, yeah? I know it won't be the same, but you'll probably meet someone else, and..." What? Does he think Dawn is in love with him or something? I wonder how he thinks Dawn sees him. As a mentor? As her idol? I mean, he did basically force her to write him down as a strong influence.
Dawn says she's not leaving because of that. "I'm just reading between the lines," says David. "So..." "Well, you haven't read it," says Dawn and gives the letter back to David. David gives him the envelope back. I love the back-and-forth with the envelope, it's a great example of David not listening to an employee and just assuming things. "Very flattering, but is it just a coincidence that you're handing in your notice when I'm leaving?" he asks. "Yes, it is," says Dawn and gives the letter back to David. "Is it?" says David, obviously only now realizing that she's not leaving as a protest to losing him. Helena, who's actually interested in other people, asks Dawn why she's quitting. "I'm going away with my fiancé," says Dawn. "Where to?" "The States," says Dawn. David now takes the envelope, shoos Dawn away with it, and says to Helena, "What are you writing? Cos I thought we were..." to Dawn: "Cheers, cool..." to Helena, who's gaping with her mouth open again, unused to David's jerkitude: "...go back to..." Heee. He really made a fool of himself there. Don't say those things out loud every time, David. Also, he acted like Dawn leaving is a small detail, as long as it doesn't involve him, and he's ready to go on with this article which doesn't directly have to do with his job. It gives a great picture of him as a boss. Luckily he has a whole article about himself memorized: "Strings to Brent's bow: A. Pihlantrophist..." Yes, and this scene really proved him to be one. Helena rolls her eyes to the camera and continues writing.
Tim is sitting on the sofa with a lime green coffee mug, staring ahead, apparently thinking. He looks like he did on Training Day. The camera zooms on him as he takes a sip of coffee - or tea, since it's the UK - as if he only now remembered he's holding the mug. He rubs his face a bit. Neil walks in and sits next to him. "Hiya," he says. "Have you got a minute?" Tim snaps out of it a bit, always matter-of-fact with the bosses. "Yeah, sure," he says. Neil tells him, in business terms, that they're going to hire someone from the outside to do David's job, and "we wondered if you could do us a favor and be care-taking manager for a while." This is the kind of offer you always say yes to. I know Tim is thinking of leaving some day and whatever, but it's not like he's leaving now. Why doesn't he think about the money he could save for college? Why doesn't he think about getting his own place, maybe taking some time off work to think of his options? In a manager's job, he could actually do that, instead of being stuck on the same old day after day. But he declines. "It's a bit more work for a lot more money," says Neil, who really wants Tim on the job. And how nice of him really, considering he's not asking one of his "own" employees like David surely would have in his shoes. He knows Tim's the man for the job.
Now Tim does something that shows he doesn't truly hate Gareth or wish him anything bad. He tells Neil they should hire Gareth for the job. He knows it's what Gareth wants the very most, and he's willing to let him have it. Granted, he doesn't really want it himself, but he could have suggested someone far more capable, like Oliver, or Jamie, or Ben, or Rachel, or Trudy, or Brenda... well, just about anybody. Neil looks on rather incredulously as Tim lists Gareth's good sides: "He takes things seriously, he's conscientious, he works hard, and he's responsible and knows the place inside out." In the background, we hear Dirty Bertie start up again. Neil looks at Tim like, "You've gotta be kidding me." The scene ends with D.B. going, "Oh, oh, oh, ooh... noo!" There goes Tim's career down the drain, as well. He'll be beating himself up for this later. But hey! He could have rolled a one. Except that he kind of did. Isn't sitting in his old desk for the next five years, with no chance of a promotion, more a one than a three?
Break room. Tim reads from a paper what women look for in a man: "Eyes, smile, flat stomach, good buttocks..." Gareth, who's eating his usual mini-sized bag of cheese noodles - at least you can't say he's compensating - keeps nodding and starts saying, "Yeah..." at the last ones. "You got good buttocks, Gareth?" asks Tim. "Yes," says Gareth, tho he might as well be saying, "Duh." "Can we see them?" asks Tim, seemingly seriously. "No! Gay!" says Gareth. Tim asks Sheila what she wants in a guy. Sheila, who's sitting next to Oliver, is quiet for a while, and Tim looks up. Everyone looks at her, and she finally answers, "I like blacks." Awkward. Oliver looks a bit shocked, and Sheila looks down. Awww, poor Sheila. Is Oliver really that put off by her? She seems like a nice, if mousy woman. I'd be flattered if she found me attractive. Tim asks Trudy what she likes. "I kinda like shy blokes, actually," says Trudy. That would explain why she let Finchy do her from behind. "I can understand that," says Dawn. Tim asks her if that's what she wants too, but she says no. "Rugged good looks," she says. "You always told me it was a sense of humor," says Lee rather tenderly, for a change. "You've got that, you've got a sense of humor," says Dawn. Maybe she changed her answer because of Tim's sense of humor? "Yeah, I know, I know," says Lee. He seems like he might be put off but can't let on with all these people there, or maybe he feels satisfied with that answer, like Dawn was just teasing him. He takes a sip of his coffee (or tea). The camera zooms in on Dawn who looks sad all of a sudden. Wonder why? Tim looks at her with the same look. And in the closeup, you can see he has this horrid growth under his sideburns. It's like Sideburns II: The Son of the Sideburns. Just a little area of hair there, in the middle of his cheek, not a beard but also not a sideburn. It looks scary. The chapter ends rather abruptly.
In David's office, he's still going on about his brilliance. "That's why my professionalism is probably as important as my... um, humanism." He used those two words in the Microsoft clips too. Brilliant. We can see Helena and her notebook, and instead of writing down the words David is saying, she's circling something on the page and blotting over a word. Hee. I wonder what the text says? There's a knock on the door, and Dawn walks in holding an envelope. "Hi," she says shyly, "I was wondering if you'd have time for a little chat?" David, of course, uses this as an opportunity to shine: "I've always got time for my staff, Dawn, you know that. 'He's always got time for staff'," he adds to Helena, and Dawn starts to say something, but David, who always has time for staff, is too busy describing himself to Helena: "Even though... a lot happening... and his mind should be on his staff..." Where was that going? David doesn't know himself, apparently, as he turns to Dawn instead and says, "Shoot." Dawn says, "If you leave, I wanted to hand in my notice." David hears: "Since you're leaving, I can't take it here. This place would be way too empty without you. In fact, they should keep you on or we'll all quit soon." He takes the envelope biting his lip smugly and says, "Ooh no. Thought this would happen. Who else is thinking of leaving here, Dawn?" Dawn, puzzled, says, "I don't think anyone is." David, handing her back the envelope but looking at the camera instead of her, so we know it's just an act: "Don't throw your career away just because I'm leaving, yeah? I know it won't be the same, but you'll probably meet someone else, and..." What? Does he think Dawn is in love with him or something? I wonder how he thinks Dawn sees him. As a mentor? As her idol? I mean, he did basically force her to write him down as a strong influence.
Dawn says she's not leaving because of that. "I'm just reading between the lines," says David. "So..." "Well, you haven't read it," says Dawn and gives the letter back to David. David gives him the envelope back. I love the back-and-forth with the envelope, it's a great example of David not listening to an employee and just assuming things. "Very flattering, but is it just a coincidence that you're handing in your notice when I'm leaving?" he asks. "Yes, it is," says Dawn and gives the letter back to David. "Is it?" says David, obviously only now realizing that she's not leaving as a protest to losing him. Helena, who's actually interested in other people, asks Dawn why she's quitting. "I'm going away with my fiancé," says Dawn. "Where to?" "The States," says Dawn. David now takes the envelope, shoos Dawn away with it, and says to Helena, "What are you writing? Cos I thought we were..." to Dawn: "Cheers, cool..." to Helena, who's gaping with her mouth open again, unused to David's jerkitude: "...go back to..." Heee. He really made a fool of himself there. Don't say those things out loud every time, David. Also, he acted like Dawn leaving is a small detail, as long as it doesn't involve him, and he's ready to go on with this article which doesn't directly have to do with his job. It gives a great picture of him as a boss. Luckily he has a whole article about himself memorized: "Strings to Brent's bow: A. Pihlantrophist..." Yes, and this scene really proved him to be one. Helena rolls her eyes to the camera and continues writing.
Tim is sitting on the sofa with a lime green coffee mug, staring ahead, apparently thinking. He looks like he did on Training Day. The camera zooms on him as he takes a sip of coffee - or tea, since it's the UK - as if he only now remembered he's holding the mug. He rubs his face a bit. Neil walks in and sits next to him. "Hiya," he says. "Have you got a minute?" Tim snaps out of it a bit, always matter-of-fact with the bosses. "Yeah, sure," he says. Neil tells him, in business terms, that they're going to hire someone from the outside to do David's job, and "we wondered if you could do us a favor and be care-taking manager for a while." This is the kind of offer you always say yes to. I know Tim is thinking of leaving some day and whatever, but it's not like he's leaving now. Why doesn't he think about the money he could save for college? Why doesn't he think about getting his own place, maybe taking some time off work to think of his options? In a manager's job, he could actually do that, instead of being stuck on the same old day after day. But he declines. "It's a bit more work for a lot more money," says Neil, who really wants Tim on the job. And how nice of him really, considering he's not asking one of his "own" employees like David surely would have in his shoes. He knows Tim's the man for the job.
Now Tim does something that shows he doesn't truly hate Gareth or wish him anything bad. He tells Neil they should hire Gareth for the job. He knows it's what Gareth wants the very most, and he's willing to let him have it. Granted, he doesn't really want it himself, but he could have suggested someone far more capable, like Oliver, or Jamie, or Ben, or Rachel, or Trudy, or Brenda... well, just about anybody. Neil looks on rather incredulously as Tim lists Gareth's good sides: "He takes things seriously, he's conscientious, he works hard, and he's responsible and knows the place inside out." In the background, we hear Dirty Bertie start up again. Neil looks at Tim like, "You've gotta be kidding me." The scene ends with D.B. going, "Oh, oh, oh, ooh... noo!" There goes Tim's career down the drain, as well. He'll be beating himself up for this later. But hey! He could have rolled a one. Except that he kind of did. Isn't sitting in his old desk for the next five years, with no chance of a promotion, more a one than a three?
Break room. Tim reads from a paper what women look for in a man: "Eyes, smile, flat stomach, good buttocks..." Gareth, who's eating his usual mini-sized bag of cheese noodles - at least you can't say he's compensating - keeps nodding and starts saying, "Yeah..." at the last ones. "You got good buttocks, Gareth?" asks Tim. "Yes," says Gareth, tho he might as well be saying, "Duh." "Can we see them?" asks Tim, seemingly seriously. "No! Gay!" says Gareth. Tim asks Sheila what she wants in a guy. Sheila, who's sitting next to Oliver, is quiet for a while, and Tim looks up. Everyone looks at her, and she finally answers, "I like blacks." Awkward. Oliver looks a bit shocked, and Sheila looks down. Awww, poor Sheila. Is Oliver really that put off by her? She seems like a nice, if mousy woman. I'd be flattered if she found me attractive. Tim asks Trudy what she likes. "I kinda like shy blokes, actually," says Trudy. That would explain why she let Finchy do her from behind. "I can understand that," says Dawn. Tim asks her if that's what she wants too, but she says no. "Rugged good looks," she says. "You always told me it was a sense of humor," says Lee rather tenderly, for a change. "You've got that, you've got a sense of humor," says Dawn. Maybe she changed her answer because of Tim's sense of humor? "Yeah, I know, I know," says Lee. He seems like he might be put off but can't let on with all these people there, or maybe he feels satisfied with that answer, like Dawn was just teasing him. He takes a sip of his coffee (or tea). The camera zooms in on Dawn who looks sad all of a sudden. Wonder why? Tim looks at her with the same look. And in the closeup, you can see he has this horrid growth under his sideburns. It's like Sideburns II: The Son of the Sideburns. Just a little area of hair there, in the middle of his cheek, not a beard but also not a sideburn. It looks scary. The chapter ends rather abruptly.
Season 2, Episode 6, Part 2: "Inside Paper"
Dawn works boredly at his desk as David walks in with a young woman carrying a briefcase. "Here we are," he says. "The madhouse." She chuckles politely. David's "we're MAD" show with every visitor is the equivalent of Gareth's mad mates and their wacky adventures, broadcast to you on speakerphone. David says hi to Dawn, meaning "Look who I've got here, and guess why." The woman gives her a friendly, natural "Hi." Nice contrast. As they walk past Tim's desk, David says, "Alright Tim?" Tim, who's been deep in his thoughts, stirs and says an awkward hi. "Oh her?" says David, even if Tim didn't ask him anything. "She's writing an article on me in Inside Paper." He shows an issue that's peeking out of the suitcase. The woman looks uncomfortable as David calls out to Ben, who's on the other side of the room and not looking at him - that's the name of the anonymous employee? Wow. I had totally forgotten that. Maybe I'll go back and correct his name as Ben in all recaps. Maybe not. Speaking of which, since it's mentioned later on in the episode that the journalist is called Helena, I will refer to her as Helena right away, otherwise it gets awkward. "Well, I'll tell you all," he says quite loud. "If you're wondering who this stranger is" - and he points his finger at the head of an increasingly awkward-looking Helena, saying, "she's writing an article on me in Inside Paper." The older Swinnie employee walks in, and David, says, "Where have you been?" "Where else," mutters the employee without slowing down or looking back. I guess he means in the restroom? Love how he doesn't take David's bullshit. David tells him the same thing he told the others a moment earlier, but as he clearly isn't listening, he stops at "Ins..." "Subject matter," he says instead and points at himself, grinning. I loved that, such a David thing to say. He acts like Helena flew in from Paris just to interview him, and I bet in reality he called Inside Paper and persuaded them to do an article on him as he's leaving Wernham Hogg.
The interview. "Right, what do you wanna know?" says David as they sit down. Reminiscent of what he said in the second episode, showing his room to Donna. "Do you mind if I talk to some of your staff later?" Helena asks him. "Why?" David says suspiciously. Hee! She says that her train won't leave until the afternoon, so she has a little time. "Well, I wanna see what they say... before...," David says. This cracks me up, because he seems to realize it might not all be flattering. "I'm not gonna put anything nasty in it," says Helena. "They won't say anything nasty," David hastens to answer. Right, that's why you look so worried. They start the interview, and the first question is: "Would you like to tell me about your individual outlook on management?" Sounds a lot like business jargon to me. David, leaning back in his chair and lifting his feet on the desk, tells her, "Sure. Put, 'David Brent is refreshingly laid back for a man with such responsibility.'" Hee! He's written the whole article in his head, and she only needs to write it down. Ungratefully, she tells him to answer in his own words so she can work it out later. "Right. 'Brent mused and then replied...'" David starts, but Helena cuts him off again. She's kind all through, but she's no push-over. She promises to "get it down" when he just speaks freely. "Well, are you getting it down?" asks David. "Cos you're not doing shorthand, and I'm going to be pretty..." He shows a "babble" move with his hand and snaps his fingers quickly. Helena stares at him like he's the biggest douche she's ever met. "Just...," she says, unable to finish the sentence. "Well, your question, I suppose, was, 'Is it difficult to remain authoritative and yet so popular'?" "No," says Helena. Hee! "Shall I answer that one first?" asks David. Why should he answer a question she never asked? "Sorry, can we just stick to my questions?" says Helena, her smile faded. "Well, maybe you should be clear what the question is, cos I'm getting a little bit... you know." David says. Duh! "individual outlook on management" totally means "authoritative yet popular". It's, like, synonymous. How could he know what she meant? David is the kind of guy who abuses people's politeness to further his own means. If you're not very persistent and confident in the way you deal him, he will lead the conversation totally astray. Helena, knowing she can't be professional and punch him in the face, just says, "OK," looking down, clearly angry.
Dawn is standing by Tim's desk, laughing out loud at something Tim is saying. "That's what he said!" Tim says, happy that his story is going over so well. "But that's... just... offensive!" laughs Dawn. Are they talking about David? Rachel walks in and says, "What's so funny?" She's smiling, but what she means is, "Get your hands off my man, bitch." She starts to talk about some completely irrelevant issue, pretending not to remember the name of the pub they went to last Friday. Gareth gets a call and it's on speaker phone. And what do you know, it's Anne, who's obviously his girlfriend. Gareth has a girlfriend?! Actually, there were some brilliant deleted scenes about Gareth having two girlfriends at the same time, and I'll be recapping them later. Gareth sounds stilted while talking to her, knowing three people are listening in. He says he's going out with the lads. Anne asks him to come by before that. Gareth says, "Yeah, OK," sounding like he totally doesn't care about her, but of course it's just his embarrassment. Why use speakerphone? It makes no sense unless the person on the phone is talking to everyone in the room. And they rarely are. "Are you going to bring the toys again?" says Anne, and at this point Gareth grabs the phone and stiltedly tells her he'll be there. "Yeah, look forward too," he says. Tim's face looks attentive and pondersome. This is his revenge to Oggy Oggy Oggy, oink oink oink!
As soon as he's off the phone, Tim says, "Toys?" "Shut up," says Gareth tightly and resumes working. "What are the toys? Is it Buckaroo? Not Boggle, is it? If it's KerPlunk, I'm coming too!" Dawn is leaning on the desk, giggling at Tim's jokes. Her position kind of makes her seem like his girlfriend, which is probably what she wants to do with it, at least subconsciously. Tim's quite a good teaser - works for annoying Gareth and wooing the ladies. "That was actually a private phone call," says Gareth. "So don't put it on speakerphone, Gareth," says Tim. Good point. He turns to Rachel to say what the name of the pub was, but then turns back to Gareth: "Is it Hungry Hippos?" Rachel and Dawn are laughing out loud now. And if I knew more about those games, I'd know if there's a sexual reference to the choice of the names. They sound funny though.
Back to the interview with Inside Paper. "Private life, then, just to flesh out David Brent a little," says Helena. David makes an "Ooh noo" face grin. "Is there a better half?" asks Helena. "David quipped, 'Why buy a book when you can join the library?'" says David. Ugh, one of those trademark sexist jokes. As if you buy women when you marry them. Helena smiles, quite graciously considering earlier. "So you play the field?" she says. David adjusts his tie and says, "Well, I'm not like using chicks and shit, but I'm just chilling while I'm young, I suppose. So..." Note the lingo - "chick", "chill", because he's young and hip! Helena asks if he has a chick now. "Ooh, I don't kiss and tell," says David, points at her and winks as if this was very clever. "I'm just trying to find out if you're in a relationship at the moment," says Helena, who's still polite but seems irritated at David's inability to give straight answers. "Brent says no comment," David says with his mouth twisted and in a funny voice. He grins at the camera like he's so funny. "So you don't have a girlfriend?" says Helena. David tries to belittle the term 'girlfriend' by asking what it means. He does quotation marks with his hands when he says "girlfriend". "Someone you'd have sex with," suggests Helena. Um, that's not how I'd define it. I'd say someone you love and feel a connection with. "Oy, don't get coarse in a magazine for the public," David says. I'm not sure if he's really such a prude, or if he just feels embarrassed about how long he's gone without sex. "I don't think you win a Pulitzer with filth." He looks around like he's said something very wise. It's something in his eyebrows that he lifts as if to say "Are you getting this? I'm imparting my wisdom!" The word sex is, of course, filthy, and no civilized person should ever use it. Yet when Finchy talks about gross sexual details, that's OK for him. Helena looks down and writes something as David points at her and looks away from the camera. What an idiot.
The office. People are working, their shoulders hunched in the work - or is it because of the misery of David Brent leaving?! We'll never know. Gareth shows the camera a stupid present he's gotten for Gobbler. It's a "Dirty Bertie" toy - a gross horndog-type man who, when you clap your hands, says, "Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Come on come on baby! Come on come on baby!" "Watch," says Gareth, excited, and the camera zooms on the little man's pants, where a stick comes up and shakes to the sound of a classical tune I can't seem to place, playing in cheap-sounding synth music. Gareth is chuckling at this display of poor taste. "Oh...oh... oh..o-oh No-ooo..." the man shouts, and the "penis" is flattened. May I add that the man speaking the voice sounds like he's about to burst into laughter. Worst. Present. Ever. Gareth now shows it to Tim, as if he didn't hear it before. Tim lets out a longg sigh. Gareth points at the penis again, "Watch!" and Tim lazily turns his eyes to the man's penis. "He comes in his pants," Gareth narrates, in case no one got that. Tim's eyes widen with either disgust or amazement at how stupid Gareth can be. Gareth promptly claps his hands again to see the show one more time, and Tim throws his pencil away so that it flies high, and walks away. That was a very effective scene done mostly with Martin Freeman's facial expressions. Good job, Martin.
Timterview. He says he's not stressing himself, "Thirty is young nowadays. I'm not somebody who'll have specific goals, you know, having done this or that by my age." I don't think that's a helpful way to think anyway. However, I think Tim is just justifying his need to take the safe route instead of risking everything to do something he really likes, and his next comment proves it. "If you look at life like rolling a dice, then my situation is.. may only be a three." He continues that if he rolled the dice, "I could roll a six, no problem, I could easily roll a six. I could also roll a one. So, I think it's best to just leave the dice alone." It really shows how he thinks, the situation many 30-year-olds find themselves in: young enough to change their lives and get it in a new direction...but also scared. Start your own business - what if you go bankrupt? Go back to college - what if you fail and then you have no job to lean on. In Tim's case, however, it seems to have settled in a lot earlier since he's been living at his parents' house for how long now? I think his failure to complete his studies has left him in an apathetic situation where he, worried about future failures, decides to stop trying and just have the best life he can have at Wernham Hogg. Which isn't very good, but it's stable and the same year after year, which he hates, but perhaps also feels a secret satisfaction with. They say most people would take a dull life over an exciting but tragic one.
The interview. "Right, what do you wanna know?" says David as they sit down. Reminiscent of what he said in the second episode, showing his room to Donna. "Do you mind if I talk to some of your staff later?" Helena asks him. "Why?" David says suspiciously. Hee! She says that her train won't leave until the afternoon, so she has a little time. "Well, I wanna see what they say... before...," David says. This cracks me up, because he seems to realize it might not all be flattering. "I'm not gonna put anything nasty in it," says Helena. "They won't say anything nasty," David hastens to answer. Right, that's why you look so worried. They start the interview, and the first question is: "Would you like to tell me about your individual outlook on management?" Sounds a lot like business jargon to me. David, leaning back in his chair and lifting his feet on the desk, tells her, "Sure. Put, 'David Brent is refreshingly laid back for a man with such responsibility.'" Hee! He's written the whole article in his head, and she only needs to write it down. Ungratefully, she tells him to answer in his own words so she can work it out later. "Right. 'Brent mused and then replied...'" David starts, but Helena cuts him off again. She's kind all through, but she's no push-over. She promises to "get it down" when he just speaks freely. "Well, are you getting it down?" asks David. "Cos you're not doing shorthand, and I'm going to be pretty..." He shows a "babble" move with his hand and snaps his fingers quickly. Helena stares at him like he's the biggest douche she's ever met. "Just...," she says, unable to finish the sentence. "Well, your question, I suppose, was, 'Is it difficult to remain authoritative and yet so popular'?" "No," says Helena. Hee! "Shall I answer that one first?" asks David. Why should he answer a question she never asked? "Sorry, can we just stick to my questions?" says Helena, her smile faded. "Well, maybe you should be clear what the question is, cos I'm getting a little bit... you know." David says. Duh! "individual outlook on management" totally means "authoritative yet popular". It's, like, synonymous. How could he know what she meant? David is the kind of guy who abuses people's politeness to further his own means. If you're not very persistent and confident in the way you deal him, he will lead the conversation totally astray. Helena, knowing she can't be professional and punch him in the face, just says, "OK," looking down, clearly angry.
Dawn is standing by Tim's desk, laughing out loud at something Tim is saying. "That's what he said!" Tim says, happy that his story is going over so well. "But that's... just... offensive!" laughs Dawn. Are they talking about David? Rachel walks in and says, "What's so funny?" She's smiling, but what she means is, "Get your hands off my man, bitch." She starts to talk about some completely irrelevant issue, pretending not to remember the name of the pub they went to last Friday. Gareth gets a call and it's on speaker phone. And what do you know, it's Anne, who's obviously his girlfriend. Gareth has a girlfriend?! Actually, there were some brilliant deleted scenes about Gareth having two girlfriends at the same time, and I'll be recapping them later. Gareth sounds stilted while talking to her, knowing three people are listening in. He says he's going out with the lads. Anne asks him to come by before that. Gareth says, "Yeah, OK," sounding like he totally doesn't care about her, but of course it's just his embarrassment. Why use speakerphone? It makes no sense unless the person on the phone is talking to everyone in the room. And they rarely are. "Are you going to bring the toys again?" says Anne, and at this point Gareth grabs the phone and stiltedly tells her he'll be there. "Yeah, look forward too," he says. Tim's face looks attentive and pondersome. This is his revenge to Oggy Oggy Oggy, oink oink oink!
As soon as he's off the phone, Tim says, "Toys?" "Shut up," says Gareth tightly and resumes working. "What are the toys? Is it Buckaroo? Not Boggle, is it? If it's KerPlunk, I'm coming too!" Dawn is leaning on the desk, giggling at Tim's jokes. Her position kind of makes her seem like his girlfriend, which is probably what she wants to do with it, at least subconsciously. Tim's quite a good teaser - works for annoying Gareth and wooing the ladies. "That was actually a private phone call," says Gareth. "So don't put it on speakerphone, Gareth," says Tim. Good point. He turns to Rachel to say what the name of the pub was, but then turns back to Gareth: "Is it Hungry Hippos?" Rachel and Dawn are laughing out loud now. And if I knew more about those games, I'd know if there's a sexual reference to the choice of the names. They sound funny though.
Back to the interview with Inside Paper. "Private life, then, just to flesh out David Brent a little," says Helena. David makes an "Ooh noo" face grin. "Is there a better half?" asks Helena. "David quipped, 'Why buy a book when you can join the library?'" says David. Ugh, one of those trademark sexist jokes. As if you buy women when you marry them. Helena smiles, quite graciously considering earlier. "So you play the field?" she says. David adjusts his tie and says, "Well, I'm not like using chicks and shit, but I'm just chilling while I'm young, I suppose. So..." Note the lingo - "chick", "chill", because he's young and hip! Helena asks if he has a chick now. "Ooh, I don't kiss and tell," says David, points at her and winks as if this was very clever. "I'm just trying to find out if you're in a relationship at the moment," says Helena, who's still polite but seems irritated at David's inability to give straight answers. "Brent says no comment," David says with his mouth twisted and in a funny voice. He grins at the camera like he's so funny. "So you don't have a girlfriend?" says Helena. David tries to belittle the term 'girlfriend' by asking what it means. He does quotation marks with his hands when he says "girlfriend". "Someone you'd have sex with," suggests Helena. Um, that's not how I'd define it. I'd say someone you love and feel a connection with. "Oy, don't get coarse in a magazine for the public," David says. I'm not sure if he's really such a prude, or if he just feels embarrassed about how long he's gone without sex. "I don't think you win a Pulitzer with filth." He looks around like he's said something very wise. It's something in his eyebrows that he lifts as if to say "Are you getting this? I'm imparting my wisdom!" The word sex is, of course, filthy, and no civilized person should ever use it. Yet when Finchy talks about gross sexual details, that's OK for him. Helena looks down and writes something as David points at her and looks away from the camera. What an idiot.
The office. People are working, their shoulders hunched in the work - or is it because of the misery of David Brent leaving?! We'll never know. Gareth shows the camera a stupid present he's gotten for Gobbler. It's a "Dirty Bertie" toy - a gross horndog-type man who, when you clap your hands, says, "Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Come on come on baby! Come on come on baby!" "Watch," says Gareth, excited, and the camera zooms on the little man's pants, where a stick comes up and shakes to the sound of a classical tune I can't seem to place, playing in cheap-sounding synth music. Gareth is chuckling at this display of poor taste. "Oh...oh... oh..o-oh No-ooo..." the man shouts, and the "penis" is flattened. May I add that the man speaking the voice sounds like he's about to burst into laughter. Worst. Present. Ever. Gareth now shows it to Tim, as if he didn't hear it before. Tim lets out a longg sigh. Gareth points at the penis again, "Watch!" and Tim lazily turns his eyes to the man's penis. "He comes in his pants," Gareth narrates, in case no one got that. Tim's eyes widen with either disgust or amazement at how stupid Gareth can be. Gareth promptly claps his hands again to see the show one more time, and Tim throws his pencil away so that it flies high, and walks away. That was a very effective scene done mostly with Martin Freeman's facial expressions. Good job, Martin.
Timterview. He says he's not stressing himself, "Thirty is young nowadays. I'm not somebody who'll have specific goals, you know, having done this or that by my age." I don't think that's a helpful way to think anyway. However, I think Tim is just justifying his need to take the safe route instead of risking everything to do something he really likes, and his next comment proves it. "If you look at life like rolling a dice, then my situation is.. may only be a three." He continues that if he rolled the dice, "I could roll a six, no problem, I could easily roll a six. I could also roll a one. So, I think it's best to just leave the dice alone." It really shows how he thinks, the situation many 30-year-olds find themselves in: young enough to change their lives and get it in a new direction...but also scared. Start your own business - what if you go bankrupt? Go back to college - what if you fail and then you have no job to lean on. In Tim's case, however, it seems to have settled in a lot earlier since he's been living at his parents' house for how long now? I think his failure to complete his studies has left him in an apathetic situation where he, worried about future failures, decides to stop trying and just have the best life he can have at Wernham Hogg. Which isn't very good, but it's stable and the same year after year, which he hates, but perhaps also feels a secret satisfaction with. They say most people would take a dull life over an exciting but tragic one.
Season 2, Episode 6, Part 1: "My Work Here is Done"
This is it. The last episode. I feel sad and nostalgic already. But worry not, I will still recap the specials too. And why not the documentaries, while I'm at it.
We open on another boring, mundane office day. David gives the male Swinnie employee his card, and looks at the camera smiling. Everything's a show with him. The employee, who's on the phone, doesn't really pay a lot of attention to him, and David pats him in the back and leaves. It's kinda sad - I don't think he got a going-away party or a gift or a card or anything, just people ignoring him. He gives cards to everyone, and people look like they couldn't care less. The problem with David is that he believes workplace relationships should last forever, even if you quit the job or are fired; so your employees should still hang out with you even after you leave. which they won't, by any logic, because they don't even like him. David probably thinks he gave his all to this job, though, and that people are just turning their backs on him. When in reality they never liked him in the first place. I feel really sorry for him in this episode.
David interview. With his trademark slow style, he starts :"I ...don't.. .look upon this like it's 'the end'. I look upon this like it's moving on. It's almost like my work here is done, you know. I can't imagine... Jesus" - a little look at the camera guy and interviewer to let the heavy name sink in, because any mention of Jesus is by definition profound - going, "Oh, I've told a few people here in Bethlehem I'm the Son of God, can I just stay in with Mom and Dad now?" No. You gotta move on, you've gotta spread the word, you've gotta go to Nazareth, please. And that's... very much like... me..." Um, how exactly? He twists his mouth while saying that, making it seem like he totally doesn't know what he's saying, and he probably doesn't. And this whole idea of Jesus vs David? Bwah! Especially since Jesus was only born in Bethlehem and grew up in Nazareth, which I think the wirters assume everyone to know. Well, everyone except David Brent. What we learn from this: if you're going to compare yourself to Jesus, at least get the facts of his life right, because you're already making a fool of yourself.
And then comes a brilliant account of all the things he can do: "My world does not end within these four walls." He spreads his arms and shows the distance between his index fingers. "Slough is a big place, and you know, and when I'm finished with Slough, I've got Reading, Aldershot, Bracknell, you know, Didcot, Yately. My... Winnersh, Taplow. You know. Because I am my own boss. I can... Berefield. You know, I can wake up and go, 'Oh, I don't feel like working today, can I just stay in bed? Oh no, better ask your boss. David, can I stay in bed all day?' 'Yes you can, David.' -Both me, that's not me in bed with another bloke called David." That is just priceless, because
1. He doesn't even think that he could go beyond small English towns in the vicinity;
2. He keeps interrupting because he thought of another redundant example, like a child might do;
3. He didn't really have to explain he's both Davids, but if there's any slightest possibility that others might think he's gay, he has to step in and stop them from thinking that;
4. Note that he doesn't say what he's going to do exactly, because he totally doesn't know.
Gotta love David Brent. I'll really miss these interviews.
David now goes to Jamie, who's sitting at his desk. He squats down a bit, coming down to the employee's level. He asks him, talking as if to a child, if it's going to be weird when he's gone. "Different," says Jamie to say something. "Sadder," adds David. I don't think that's what Jamie meant, but it's really easy with David because you don't have to say anything, he'll tell you what you're thinking and meaning. David tells him dumbly that he doesn't have to think, "That's it, there's no point, I'm walking around with my shoulders hunched..." Hee! Like anyone would say something like that. Especially just because David left. The phone rings and Jamie asks to take it. David is left in a squatting position and he makes an awkward face at the camera. We all know the feeling of hanging around when someone else takes a call, and it makes you feel unimportant even if you're not. In this particular case, though, it's kind of true. There's good news on the phone and Jamie says it's a load off his mind. When he gets off the phone, he turns back to David who has trouble getting started again, seeing how litle Jamie really cares. Before he can say much, Jamie calls to Oliver off-camera that "they took the lot, mate". I love how he doesn't have to specify who took the lot exactly, and what the lot means in this case. Then he turns back to David, but can't contain himself and has to call Steve, whom he tells the exact same thing - "They took the lot, mate." David gets the hint, says Jamie is busy, and leaves his card. I thought this scene was a tad obvious as a joke, and I can't put my finger on why. Jamie simply nods as David holds the card up to his face. As David turns to go, his face looks very tired and very old. Awww, poor lonely David.
But he immediately finds another victim. He chuckles at the camera for no reason at all and says, "Oh - here he is! The big man!" Keith is copying or printing something and is standing by the printer. He's a head taller than David. Why does David always have to talk about his size? Does he feel intimidated by Keith's height or does he feel superior that Keith is fatter than him? Keith totally doesn't see David, who's coming from behind, and as David takes his card from his pocket, Keith leans back and bumps him with his butt, or steps on his toe, as David goes, "Ow!" and walks away saying, "Clumsy" with the same voice he said "Big man". Nice going, David. Try talking to him first the next time, to get his attention. Keith's a bit absent-minded. He obviously still can't see David as he attends to the copier or printer, oblivious of the world around him. As he would. David looks at his card like Keith isn't worthy of it. He walks up to someone else to give it.
Boring office working montage. Oliver has his pipes screensaver still on. Does he ever use his computer?
Dawn is leaning on her desk, looking dreadfully bored, but then the camera zooms on Tim and we know she's only pining for him. I'm reminded of the long Dawn/Tim scenes in this episode and the Christmas special. Tim is sitting at his computer pressing his lips together, seeming tense. Rachel walks in. This time her shirt isn't as short as usual, but it still looks a little tight. She sits on Tim's desk - chairs are for sitting on! - and tells him rather insecurely that his parents have this cottage in New Forest and they invited her and Tim to a party there. "I can't," Tim says immediately, making it obvious he doesn't want to. "When is it?" he adds, remembering that that's the polite way of blowing someone off. First ask when, then say you can't that particular day, but oh how you'd like to! Rachel says it's a few weeks ahead, on a weekend, but Tim says, "That's a problem." He comes off really rude, and Rachel is offended. "I kinda told them that we'd.. that we'd go," she says. "You told them? I wish you'd asked me," says Tim and gives a joyless little chuckle that's meant to signal, "I'm not mad," even if he is. They look at each other. Tim lifts his eyebrows. Awkward silence. And - scene. Nice.
Photocopier spewing identical-looking white papers. Tim and Gareth's desk. Gareth picks up his phone and it's "Oooooggy Oggy Oggy!!" Gareth glances at a tired-looking Tim but goes, "Oink oink oink!" like this is the high point of his day. And it probably is. "Alright, Oggy? Keeno here, on speaker phone!" Keeno?! Hee. That's like the lamest nickname ever. Well, ok, Count Fuckula on Extras was worse. At least there's some kind of quiet, well ok, loud dignity to the Oggmonster. Gareth, once again, glances around like he thinks he and his mates are the maddest, funniest guys around, and everyone should laugh just hearing it. It reminds me of this Fry&Laurie skit where a young guy tells the camera, "I have these mad mates... We're just mad! Like last week we went to the movies.. Mad!!" Oggy gets excited that he's on speaker phone, and his mind goes to a very juvenile place (if it ever left it in the first place): "Tits!!" Gareth pretends to be scandalized by this public reveal, but is actually really amused and giggles like a little boy, like he does every time. He calls Oggy a "mentalist" - hee, I love that British word - and asks what he wants. Oggy informs him that "Gobbler" - the same name they used on Extras for the fat guy in the sitcom! - is having a birthday party at Chaser's (where else?) and he asks if Gareth's coming. Gareth acts like he wouldn't miss it for the world. He asks who else is coming - Jimmy the Perv, Fish Fingers? Oggy tells him, "Fish Fingers can't come cause Susan caught him get off with What's-Her-Face..." One of the guys has a girlfriend? A bit surprising, that. Not that he'd cheat on her but that he'd have one. Gareth looks excited that one of his mad mates is proven to be a bad boy, because that makes them MAD! "That's mental," he says, happy that Tim's hearing all this. Oggy says something that sounds like "Donuts!" to me, and I guess he means Donuts, as in, nudge nudge wink wink, get it?! And Gareth laughs and calls him a mentalist, and hangs up. He seems refreshed from the phonecall. Tim looks like it had the opposite effect on him. "Did you hear that?" Gareth asks him. "That was the Oggmonster." Tim wipes his face with his hands, looking really tired. I think having crazy, mental friends calls on speaker phone ranks as one of the top 5 most annoying office behaviours.
We open on another boring, mundane office day. David gives the male Swinnie employee his card, and looks at the camera smiling. Everything's a show with him. The employee, who's on the phone, doesn't really pay a lot of attention to him, and David pats him in the back and leaves. It's kinda sad - I don't think he got a going-away party or a gift or a card or anything, just people ignoring him. He gives cards to everyone, and people look like they couldn't care less. The problem with David is that he believes workplace relationships should last forever, even if you quit the job or are fired; so your employees should still hang out with you even after you leave. which they won't, by any logic, because they don't even like him. David probably thinks he gave his all to this job, though, and that people are just turning their backs on him. When in reality they never liked him in the first place. I feel really sorry for him in this episode.
David interview. With his trademark slow style, he starts :"I ...don't.. .look upon this like it's 'the end'. I look upon this like it's moving on. It's almost like my work here is done, you know. I can't imagine... Jesus" - a little look at the camera guy and interviewer to let the heavy name sink in, because any mention of Jesus is by definition profound - going, "Oh, I've told a few people here in Bethlehem I'm the Son of God, can I just stay in with Mom and Dad now?" No. You gotta move on, you've gotta spread the word, you've gotta go to Nazareth, please. And that's... very much like... me..." Um, how exactly? He twists his mouth while saying that, making it seem like he totally doesn't know what he's saying, and he probably doesn't. And this whole idea of Jesus vs David? Bwah! Especially since Jesus was only born in Bethlehem and grew up in Nazareth, which I think the wirters assume everyone to know. Well, everyone except David Brent. What we learn from this: if you're going to compare yourself to Jesus, at least get the facts of his life right, because you're already making a fool of yourself.
And then comes a brilliant account of all the things he can do: "My world does not end within these four walls." He spreads his arms and shows the distance between his index fingers. "Slough is a big place, and you know, and when I'm finished with Slough, I've got Reading, Aldershot, Bracknell, you know, Didcot, Yately. My... Winnersh, Taplow. You know. Because I am my own boss. I can... Berefield. You know, I can wake up and go, 'Oh, I don't feel like working today, can I just stay in bed? Oh no, better ask your boss. David, can I stay in bed all day?' 'Yes you can, David.' -Both me, that's not me in bed with another bloke called David." That is just priceless, because
1. He doesn't even think that he could go beyond small English towns in the vicinity;
2. He keeps interrupting because he thought of another redundant example, like a child might do;
3. He didn't really have to explain he's both Davids, but if there's any slightest possibility that others might think he's gay, he has to step in and stop them from thinking that;
4. Note that he doesn't say what he's going to do exactly, because he totally doesn't know.
Gotta love David Brent. I'll really miss these interviews.
David now goes to Jamie, who's sitting at his desk. He squats down a bit, coming down to the employee's level. He asks him, talking as if to a child, if it's going to be weird when he's gone. "Different," says Jamie to say something. "Sadder," adds David. I don't think that's what Jamie meant, but it's really easy with David because you don't have to say anything, he'll tell you what you're thinking and meaning. David tells him dumbly that he doesn't have to think, "That's it, there's no point, I'm walking around with my shoulders hunched..." Hee! Like anyone would say something like that. Especially just because David left. The phone rings and Jamie asks to take it. David is left in a squatting position and he makes an awkward face at the camera. We all know the feeling of hanging around when someone else takes a call, and it makes you feel unimportant even if you're not. In this particular case, though, it's kind of true. There's good news on the phone and Jamie says it's a load off his mind. When he gets off the phone, he turns back to David who has trouble getting started again, seeing how litle Jamie really cares. Before he can say much, Jamie calls to Oliver off-camera that "they took the lot, mate". I love how he doesn't have to specify who took the lot exactly, and what the lot means in this case. Then he turns back to David, but can't contain himself and has to call Steve, whom he tells the exact same thing - "They took the lot, mate." David gets the hint, says Jamie is busy, and leaves his card. I thought this scene was a tad obvious as a joke, and I can't put my finger on why. Jamie simply nods as David holds the card up to his face. As David turns to go, his face looks very tired and very old. Awww, poor lonely David.
But he immediately finds another victim. He chuckles at the camera for no reason at all and says, "Oh - here he is! The big man!" Keith is copying or printing something and is standing by the printer. He's a head taller than David. Why does David always have to talk about his size? Does he feel intimidated by Keith's height or does he feel superior that Keith is fatter than him? Keith totally doesn't see David, who's coming from behind, and as David takes his card from his pocket, Keith leans back and bumps him with his butt, or steps on his toe, as David goes, "Ow!" and walks away saying, "Clumsy" with the same voice he said "Big man". Nice going, David. Try talking to him first the next time, to get his attention. Keith's a bit absent-minded. He obviously still can't see David as he attends to the copier or printer, oblivious of the world around him. As he would. David looks at his card like Keith isn't worthy of it. He walks up to someone else to give it.
Boring office working montage. Oliver has his pipes screensaver still on. Does he ever use his computer?
Dawn is leaning on her desk, looking dreadfully bored, but then the camera zooms on Tim and we know she's only pining for him. I'm reminded of the long Dawn/Tim scenes in this episode and the Christmas special. Tim is sitting at his computer pressing his lips together, seeming tense. Rachel walks in. This time her shirt isn't as short as usual, but it still looks a little tight. She sits on Tim's desk - chairs are for sitting on! - and tells him rather insecurely that his parents have this cottage in New Forest and they invited her and Tim to a party there. "I can't," Tim says immediately, making it obvious he doesn't want to. "When is it?" he adds, remembering that that's the polite way of blowing someone off. First ask when, then say you can't that particular day, but oh how you'd like to! Rachel says it's a few weeks ahead, on a weekend, but Tim says, "That's a problem." He comes off really rude, and Rachel is offended. "I kinda told them that we'd.. that we'd go," she says. "You told them? I wish you'd asked me," says Tim and gives a joyless little chuckle that's meant to signal, "I'm not mad," even if he is. They look at each other. Tim lifts his eyebrows. Awkward silence. And - scene. Nice.
Photocopier spewing identical-looking white papers. Tim and Gareth's desk. Gareth picks up his phone and it's "Oooooggy Oggy Oggy!!" Gareth glances at a tired-looking Tim but goes, "Oink oink oink!" like this is the high point of his day. And it probably is. "Alright, Oggy? Keeno here, on speaker phone!" Keeno?! Hee. That's like the lamest nickname ever. Well, ok, Count Fuckula on Extras was worse. At least there's some kind of quiet, well ok, loud dignity to the Oggmonster. Gareth, once again, glances around like he thinks he and his mates are the maddest, funniest guys around, and everyone should laugh just hearing it. It reminds me of this Fry&Laurie skit where a young guy tells the camera, "I have these mad mates... We're just mad! Like last week we went to the movies.. Mad!!" Oggy gets excited that he's on speaker phone, and his mind goes to a very juvenile place (if it ever left it in the first place): "Tits!!" Gareth pretends to be scandalized by this public reveal, but is actually really amused and giggles like a little boy, like he does every time. He calls Oggy a "mentalist" - hee, I love that British word - and asks what he wants. Oggy informs him that "Gobbler" - the same name they used on Extras for the fat guy in the sitcom! - is having a birthday party at Chaser's (where else?) and he asks if Gareth's coming. Gareth acts like he wouldn't miss it for the world. He asks who else is coming - Jimmy the Perv, Fish Fingers? Oggy tells him, "Fish Fingers can't come cause Susan caught him get off with What's-Her-Face..." One of the guys has a girlfriend? A bit surprising, that. Not that he'd cheat on her but that he'd have one. Gareth looks excited that one of his mad mates is proven to be a bad boy, because that makes them MAD! "That's mental," he says, happy that Tim's hearing all this. Oggy says something that sounds like "Donuts!" to me, and I guess he means Donuts, as in, nudge nudge wink wink, get it?! And Gareth laughs and calls him a mentalist, and hangs up. He seems refreshed from the phonecall. Tim looks like it had the opposite effect on him. "Did you hear that?" Gareth asks him. "That was the Oggmonster." Tim wipes his face with his hands, looking really tired. I think having crazy, mental friends calls on speaker phone ranks as one of the top 5 most annoying office behaviours.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Season 2, Episode 5, Part 5: "Generous Package"
Why do some of the chapter titles sound so dirty? This one could be mistaken for something quite different. What it is, of course, is the scene where David gets fired. I feel sorry for him already, alhtough he really deserves it.
We watch Neil and Jennifer walk into David's office. They're talking about something in low voices while walking. Neil knocks on the door, but doesn't wait for a response as they open the door. David sits in his chair and looks peeved when they get in. Neil asks if he has a minute. "Not right now, I'm literally running downstairs this minute," says David. Neil asks why. David says The Gazette will do a photo shoot, "I'm gonna be on the paper... Well, Wernham Hogg are going to be in the paper. Free advertising. That's not why I'm doing it...," he starts babbling to the camera. I love how he has to show Neil and Jennifer that it's all about the firm, and yet show to the camera how it's all about charity, and he gets caught up in the web of his own... well, not lies exactly. I'm not sure what to call them. Justifications? Neil brilliantly just cuts him off with "This shouldn't take long." Because he knows David can go on virtually forever just explaning himself over and over again. I love Neil. I also love how he's the one to deliver the news to David, standing up for what he thinks, even if he knows David will lay the blame on him. Jennifer sits behind him, looking a bit sad, and looking at David with compassion. It looks like she genuinely likes him, but is unable to justify the way he's been behaving. Neil says they were thinking about what David said before - "Give me all three warnings now", even if he doesn't specify it - "and it's certainly something we've been thinking about as well, um... We'd like to offer you a very generous redundancy package." He seems to have some trouble saying that last part. And great office jargon there. Not "We're not happy with your performance" or "I've had it with your disrespect." He puts a positive spin on it like a salesman would.
The camera quickly turns to David, who has a look on his face that says he's so hurt and he just can't understand why this is happening to him. He glances at the camera, but can't change the look on his face; it remains crumpled and miserable. Bravo, Gervais. David soon assumes his usual mocking tone with Neil: "Are you "offering" me, or are you telling me I've got to take it?" He just can't let Neil get away with offering him a very generous package. He has to make it clear that this is something negative Neil is doing against him. "Umm.. we're telling you you've got to take it," admits Neil. Jennifer says they will make it official the following day in "a proper meeting". The camera shows a struck David as he starts a sad little monologue, "It's a good timing.. telling me that... today... the day of laughter." A reaction shot from Neil and Jennifer shows us that Neil isn't without sympathy for him, after all he's said and done. David says his photo shoot is ruined. He gets up and we see what he's wearing - a huge Big Bird type costume with little trousers in the front that make it seem like he's riding Big Bird, while his feet are the bird's feet. He's holding a stick attached to the back of the bird's head; the neck is long and swooping. Jennifer glances at the camera. I'm not really sure what her look shows. Guilt over firing David? Or disbelief that it's the costume that matters to him? Hard to read. Maybe she's wondering if the viewers will see her as the bad guy.
David is very awkwardly picking on the costume. "Got little pockets and everything," he says about the trousers. The bird's face is in a permanent grin that mocks the whole situation. David bitterly tells Neil and Jennifer, "So now I'm gonna have to go down there and be funny. That's gonna be... good, innit. With that... going thru." He points at his head with both hands, but since one hand is holding the head of the bird, the bird's beak taps his forehead. It makes it look less serious. "I knew you were up to something, planning something," he says, as if this is a big conspiracy. Yes, David, if they were constantly telling you to work harder, and you weren't working harder, perhaps it's to be expected? "Jennifer, do you agree with this? Because we can..." She nods sadly. Neil doesn't even look offended that David is going over his head or implying that he's alone in it. He just looks sad for David. It shows that he's a good guy who cares. David says he has "other irons on the fire" - like what? The motivational speeches? The game show ideas? The walks for Mencap? - and "this is the best thing that's ever happened to me, to be honest." Right. His angry tone betrays him though; obviously he's not happy about this or anything. Being the boss at the Slough branch was probably his high point in life, the only achievement he ever had. It seems almost cruel to take that away from him, even if he's a terrible boss and deserves to be fired. David says he'd love to see Neil - pointing at him with the bird head - run the place, because "you will have a mutiny in your hands. They" - pointing with the bird head again, which makes it seem funny - "are going to go berserk." Yes, I'm sure they are. The only time they really went berserk was when he sold them out at the end of season one. And not because he was leaving, though I'm sure he'd tell you otherwise. David tells them to leave, "Go on. I've got stuff to do, I've got laughter... I've got money to raise, mouths to feed." Hee, mouths to feed. He just loves mixing metaphors. "Thanks for your time," says Neil in a deflated voice. He seems relieved to have it overwith. Jennifer walks away with her arms crossed and casts one last sympathetic look at David. David doesn't look at the camera after they leave. Instead, he adjusts his tie - a nervous adjustment - and looks at his watch, muttering under his breath, "I've got to..."
He walks into the office space in his bird costume and says loud, "If you were wondering what that meeting was about in there..." People are only beginning to notice him at this point, and it doesn't seem like they noticed the meeting, or cared. "That's it. I've been made redundant." People stare at him in amazement and no one says a word. "Yeah. After it was me who saved others from redundancy, and then it's back... The good die young!" Yeah, that really works when you're fired based on your lack of efficiency. It's endearing how he wants to hold onto his idea that he's good even if he was just fired because he sucks as a boss. Dawn looks on sympathetically. David tells them he told Neil and Jennifer that the others would "go mental." Well, if by mental, he means staring at him furrowing their brows... "And now I've got to go and give laughter," David continues. Well, I don't know. He's mainly trying to get himself publicity, so he could have cancelled that without harming anyone. He acts like it's his mission in life to make people laugh even when he's really sad inside. The sad clown who cries inside! He awkwardly strokes the feathers of the bird. "But...see ya," he says. At Dawn's desk, he turns around and says, "Huh?" Awww, poor David. Wanting so much for someone to say, "David, wait! We love you! Please don't let them fire you!" It will never happen, because no one likes him that much, and many of them are probably just relieved. Malcolm's brooding face doesn't really go with his backwards shirt. Also, I'm gonna say it - the trousers on David's bird costume have a much smaller waist than he really does. And the red legs with the fluffy yellow feet look ridiculous on him. And not in a good way. As David walks away, he tells Dawn bye, or something. Dawn looks at the camera in shock, like she doesn't know how to react to this. She really seems to care for David. How sweet.
In the parking lot of Wernham Hogg, which looks as sad and grey as the building itself, Dawn and Tim are standing holding a huge cheque. The photographer tells David to make the bird peck, then run around. He does. Everyone looks like it's their mother's funeral. "Smile, it's for Comic Relief," says the photographer. David, acting like this is the biggest inconvenience in his life, asks if he can't just stand there. "Can you make it peck at your mates like Roy Hudd?" asks the photographer. "Rod Hull," corrects David. "Yeah, just do that." David makes the bird peck at Tim, looking grumpy. Tim looks sad. The weather is dark and windy. The cheque says 120 pounds "ONLY", and again, I know it doesn't mean it's only 120 pounds, but it's not all that much, so it seems like an ironic move. The photographer is happy with the pictures, but he says he forgot to bring a flash, "probably won't be able to use these. Don't be disappointed if they're not in." David curtly says he won't be, eager to get rid of the photographer. He's not too good at hiding his feelings. "Well done, David," says Dawn encouragingly. "No, no worries," says David in a sad voice. Gareth hops in just as the photographer drives away. "Did I miss it?" he asks. "Yes," says David. Why didn't he just walk? Hee, poor Gareth, always pedantic in the wrong place.
This was a very sad episode. Even if David is a bad boss, he's not a bad guy. Just a really sad guy. His downward spiral in this season is just heartbreaking. I almost wanted him to get to keep his job. In the last scene, we see Keith answering the phone as Ali Keith. He says without any tone whatsoever, "Booyakasha." Imagine the confusion in the other end. Priceless.
We watch Neil and Jennifer walk into David's office. They're talking about something in low voices while walking. Neil knocks on the door, but doesn't wait for a response as they open the door. David sits in his chair and looks peeved when they get in. Neil asks if he has a minute. "Not right now, I'm literally running downstairs this minute," says David. Neil asks why. David says The Gazette will do a photo shoot, "I'm gonna be on the paper... Well, Wernham Hogg are going to be in the paper. Free advertising. That's not why I'm doing it...," he starts babbling to the camera. I love how he has to show Neil and Jennifer that it's all about the firm, and yet show to the camera how it's all about charity, and he gets caught up in the web of his own... well, not lies exactly. I'm not sure what to call them. Justifications? Neil brilliantly just cuts him off with "This shouldn't take long." Because he knows David can go on virtually forever just explaning himself over and over again. I love Neil. I also love how he's the one to deliver the news to David, standing up for what he thinks, even if he knows David will lay the blame on him. Jennifer sits behind him, looking a bit sad, and looking at David with compassion. It looks like she genuinely likes him, but is unable to justify the way he's been behaving. Neil says they were thinking about what David said before - "Give me all three warnings now", even if he doesn't specify it - "and it's certainly something we've been thinking about as well, um... We'd like to offer you a very generous redundancy package." He seems to have some trouble saying that last part. And great office jargon there. Not "We're not happy with your performance" or "I've had it with your disrespect." He puts a positive spin on it like a salesman would.
The camera quickly turns to David, who has a look on his face that says he's so hurt and he just can't understand why this is happening to him. He glances at the camera, but can't change the look on his face; it remains crumpled and miserable. Bravo, Gervais. David soon assumes his usual mocking tone with Neil: "Are you "offering" me, or are you telling me I've got to take it?" He just can't let Neil get away with offering him a very generous package. He has to make it clear that this is something negative Neil is doing against him. "Umm.. we're telling you you've got to take it," admits Neil. Jennifer says they will make it official the following day in "a proper meeting". The camera shows a struck David as he starts a sad little monologue, "It's a good timing.. telling me that... today... the day of laughter." A reaction shot from Neil and Jennifer shows us that Neil isn't without sympathy for him, after all he's said and done. David says his photo shoot is ruined. He gets up and we see what he's wearing - a huge Big Bird type costume with little trousers in the front that make it seem like he's riding Big Bird, while his feet are the bird's feet. He's holding a stick attached to the back of the bird's head; the neck is long and swooping. Jennifer glances at the camera. I'm not really sure what her look shows. Guilt over firing David? Or disbelief that it's the costume that matters to him? Hard to read. Maybe she's wondering if the viewers will see her as the bad guy.
David is very awkwardly picking on the costume. "Got little pockets and everything," he says about the trousers. The bird's face is in a permanent grin that mocks the whole situation. David bitterly tells Neil and Jennifer, "So now I'm gonna have to go down there and be funny. That's gonna be... good, innit. With that... going thru." He points at his head with both hands, but since one hand is holding the head of the bird, the bird's beak taps his forehead. It makes it look less serious. "I knew you were up to something, planning something," he says, as if this is a big conspiracy. Yes, David, if they were constantly telling you to work harder, and you weren't working harder, perhaps it's to be expected? "Jennifer, do you agree with this? Because we can..." She nods sadly. Neil doesn't even look offended that David is going over his head or implying that he's alone in it. He just looks sad for David. It shows that he's a good guy who cares. David says he has "other irons on the fire" - like what? The motivational speeches? The game show ideas? The walks for Mencap? - and "this is the best thing that's ever happened to me, to be honest." Right. His angry tone betrays him though; obviously he's not happy about this or anything. Being the boss at the Slough branch was probably his high point in life, the only achievement he ever had. It seems almost cruel to take that away from him, even if he's a terrible boss and deserves to be fired. David says he'd love to see Neil - pointing at him with the bird head - run the place, because "you will have a mutiny in your hands. They" - pointing with the bird head again, which makes it seem funny - "are going to go berserk." Yes, I'm sure they are. The only time they really went berserk was when he sold them out at the end of season one. And not because he was leaving, though I'm sure he'd tell you otherwise. David tells them to leave, "Go on. I've got stuff to do, I've got laughter... I've got money to raise, mouths to feed." Hee, mouths to feed. He just loves mixing metaphors. "Thanks for your time," says Neil in a deflated voice. He seems relieved to have it overwith. Jennifer walks away with her arms crossed and casts one last sympathetic look at David. David doesn't look at the camera after they leave. Instead, he adjusts his tie - a nervous adjustment - and looks at his watch, muttering under his breath, "I've got to..."
He walks into the office space in his bird costume and says loud, "If you were wondering what that meeting was about in there..." People are only beginning to notice him at this point, and it doesn't seem like they noticed the meeting, or cared. "That's it. I've been made redundant." People stare at him in amazement and no one says a word. "Yeah. After it was me who saved others from redundancy, and then it's back... The good die young!" Yeah, that really works when you're fired based on your lack of efficiency. It's endearing how he wants to hold onto his idea that he's good even if he was just fired because he sucks as a boss. Dawn looks on sympathetically. David tells them he told Neil and Jennifer that the others would "go mental." Well, if by mental, he means staring at him furrowing their brows... "And now I've got to go and give laughter," David continues. Well, I don't know. He's mainly trying to get himself publicity, so he could have cancelled that without harming anyone. He acts like it's his mission in life to make people laugh even when he's really sad inside. The sad clown who cries inside! He awkwardly strokes the feathers of the bird. "But...see ya," he says. At Dawn's desk, he turns around and says, "Huh?" Awww, poor David. Wanting so much for someone to say, "David, wait! We love you! Please don't let them fire you!" It will never happen, because no one likes him that much, and many of them are probably just relieved. Malcolm's brooding face doesn't really go with his backwards shirt. Also, I'm gonna say it - the trousers on David's bird costume have a much smaller waist than he really does. And the red legs with the fluffy yellow feet look ridiculous on him. And not in a good way. As David walks away, he tells Dawn bye, or something. Dawn looks at the camera in shock, like she doesn't know how to react to this. She really seems to care for David. How sweet.
In the parking lot of Wernham Hogg, which looks as sad and grey as the building itself, Dawn and Tim are standing holding a huge cheque. The photographer tells David to make the bird peck, then run around. He does. Everyone looks like it's their mother's funeral. "Smile, it's for Comic Relief," says the photographer. David, acting like this is the biggest inconvenience in his life, asks if he can't just stand there. "Can you make it peck at your mates like Roy Hudd?" asks the photographer. "Rod Hull," corrects David. "Yeah, just do that." David makes the bird peck at Tim, looking grumpy. Tim looks sad. The weather is dark and windy. The cheque says 120 pounds "ONLY", and again, I know it doesn't mean it's only 120 pounds, but it's not all that much, so it seems like an ironic move. The photographer is happy with the pictures, but he says he forgot to bring a flash, "probably won't be able to use these. Don't be disappointed if they're not in." David curtly says he won't be, eager to get rid of the photographer. He's not too good at hiding his feelings. "Well done, David," says Dawn encouragingly. "No, no worries," says David in a sad voice. Gareth hops in just as the photographer drives away. "Did I miss it?" he asks. "Yes," says David. Why didn't he just walk? Hee, poor Gareth, always pedantic in the wrong place.
This was a very sad episode. Even if David is a bad boss, he's not a bad guy. Just a really sad guy. His downward spiral in this season is just heartbreaking. I almost wanted him to get to keep his job. In the last scene, we see Keith answering the phone as Ali Keith. He says without any tone whatsoever, "Booyakasha." Imagine the confusion in the other end. Priceless.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Season 2, Episode 5, Part 4: "Showdown"
Wow, I didn't realize I took a whole month to write the previous chapter. I'm sorry about all the delays. Maybe it's on purpose so I don't have to stop writing about this show so soon. Only one more episode of the original series to go! I will do the Christmas specials and so forth, but it's not the same anymore. This original The Office series is ending and it makes me a bit sad.
But there's still time to see David make a fool of himself in many ways. This scene is a defining one for both David and Neil. It shows how David lives in his dreams and fails to live the life he has, which makes him ultimately lose it all. It also shows how Neil is a man of actions and not a man of words like David, and how he takes responsibility for his job even when it's difficult.
"They're waiting for me," says David smilingly for the camera as it follows him to his office. Obviously he has no idea that this is about actual work. As he walks into the room, Jennifer and Neil are talking. "Break it up! Put her down!" says David and laughs. These are your bosses, David, a little respect? "No, they wouldn't. She wouldn't. Her husband's loaded, ain't he?" Oh my god. That's the most sexist thing he's said to or about Jennifer yet. She wouldn't cheat on her husband just because he has a lot of money? Ugh. "He does OK," says Jennifer who looks a bit like she doesn't see what that has to do with anything. I wouldn't blame her if she kicked him in the balls or something. David sits down, saying, "Ooohh...dear, oh... What a day!" He laughs and points at Neil's dance costume. The others don't laugh. There's something awkward in the air, which David either isn't picking up, or is picking up and trying to disperse with his silly behaviour.
"OK, David, do you have that report?" asks Neil. The camera pans behind Neil and on David, who has a stupid grin on his face. It seems frozen there as Neil asks about the report which he obviously hasn't made. "Ah... Glad you brought that up," he says, because he isn't glad, at all. "That's why I'm here," says Neil in a voice that seems to be restraining something, perhaps frustration because he can hear in David's tone that the report is not done. "Yes, um... Formulating a lot of good ideas," says David and looks at Jennifer, even if Neil was the one asking about the report. Neil, sounding very tired, says, "No, David, I don't want to talk about a report, or the report we're going to do soon. I'm talking about the report we talked about four days ago that was definitely going to be done today." I love him. He just cut right through David's excuses, and it seems like it's not the first time either. David just sits quietly, looking busted. Neil continues that the report matters to him, and "I come in and I discover that this is the fruit of your labors." He gives David a sheet of paper. David starts flubbering about how Neil shouldn't come in and look through his things while he's out, and I'm not sure who's side I'm on in this. I mean, yes, I do think he has a right to privacy, but on the other hand, if there's a paper on his desk and he was going to turn in a report today, Neil might have a right to assume that's the one. "Please read the first sentence for Jennifer," says Neil in his best steady boss voice.
David looks at the camera, knowing he's going to be humiliated for this, then makes a face like he doesn't care and the paper is nothing, then looks at the camera again. Love Gervais' body language throughout this scene. Neil sighs and looks away from David, tired of seeing him stall and make faces at the camera. "Imagine a cross between Telly Addicts and Noel's House Party. You've just imagined Upstairs Downstairs, a new quiz show devised and hosted by David Brent." Hee! First of all, if the only way you can describe your show is by comparing it to other formulaic shows, maybe you're not being very original. Secondly, even if he pitches the idea, I'd think the network decides who hosts the show. I love how deluded he is. Neil says he doesn't understand. "The contestants run upstairs and they get a clue..." starts David. Hee! Neil cuts him off and says he doesn't understand "your constant negligence and failure to do what is asked of you." Yeah, that's a good point. David starts talking, and as usual, sounds like he hasn't really planned in beforehand what he's going to say: "Because you're... viewing my methods.. like there's something missing, like you're looking at it as the jigsaw that it is, but you're viewing it through a keyhole when really you should be..." He makes a keyhole gesture and then expands his hands, biting his upper lip. And that analogy was perhaps the worst ever from David. Viewing a jigsaw through a keyhole? Would it even be possible to see it? It doesn't make any sense. And, of course, it means nothing in this context. It's the worst strategy David could take. He should say, "I'm very sorry boss, this won't happen again, from now on I will change my ways." But since he's an idiot and thinks he's doing everything just right, he won't say it, and he causes himself more damage this way than with any other negligence.
David keeps stretching his arms wider, which is hilarious, like he's trying to buy some time. "David, some words would be useful here," says a tired Neil. "Oh, I think actions speak louder than words," David says, adjusts his tie and winks and smirks at Jennifer as if she's automatically on his side. Yeah, I'm sure she really appreciates how terribly you treat Neil. He really thinks he can beat Neil just by using more impressive words, even if he just said actions speak louder than words. It's not a rap battle, David. It's a work situation, you need to shape up. And I really think it's that smirk, that triumphant look on his face, that makes Neil take action. Even after all the stupid things David has said and done, he is still smirking and thinking he's better than Neil. He just doesn't have any respect. "You're on a warning," Neil says sternly. "That's the action I'm going to take. It's a verbal warning, obviously three strikes and you're out, and things have got to change." David's smirk fades.
There's an awkward silence and David just stares at Neil angrily for a moment. "Fine," he then says in a voice that suggests this is all very trivial and he couldn't care less. "Give me all three now then," he adds rebelliously, "because oooh, I'd love to see you run this place without... You'd have a mutiny on your hands for a start, cos they would... But if that's what you want, come on, let's bring it on!" It's a warning from your boss, not a challenge to a duel, David! He points at Neil, and then at his door, when he says "they would..." The reason he doesn't continue is, of course, that they wouldn't do anything out of the ordinary and he probably knows that. He just has to act like this doesn't shake him because the company needs him and they would die without him. "No, David, that's not what I want," says Neil tiredly. "I want to see this place run with you doing your job." David makes faces like "Who knows what his next whim will be?" He's making the faces at Jennifer, which is incredibly rude and unprofessional, but then I'd expect no less from our dear old David. Why do I like him so much? Sometimes he just acts like an ass. Neil asks him to take the verbal warning, and he says something back but alas, without subtitles I can't tell what it is; Neil repeats, "Take the verbal warning and let's move on." David looks sheepish again, like he's just now realizing that Neil really gave him a warning.
But in a David interview, we learn that he has learned nothing. "Neil makes me laugh" is the first thing he says. "It's his timing! Going on about, he wants some report today... It's Red Nose Day!" He's like me in seventh grade, when the biology teacher informed us that she wants us to take notes when we watch a video, because she will be asking questions, and there might be a pop quiz. Everyone groaned, because video = fun, not learning. It seems like David makes the same assumption, which isn't professional at all for a guy his age. Neil had fun on red nose day, but he also works, and this is something David obviously hasn't learned to combine. "What's more important? You, Neil, with your 'report'" - he makes quotation marks with his fingers, which reminds me of when he said sarcastically "Listen, 'Tim'..." - "or some starving children? Ooh, I don't know..." He rubs his chin with his finger, like he always does when fake-thinking. Neil's report probably doesn't benefit Comic Relief, but it's not like David works for Comic Relief. He works for Wernham Hogg, and if WH needs that report, then it's his job to provide it, regardless what its significance is on a global scale, or compared to global issues like starvation. Or, say, entertainment and game shows. Those save the world!
"What would Lenny Henry say? I think we know. Imagine him going out the door on Comic Relief day, and Dawn French is going, 'Where you going? You haven't done the washing up! You haven't put the rubbish out!'" He gives the camera the finger, apparently as Lenny Henry, and seems like he's really angry and about to lose control. He's even shaking. "Do it yourself, I've gotta save some Africans!" Then he calms down a bit, obviously remembering where he is and what he's doing. I can't really comment on his choice of people for the example, because I'm not British and I'm too lazy to do research right now; suffice to say that they are married British comedians, so I guess he's just assuming Dawn French nags at Lenny Henry about trivialities, which... yeah, kinda sexist. Also, stupid stupid David for giving this interview. It's not like Neil didn't notice his anger before, but it's just plain dumb to give an interview to a camera crew probably willing to use any negativity they can to spice up a boring documentary. I'd say the rule of thumb is that if you're really mad, don't say anything to the camera crew that will ultimately show it to the whole world long after you calmed down. Of course, David feels like he has to defend himself and trivialize Neil's warning, but even if he was going to do that, he should have done that later when he was calmer. He just doesn't get it. He needs to suck it up and take the humiliation, because it's already happened, and learn from it so there will be no further humiliations for him. Kicking and screaming won't do.
Dawn is reading a travel brochure in the break room. Behind him, Ali Keith is staring blankly ahead as usual. He's sitting in a position where he can look at her the whole time, which would bother me, and also seems to bother Dawn as she doesn't really look at him once. I think I'll transcribe a part of their brilliant little dialogue.
Keith: What are you reading?
Dawn: (sighing deep, as if she was hoping he wouldn't ask) Holiday brochures.
Keith: Why's that then? Going on holiday?
Dawn: Possibly, yeah...
Keith: (interrupting her) Where to?
Dawn: The States.
Keith: (muses with a sideways smile and his eyes closed, then asks:) United States?
Dawn: Uh, yeah. (Lifts her head from the brochure in surprise, tho not facing Keith)
Then Keith mentions the Annoying Love Triangle that I'm getting tired of even mentioning in the recaps. He treats it with Keith-like anvilism, of course: "I don't know if you've heard the gossip, but Tim's going out with Rachel... Cos he used to fancy you, didn't he? Oh yeah, yeah, he did and ... now he's found someone better." Ewan McIntosh's delivery is just gold. It's always the same monotonous tone, and I don't understand how someone can be that monotonous that long. However, I did edit out the Dawn responses, because she's just trying to act like she doesn't care, and it annoys me that that's practically all she gets to do throughout season 2, apart from her scenes with David. It's a waste of a great actress. However, props to the writers for making all the idiots - Lee and Keith - around Dawn act like Rachel is so much better than her because she's better-looking, in the conventional sense. Of course we're not meant to side with Keith.
Tim's desk. Gareth hops in. It looks kind of labored. He sits down and reaches for his phone while Tim sighs deep, I guess because of the hopping. But there is no phone to reach for! He turns to Tim: "Seen my phone?" "Huh?" says Tim a little too quickly. "Where's my phone?" "Mm," says Tim as if he's not surprised at all. "Have you got it?" he says, but Tim interrupts him again with "Uh?" Gareth asks where he put it, while Tim makes eye movements that imply surprise and idnignation that he's being blamed for this. Gareth hops around trying to find his phone, but doesn't find it. "It's for charity," Tim says. "What else did you take? -Where's my tiny tanks?" Tim laughs out loud gleefully like a schoolboy. Hee, tiny tanks. Maybe they and his tiny ego have been stashed in somewhere. "How am I supposed to work?" Gareth says angrily. "You'll just have to hop to it," says Tim.
Keith and Dawn continue their "conversation". The way it's intersected with the Tim and Gareth scene, seems a bit like there's been a long pause - too long for a polite, normal conversation. But can you have one with Keith anyway? Keith just lacks all social skills. Sadly, his conversational skills are not that far exaggerated from some types you meet at offices, who always want to talk to you but can't think of anything to say.
Keith: Lot of crime in America.
Dawn: Right, well, I'll be careful.
Keith (solemnly): Word of advice. Keep your traveller's checks in a bombag.
Dawn: T-thanks, I'll buy one.
Keith: What, when you get there?
Dawn: Yeah.
Keith: (sighs, closes eyes and shakes head) Word of warning then. Out there htey call them fanny packss. Cos fanny means your arse over there. (nods solemnly) Nott. Your minge. (bites Scotch egg).
Dawn (lifts her eyes from the brochure in disbelief, but still doesn't look at Keith.)
This was just brilliant. Keith with his duh knowledge, talking about minges to a woman he barely knows. Dawn never once looking at him. Keith's closed eyes and head-shaking. Brilliant.
Tim is very focused on his work as Gareth hops back. "Where is.. God, you're so immature!" he exclaims. The camera zooms out to show an empty desk with nothing but a mouse on it. "Right, I demand that everything..." Yeah, because he's team leader, so Tim had better do as he says! "Gareth stopped hopping, everyone!" Tim shouts, and Gareth starts hopping again just for that. Hee! Tim really knows what strings to pull. It's not like Gareth has to prove that he will hop forever if that's what it takes. "How am I supposed to do any work?" asks Gareth. "I've told you, it's for charity," says Tim pretending to be meek and gentle. "It's not for charity, is it? It's for you winding me up," says Gareth. Wow, even he knows what it's about. "Gareth stopped hopping again," Tim says. Gareth gets annoyed and starts with a low voice, but then continues to everyone: "I don't have to hop all day! It's just when I'm moving." "Where does it say that in the rule book?" says Tim. I love how Gareth always acts like he has to defend himself with these mundane little things. He finds something that's his, but the camera moves to Dawn who's really amused at what's going on, of course. She's shyly giggling to herself, which is cute. "Gareth, stop hopping around. Have a seat, you've been on your foot all day," says Tim. Hee, foot. Also - yeah, he's winding him up, of course. Sure enough, we soon hear Gareth shout: "How do you hide a chair?!" I must say Tim is very skilful at this. Maybe this should be his day job, he would feel much more accomplished in his life.
Even if Sheila walks by the working men in a Superwoman costume, it's still as dull a workday as any. Red nose or not, the work at Wernham Hogg goes on in the usual monotonous way.
Dawn is at her desk, looking bored, as Tim comes in and says, "Dawnie..." It's still awkward between them, and as Tim gives her a letter to deliver and asks if she's alright, she just smiles and says, "Yeah, are you?" It sounds friendly, but distant, like there's a barrier between them. Lee comes in. He brings Dawn her sandwich - "prawn and avocado", he reads from the label. It's one of those sandwiches you can buy readily packaged. They don't taste like anything, but it's a typical working lunch. Dawn wants Lee to stay for some reason, maybe to show Tim she has a happy relationship just like him, but Lee has to get back. She stops him halfway to say she's made 19 pounds, and Lee stops to look at the coin jar. "Any of it going to English kids, or is it all going abroad I suppose?" asks Lee selfishly. It's the kind of attitude David was talking about earlier when he assured the viewers that British people are also getting some of it. Tim doesn't seem to like his attitude either. "Well, will you please.. stop moaning and give her a quid for a kiss," he says. "I'm not paying for it, mate," says Lee, making Dawn sound kind of not worthy again, even if he doesn't mean it. I think. "Them's the rules," says Tim half-jokingly. Lee obliges. He puts a bill in and says, "What do I get for that?" Then he draws Dawn close to him over the counter and kisses her in the neck.It's a kind of tenderly aggressive gesture, if you can say that. Dawn seems like she doesn't really like it - she tries to pull herself away - but pretends to smile afterwards. Tim looks awkward at this display of "affection". I think Lee's just marking his territory there, as usual. Lee's the only one who laughs.
Tim puts in a pound and says, "My contribution." "Where do you want your kiss?" asks Dawn, but Tim tries to get out of it - out of respect for her, no doubt, even if it seems more like he's rejecting her. She says it's the rules, then pulls him closer and kisses him passionately. And he returns the kiss. And then they both disengage, looking frightened at what just happened. Tim walks away after an awkward moment, while Dawn is left to look after him longingly. And yeah, it's a nice naturalistic moment where two people kind of let their guard down. If you want to write fanfic about what happened at that one office party where they both had too much to drink and Lee couldn't come, go ahead. Also, it seems like Dawn is the dominant one in their relationship - also later on when she leaves Lee and finally takes action. Tim never plays the neanderthal. He doesn't try to beat Lee up or fight for Dawn; he doesn't try to impress her with childish bragging. He simply lets her make her decisions. There's a lot of respect there.
Tim is spinning a pen in his hands, staring at it intently, and trying to pretend he's working. Gareth is setting up his old-fashioned monitor. I shouldn't say anything because I still use a similar monitor, but it's huge and the wires look so dated. Computers age faster than anything else. Rachel walks in wearing a tight blue shirt. And yeah, it looks good on her, but I'm also a little tired of seeing her in tiny shirts. She sits on Tim's desk and closes his calendar and some other book he has open, saying, "I'm very, very, very bored." Tim acts like he doesn't really want to see her. And I think I'd find it rude of a girlfriend to just put away my work like that. There are better ways of engaging my attention. Rachel's being kind of dominating in this scene - she just sits on his desk like that, decides that they're going to talk now instead of working. Gareth says, "Excuse me! Desk procedures, chairs are for sitting on." Rachel jokes to Tim that Gareth's jealous of the view Tim's getting. It's kinda rude of her to ignore a polite, if condescending, request to sit down on a chair. I guess I can't blame her for wanting to piss Gareth off, but as much as I despise Gareth (or at least his behaviour), I must say I'd feel disturbed too if a lovey-dovey couple were sitting that close to me at work. Couples who have just fallen in love are annoying, even if I fell in love myself not long ago. I don't coo in front of strangers, because it's just rude.
"Wrong," says Gareth in his usual blunt way. "I've got the arse this side, so... I'd only want to sit where he's sitting if you was wearing a skirt and I could be looking up there... at itt." Eww! Not much of a tit man, I guess. It's hard to hate him because he's so sad, but I wouldn't take comments like that if I were Rachel. Tim laughs a bit, a laughter of disgust and disbelief, and Rachel jokes, "Aren't you going to defend my honour?" Tim acts shy and Rachel teases, "He's getting a bit embarrassed by his new girlfriend!" Tim just weakly says, "No I'm not." He's smiling, so it's not totally rejecting, but he does seem absent-minded and somehow not with it. Rachel picks up on that. "Are you OK?" she asks softly. Tim says he is. She kisses him on the cheeks and gets up from the desk. Tim smiles awkwardly. "We cool?" Rachel checks again. Tim just puts his thumb up. Ouch. He really doesn't feel it anymore, because he's in love with Dawn and can't just turn it off. He picks up some kind of brochure or magazine and starts browsing thru it, but you can tell he's distracted and embarrassed by the presence of the camera.
But there's still time to see David make a fool of himself in many ways. This scene is a defining one for both David and Neil. It shows how David lives in his dreams and fails to live the life he has, which makes him ultimately lose it all. It also shows how Neil is a man of actions and not a man of words like David, and how he takes responsibility for his job even when it's difficult.
"They're waiting for me," says David smilingly for the camera as it follows him to his office. Obviously he has no idea that this is about actual work. As he walks into the room, Jennifer and Neil are talking. "Break it up! Put her down!" says David and laughs. These are your bosses, David, a little respect? "No, they wouldn't. She wouldn't. Her husband's loaded, ain't he?" Oh my god. That's the most sexist thing he's said to or about Jennifer yet. She wouldn't cheat on her husband just because he has a lot of money? Ugh. "He does OK," says Jennifer who looks a bit like she doesn't see what that has to do with anything. I wouldn't blame her if she kicked him in the balls or something. David sits down, saying, "Ooohh...dear, oh... What a day!" He laughs and points at Neil's dance costume. The others don't laugh. There's something awkward in the air, which David either isn't picking up, or is picking up and trying to disperse with his silly behaviour.
"OK, David, do you have that report?" asks Neil. The camera pans behind Neil and on David, who has a stupid grin on his face. It seems frozen there as Neil asks about the report which he obviously hasn't made. "Ah... Glad you brought that up," he says, because he isn't glad, at all. "That's why I'm here," says Neil in a voice that seems to be restraining something, perhaps frustration because he can hear in David's tone that the report is not done. "Yes, um... Formulating a lot of good ideas," says David and looks at Jennifer, even if Neil was the one asking about the report. Neil, sounding very tired, says, "No, David, I don't want to talk about a report, or the report we're going to do soon. I'm talking about the report we talked about four days ago that was definitely going to be done today." I love him. He just cut right through David's excuses, and it seems like it's not the first time either. David just sits quietly, looking busted. Neil continues that the report matters to him, and "I come in and I discover that this is the fruit of your labors." He gives David a sheet of paper. David starts flubbering about how Neil shouldn't come in and look through his things while he's out, and I'm not sure who's side I'm on in this. I mean, yes, I do think he has a right to privacy, but on the other hand, if there's a paper on his desk and he was going to turn in a report today, Neil might have a right to assume that's the one. "Please read the first sentence for Jennifer," says Neil in his best steady boss voice.
David looks at the camera, knowing he's going to be humiliated for this, then makes a face like he doesn't care and the paper is nothing, then looks at the camera again. Love Gervais' body language throughout this scene. Neil sighs and looks away from David, tired of seeing him stall and make faces at the camera. "Imagine a cross between Telly Addicts and Noel's House Party. You've just imagined Upstairs Downstairs, a new quiz show devised and hosted by David Brent." Hee! First of all, if the only way you can describe your show is by comparing it to other formulaic shows, maybe you're not being very original. Secondly, even if he pitches the idea, I'd think the network decides who hosts the show. I love how deluded he is. Neil says he doesn't understand. "The contestants run upstairs and they get a clue..." starts David. Hee! Neil cuts him off and says he doesn't understand "your constant negligence and failure to do what is asked of you." Yeah, that's a good point. David starts talking, and as usual, sounds like he hasn't really planned in beforehand what he's going to say: "Because you're... viewing my methods.. like there's something missing, like you're looking at it as the jigsaw that it is, but you're viewing it through a keyhole when really you should be..." He makes a keyhole gesture and then expands his hands, biting his upper lip. And that analogy was perhaps the worst ever from David. Viewing a jigsaw through a keyhole? Would it even be possible to see it? It doesn't make any sense. And, of course, it means nothing in this context. It's the worst strategy David could take. He should say, "I'm very sorry boss, this won't happen again, from now on I will change my ways." But since he's an idiot and thinks he's doing everything just right, he won't say it, and he causes himself more damage this way than with any other negligence.
David keeps stretching his arms wider, which is hilarious, like he's trying to buy some time. "David, some words would be useful here," says a tired Neil. "Oh, I think actions speak louder than words," David says, adjusts his tie and winks and smirks at Jennifer as if she's automatically on his side. Yeah, I'm sure she really appreciates how terribly you treat Neil. He really thinks he can beat Neil just by using more impressive words, even if he just said actions speak louder than words. It's not a rap battle, David. It's a work situation, you need to shape up. And I really think it's that smirk, that triumphant look on his face, that makes Neil take action. Even after all the stupid things David has said and done, he is still smirking and thinking he's better than Neil. He just doesn't have any respect. "You're on a warning," Neil says sternly. "That's the action I'm going to take. It's a verbal warning, obviously three strikes and you're out, and things have got to change." David's smirk fades.
There's an awkward silence and David just stares at Neil angrily for a moment. "Fine," he then says in a voice that suggests this is all very trivial and he couldn't care less. "Give me all three now then," he adds rebelliously, "because oooh, I'd love to see you run this place without... You'd have a mutiny on your hands for a start, cos they would... But if that's what you want, come on, let's bring it on!" It's a warning from your boss, not a challenge to a duel, David! He points at Neil, and then at his door, when he says "they would..." The reason he doesn't continue is, of course, that they wouldn't do anything out of the ordinary and he probably knows that. He just has to act like this doesn't shake him because the company needs him and they would die without him. "No, David, that's not what I want," says Neil tiredly. "I want to see this place run with you doing your job." David makes faces like "Who knows what his next whim will be?" He's making the faces at Jennifer, which is incredibly rude and unprofessional, but then I'd expect no less from our dear old David. Why do I like him so much? Sometimes he just acts like an ass. Neil asks him to take the verbal warning, and he says something back but alas, without subtitles I can't tell what it is; Neil repeats, "Take the verbal warning and let's move on." David looks sheepish again, like he's just now realizing that Neil really gave him a warning.
But in a David interview, we learn that he has learned nothing. "Neil makes me laugh" is the first thing he says. "It's his timing! Going on about, he wants some report today... It's Red Nose Day!" He's like me in seventh grade, when the biology teacher informed us that she wants us to take notes when we watch a video, because she will be asking questions, and there might be a pop quiz. Everyone groaned, because video = fun, not learning. It seems like David makes the same assumption, which isn't professional at all for a guy his age. Neil had fun on red nose day, but he also works, and this is something David obviously hasn't learned to combine. "What's more important? You, Neil, with your 'report'" - he makes quotation marks with his fingers, which reminds me of when he said sarcastically "Listen, 'Tim'..." - "or some starving children? Ooh, I don't know..." He rubs his chin with his finger, like he always does when fake-thinking. Neil's report probably doesn't benefit Comic Relief, but it's not like David works for Comic Relief. He works for Wernham Hogg, and if WH needs that report, then it's his job to provide it, regardless what its significance is on a global scale, or compared to global issues like starvation. Or, say, entertainment and game shows. Those save the world!
"What would Lenny Henry say? I think we know. Imagine him going out the door on Comic Relief day, and Dawn French is going, 'Where you going? You haven't done the washing up! You haven't put the rubbish out!'" He gives the camera the finger, apparently as Lenny Henry, and seems like he's really angry and about to lose control. He's even shaking. "Do it yourself, I've gotta save some Africans!" Then he calms down a bit, obviously remembering where he is and what he's doing. I can't really comment on his choice of people for the example, because I'm not British and I'm too lazy to do research right now; suffice to say that they are married British comedians, so I guess he's just assuming Dawn French nags at Lenny Henry about trivialities, which... yeah, kinda sexist. Also, stupid stupid David for giving this interview. It's not like Neil didn't notice his anger before, but it's just plain dumb to give an interview to a camera crew probably willing to use any negativity they can to spice up a boring documentary. I'd say the rule of thumb is that if you're really mad, don't say anything to the camera crew that will ultimately show it to the whole world long after you calmed down. Of course, David feels like he has to defend himself and trivialize Neil's warning, but even if he was going to do that, he should have done that later when he was calmer. He just doesn't get it. He needs to suck it up and take the humiliation, because it's already happened, and learn from it so there will be no further humiliations for him. Kicking and screaming won't do.
Dawn is reading a travel brochure in the break room. Behind him, Ali Keith is staring blankly ahead as usual. He's sitting in a position where he can look at her the whole time, which would bother me, and also seems to bother Dawn as she doesn't really look at him once. I think I'll transcribe a part of their brilliant little dialogue.
Keith: What are you reading?
Dawn: (sighing deep, as if she was hoping he wouldn't ask) Holiday brochures.
Keith: Why's that then? Going on holiday?
Dawn: Possibly, yeah...
Keith: (interrupting her) Where to?
Dawn: The States.
Keith: (muses with a sideways smile and his eyes closed, then asks:) United States?
Dawn: Uh, yeah. (Lifts her head from the brochure in surprise, tho not facing Keith)
Then Keith mentions the Annoying Love Triangle that I'm getting tired of even mentioning in the recaps. He treats it with Keith-like anvilism, of course: "I don't know if you've heard the gossip, but Tim's going out with Rachel... Cos he used to fancy you, didn't he? Oh yeah, yeah, he did and ... now he's found someone better." Ewan McIntosh's delivery is just gold. It's always the same monotonous tone, and I don't understand how someone can be that monotonous that long. However, I did edit out the Dawn responses, because she's just trying to act like she doesn't care, and it annoys me that that's practically all she gets to do throughout season 2, apart from her scenes with David. It's a waste of a great actress. However, props to the writers for making all the idiots - Lee and Keith - around Dawn act like Rachel is so much better than her because she's better-looking, in the conventional sense. Of course we're not meant to side with Keith.
Tim's desk. Gareth hops in. It looks kind of labored. He sits down and reaches for his phone while Tim sighs deep, I guess because of the hopping. But there is no phone to reach for! He turns to Tim: "Seen my phone?" "Huh?" says Tim a little too quickly. "Where's my phone?" "Mm," says Tim as if he's not surprised at all. "Have you got it?" he says, but Tim interrupts him again with "Uh?" Gareth asks where he put it, while Tim makes eye movements that imply surprise and idnignation that he's being blamed for this. Gareth hops around trying to find his phone, but doesn't find it. "It's for charity," Tim says. "What else did you take? -Where's my tiny tanks?" Tim laughs out loud gleefully like a schoolboy. Hee, tiny tanks. Maybe they and his tiny ego have been stashed in somewhere. "How am I supposed to work?" Gareth says angrily. "You'll just have to hop to it," says Tim.
Keith and Dawn continue their "conversation". The way it's intersected with the Tim and Gareth scene, seems a bit like there's been a long pause - too long for a polite, normal conversation. But can you have one with Keith anyway? Keith just lacks all social skills. Sadly, his conversational skills are not that far exaggerated from some types you meet at offices, who always want to talk to you but can't think of anything to say.
Keith: Lot of crime in America.
Dawn: Right, well, I'll be careful.
Keith (solemnly): Word of advice. Keep your traveller's checks in a bombag.
Dawn: T-thanks, I'll buy one.
Keith: What, when you get there?
Dawn: Yeah.
Keith: (sighs, closes eyes and shakes head) Word of warning then. Out there htey call them fanny packss. Cos fanny means your arse over there. (nods solemnly) Nott. Your minge. (bites Scotch egg).
Dawn (lifts her eyes from the brochure in disbelief, but still doesn't look at Keith.)
This was just brilliant. Keith with his duh knowledge, talking about minges to a woman he barely knows. Dawn never once looking at him. Keith's closed eyes and head-shaking. Brilliant.
Tim is very focused on his work as Gareth hops back. "Where is.. God, you're so immature!" he exclaims. The camera zooms out to show an empty desk with nothing but a mouse on it. "Right, I demand that everything..." Yeah, because he's team leader, so Tim had better do as he says! "Gareth stopped hopping, everyone!" Tim shouts, and Gareth starts hopping again just for that. Hee! Tim really knows what strings to pull. It's not like Gareth has to prove that he will hop forever if that's what it takes. "How am I supposed to do any work?" asks Gareth. "I've told you, it's for charity," says Tim pretending to be meek and gentle. "It's not for charity, is it? It's for you winding me up," says Gareth. Wow, even he knows what it's about. "Gareth stopped hopping again," Tim says. Gareth gets annoyed and starts with a low voice, but then continues to everyone: "I don't have to hop all day! It's just when I'm moving." "Where does it say that in the rule book?" says Tim. I love how Gareth always acts like he has to defend himself with these mundane little things. He finds something that's his, but the camera moves to Dawn who's really amused at what's going on, of course. She's shyly giggling to herself, which is cute. "Gareth, stop hopping around. Have a seat, you've been on your foot all day," says Tim. Hee, foot. Also - yeah, he's winding him up, of course. Sure enough, we soon hear Gareth shout: "How do you hide a chair?!" I must say Tim is very skilful at this. Maybe this should be his day job, he would feel much more accomplished in his life.
Even if Sheila walks by the working men in a Superwoman costume, it's still as dull a workday as any. Red nose or not, the work at Wernham Hogg goes on in the usual monotonous way.
Dawn is at her desk, looking bored, as Tim comes in and says, "Dawnie..." It's still awkward between them, and as Tim gives her a letter to deliver and asks if she's alright, she just smiles and says, "Yeah, are you?" It sounds friendly, but distant, like there's a barrier between them. Lee comes in. He brings Dawn her sandwich - "prawn and avocado", he reads from the label. It's one of those sandwiches you can buy readily packaged. They don't taste like anything, but it's a typical working lunch. Dawn wants Lee to stay for some reason, maybe to show Tim she has a happy relationship just like him, but Lee has to get back. She stops him halfway to say she's made 19 pounds, and Lee stops to look at the coin jar. "Any of it going to English kids, or is it all going abroad I suppose?" asks Lee selfishly. It's the kind of attitude David was talking about earlier when he assured the viewers that British people are also getting some of it. Tim doesn't seem to like his attitude either. "Well, will you please.. stop moaning and give her a quid for a kiss," he says. "I'm not paying for it, mate," says Lee, making Dawn sound kind of not worthy again, even if he doesn't mean it. I think. "Them's the rules," says Tim half-jokingly. Lee obliges. He puts a bill in and says, "What do I get for that?" Then he draws Dawn close to him over the counter and kisses her in the neck.It's a kind of tenderly aggressive gesture, if you can say that. Dawn seems like she doesn't really like it - she tries to pull herself away - but pretends to smile afterwards. Tim looks awkward at this display of "affection". I think Lee's just marking his territory there, as usual. Lee's the only one who laughs.
Tim puts in a pound and says, "My contribution." "Where do you want your kiss?" asks Dawn, but Tim tries to get out of it - out of respect for her, no doubt, even if it seems more like he's rejecting her. She says it's the rules, then pulls him closer and kisses him passionately. And he returns the kiss. And then they both disengage, looking frightened at what just happened. Tim walks away after an awkward moment, while Dawn is left to look after him longingly. And yeah, it's a nice naturalistic moment where two people kind of let their guard down. If you want to write fanfic about what happened at that one office party where they both had too much to drink and Lee couldn't come, go ahead. Also, it seems like Dawn is the dominant one in their relationship - also later on when she leaves Lee and finally takes action. Tim never plays the neanderthal. He doesn't try to beat Lee up or fight for Dawn; he doesn't try to impress her with childish bragging. He simply lets her make her decisions. There's a lot of respect there.
Tim is spinning a pen in his hands, staring at it intently, and trying to pretend he's working. Gareth is setting up his old-fashioned monitor. I shouldn't say anything because I still use a similar monitor, but it's huge and the wires look so dated. Computers age faster than anything else. Rachel walks in wearing a tight blue shirt. And yeah, it looks good on her, but I'm also a little tired of seeing her in tiny shirts. She sits on Tim's desk and closes his calendar and some other book he has open, saying, "I'm very, very, very bored." Tim acts like he doesn't really want to see her. And I think I'd find it rude of a girlfriend to just put away my work like that. There are better ways of engaging my attention. Rachel's being kind of dominating in this scene - she just sits on his desk like that, decides that they're going to talk now instead of working. Gareth says, "Excuse me! Desk procedures, chairs are for sitting on." Rachel jokes to Tim that Gareth's jealous of the view Tim's getting. It's kinda rude of her to ignore a polite, if condescending, request to sit down on a chair. I guess I can't blame her for wanting to piss Gareth off, but as much as I despise Gareth (or at least his behaviour), I must say I'd feel disturbed too if a lovey-dovey couple were sitting that close to me at work. Couples who have just fallen in love are annoying, even if I fell in love myself not long ago. I don't coo in front of strangers, because it's just rude.
"Wrong," says Gareth in his usual blunt way. "I've got the arse this side, so... I'd only want to sit where he's sitting if you was wearing a skirt and I could be looking up there... at itt." Eww! Not much of a tit man, I guess. It's hard to hate him because he's so sad, but I wouldn't take comments like that if I were Rachel. Tim laughs a bit, a laughter of disgust and disbelief, and Rachel jokes, "Aren't you going to defend my honour?" Tim acts shy and Rachel teases, "He's getting a bit embarrassed by his new girlfriend!" Tim just weakly says, "No I'm not." He's smiling, so it's not totally rejecting, but he does seem absent-minded and somehow not with it. Rachel picks up on that. "Are you OK?" she asks softly. Tim says he is. She kisses him on the cheeks and gets up from the desk. Tim smiles awkwardly. "We cool?" Rachel checks again. Tim just puts his thumb up. Ouch. He really doesn't feel it anymore, because he's in love with Dawn and can't just turn it off. He picks up some kind of brochure or magazine and starts browsing thru it, but you can tell he's distracted and embarrassed by the presence of the camera.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Season 2, Episode 5, Part 3: "Dance Fusion"
And here it is, David's dance. Now, I realize this is one of the best-known clips of the whole show, and I'm not sure what to think about it. In one way, it's really funny. In another way, if someone only knows this clip and nothing else about the show, that's not necessarily a good thing, and I know Gervais/Merchant feel that way too. The real joke isn't that he looks funny dancing like that, but that he embarrasses himself because of his own stupid pride and hunger for attention. If you see the clip without the context, it becomes a simple physical joke of the kind this show doesn't usually do, and I don't like to think that some people get that idea. He does look funny dancing though, I can't deny that.
Neil and even Gareth look a bit embarrassed at David's bragging, but Rachel decides to put him to the test: "Alright then mate, let's... you know, show us your moves." Is she only trying to humiliate him? It's possible. After all, Rachel is one of Neil's employees, and after Bluto/Mr Toad and other events, she can't have a very high opinion of him. And now he's acting like Rachel and Neil's dance was basically nothing. Maybe he deserves to be tested then. "Nah, there's no beat, is there," says David, playing awkwardly with his tie. He didn't think he'd actually have to dance after saying he's so good at it. "Come on," says Neil who surely wants to see him humiliate himself. "You had music and everything," David protests to an ever louder sea of "Come on!" Jamie and Emma start clapping their hands and others soon join in. "Alright, just for charity," agrees David finally. He starts humming a song to the beat and others join in, and he starts with basic "swaying to the music" moves. What follows is a sad sign that he was lying. I feel inadequate to describe it because I know absolutely nothing about dancing, and it's hard to write about something that looks funny, but here goes.
He suddenly jumps into a near-squatting position and starts moving his arms like, um... a windmill? A robot? It's kind of a mix between the two. It's very dorky, but kinda impressive of Gervais. Funnily enough, it looks both badly improvised by David and well rehearsed by Gervais - he's touching one arm with the other, which seems to start a rotating movement from the elbow down. But that only lasts for a moment. He won't stay in one place for an instant, he's desperate to think of something new. He keeps jumping back and forth, and now he's shaking his chest while holding out his arms in a kind of limbo movement. Trudy, Neil and Jennifer start looking more and more incredulous as they clap, and the same is true of Tim (gaping with his mouth open) and Jamie (furrowing his brows). The humming starts to die down and David's own loud and desperate hoarse humming comes out louder. He's throwing his legs in the air like a cancan dancer, then he goes in the near-squatting position again, pointing at each employee at a time. Reaction shot from Oliver and Older Male Employee, who were so impressed with Rachel and Neil earlier. They now look embarrassed and incredulous. David does some spins near the ground - he really seems to think you have to get as near as possible to the ground while dancing, as if it makes it a cool and daring move if you're squatting. He does the robot/windmill thing with his arms again. My favorite is when he goes lower and lower as his shoulders go right and left as his arms under the elbows wave in the air... It's impossible to describe just how dorky that looks. He's biting his lip in desperation. Reaction shot from Jamie as he looks like "wtf?" David spins around once again and then points at the camera as he stops humming.
A very vague round of applause. "Great, Dave," says Tim, using a nickname apparently to seem more genuine. Sheila looks like she feels really sorry for David. Keith looks sad in his own expressionless way. Brenda actually seems to be smiling to herself a little. Is she happy that this annoying wheelchair-phobe humiliates himself? Everyone looks like they don't know how to react politely to the dance. "Give me a warning next time," says David, looking embarrassed. He's flushed and is grinning widely. So at least this time he knows he made a fool of himself. Gareth says, "We don't have to give a donation for that, do we?" While he's usually more brown-nosing than that, Gareth lacks the subtlety and tact of the others, so it's just typical Gareth, voicing what everyone was thinking. David, flustered, says, "Don't say it like that! All the money collected is for both dances!" Right, because it was collected before people even knew David was gonna dance. "Both were excellent dances," he says. "You know, if there is a difference, mine was impromptu. So..." So it was better than Neil's dance, even if it was pretty terrible, because you didn't have time to rehearse? You know, if anything, that makes it seem worse; if you say you dance "big time" and describe your dancing skills as David did earlier, you should be able to come up with something on the spot. "But I don't think you should get extra points for that, necessarily. Make your own minds up! Leave me out of it. I'm collecting for charity! Right? So..." He shakes the money bucket a bit and walks away with it. Everyone looks uncomfortable. Poor David, and yet.. heee. I love how he acts like he is so modest and doesn't care which dance they preferred, and it's all for charity. That dance was all for vanity.
David interview. "You've seen me entertain and raise money. But maybe I'd like to do that in the future for a living. You know, use my humor and my profile to both help and amuse people. You know, and if it's ideas for TV shows, game shows or whatever you want, I'm your man." I love that last sentence, because it kind of comes out nowhere - how do game show ideas save lives? I thought he was going to help people, not offer his game show ideas to big network execs who may or may not be watching the documentary. I think the game show ideas comment shows his true intentions - he's not genuinely interested in helping people, he just wants publicity, and game shows are an easy way of being pretty uncreative whilst getting lots of viewers and entertaining people.
"I'm already exploring the entertainment avenue with my management training, but I'd like to do that on a global scale." Maybe he should start with management training podcasts - it would surely amuse people around the world. "And that's not going, 'Oh look at me today! I'm entertaining whilst saving lives, aren't I brilliant!' It's going, 'If you think I'm brilliant, then give generously and help... save these guys who are starving... who are also brilliant.'" Right, so in the end, he is brilliant, but it's not about that, it's about helping others..and their brilliance. It's a bit like the time he said being a boss isn't about people thanking him, it's about them thinking they must remember to thank him - same difference, and equally lacking in depth, tho it might sound deep at first glance (at least to someone, um, brilliant like David).
As usual, he digresses even further into a thought process that isn't particularly helpful for his point: "Not as entertainers, you know... A lot of them can't even speak English, don't give them their own game show. But, um, save them from dying at least, and then maybe they could do something in their own country, on television, whatever, or whatever they have, the wireless, or something. Give them a job on the World Service or something." Hee! The only way of being brilliant and helping your country is, of course, performing on some kind of national TV or radio show and entertaining people. So the objective of saving people from starving is that they can also be entertainers. What a glorious prospect for those people! I'm sure there are lots of stand up comedians and talk show hosts in Africa just going totally to waste because they can't speak English, and they're also starving to death. What a tragedy! I don't think he meant to go in this direction; I think he just got caught up in the idea of how his brilliance will help and inspire others. It's kind of pathetic how he thinks brilliance equals publicity - just because you're a game show host, you're by definition brilliant. And that whole "don't give them their own game show" kind of sounded like he fears competition from brilliant starving people after their starving is stopped - they should at least stay in their own country and not take the jobs of brilliant Europeans. So he manages to show his xenophobia here as well. Brilliant, David. The red nose day really seems to resurface some of his entertaining dreams and hopes, which seems almost cruel especially thinking of the firing scene coming up. He's in for a rude awakening.
But first, Gareth's mates appear at Dawn's desk. They make "funny" faces at the camera and seem kind of hyper. They're wearing white doctor suits and stetoscopes around their necks, and they have a bloody-looking bucket in their hands. And one of them - Stephen Merchant. I love him. I'm glad he got more of a role in Extras, because he's a great comedic actor. We've heard him once before as the voice of the Oggmonster, and now we get to see him. He looks a lot younger as Oggy than he does in the Extras role, and I'm not really sure why that is. Jimmy the Perv - hee - rings the bell on Dawn's desk and says, "We're from the local mental hospital. Is Gareth Keenan here? Cos he's escaped!" "Cos he is mental," explains Oggy excitedly. Yeah, we get it. Jimmy makes weird hyper hand movements. They both act like they either had a few drinks or ate a huge bag of candy before coming in, so they're totally hyper. Gareth jumps up to them looking excited. "It's my crew," he tells Tim who's furrowing his brows. Gareth has a crew? It sounds like such a cute word choice. Gareth assumes the same "laughing just because I'm so excited" pose as the other guys and slaps hands with them a bit. Jimmy wants to buy a kiss for a quid, and he takes coins from his bucket o'blood. Dawn obliges and leans to him, but as he thrusts out his tongue kind of aggressively, she just gives him a quick kiss on the cheek and quickly turns away. However, Jimmy puts in another coin. The camera zooms in on Gareth who says, "My mad mates," looking around him to see if everyone is appreciating the brilliance and fun of his crew. Seriously. They are lame, all of them. I'm sure everyone else in the office can see through their "little boys" act. Dawn says, "Oh..." off camera, and we just know Jimmy's trying something again. Ewww. She laughs awkwardly. You know, the kisses for a quid idea is just an invitation for horndogs like Jimmy and Finchy to take advantage of her. Gross. We see Tim looking at the crew tiredly. A raspberry is blown off camera and the guys laugh. Seriously. What lame-asses.
"Sorry about this, this is my mad mates," Gareth tells Dawn. He's not sorry, at all; he thinks it's great and they're the funnest thing that ever happened in the office. Jimmy has more coins handy, and I have to wonder if Gareth didn't tell them about kisses for a quid and how they can kiss a pretty girl all they want as long as they bring the money. Jimmy leans toward Dawn with his tongue half out, and Dawn looks like she's had enough of this. "Snog him," says Oggy excitedly, and it's even more hilarious if you know it's Stephen fucking Merchant, who is very intelligent and mature and would never act like this out of character. Love it. David walks in to have his share of the fun. "They've finally come to take you away then?" he says and giggles at his own joke. "Are you MAD as well?" Jimmy the Perv asks him. "Guilty," says David and laughs toward the camera: see how cool and fun and hip he is? "He's the boss," says Gareth. "Oh, give us a job!" begs Jimmy jokingly. "I've already got one [wrecked?] mate, thanks very much," says David who, so far, has been able to joke on the same level, but is about to blow it. Gareth introduces them: Jimmy the Perv and Oggmonster, the names I've already been using because it's easier recapping wise. David shakes hands with both of them. "Bloody hell," he says when he sees Oggmonster. "What's the weather like up there?" Merchant really is freakishly tall. He's more than a head taller than Gervais, so they look funny together.
Oggy seems to take this in stride, but as David takes it a bit further and jokes that his parents went: "Let's grow ourselves a lanky goggle-eyed freak!", he takes offense. And really, who wouldn't? It's an awful thing to say, even jokingly. I know guys like rough humor at each other's expense, but come on. Thisa is one reason why I don't think David would be a success as an entertainer. He always takes it too far, and even if he can't take a joke on himself, he will always make fun of others. Oggy points out that he didn't call David fatty, which is a bit uncalled for, but understandable in this situation. "I was just joining in the..." David tries to explain himself. Well, no one else was giving personal insults for looks, so is that joining in or is that starting a whole new line of mean jokes? "And don't have a go at the eyes, because that is astigmatism that I've had since the age of five, so that's what makes them a bit bulbous." Aww. Still, hee at bulbous, it's a funny word. I can't take this seriously knowing it's Merchant. His eyes don't look the same way on Extras, so I think they were using some kind of contact lense here.
"I didn't call you like the Whale Man, or the Blubber Man..." Hey, he's not that big. David says, "I don't go around calling myself the Mongboy." "I don't either, I call myself the Oggmonster." Interesting that David can't remember the nickname he was told just a moment ago. "I'm not gonna call you the Oggmonster," says David, as if not using his self-chosen nickname proves that he's OK to David. "Well, that's my name, so..." says the Oggmonster. "No it's not. What's your real name?" says David. "Nathan." "It's a good name," says David and looks at the camera. "Is it?" says Oggy almost in tears. "I'll call you Nathan," says David in a soft voice. "I didn't call you fatty, so..." says Oggy/Nathan, bursts into tears and walks away quickly. "What's the matter with him?!" says David indignantly, as if he was being wronged here. Yeah, you can really take a joke, Bluto. Dawn, Gareth and even Jimmy the Perv look awkward. Jimmy's fingering his stetoscope like David often touches his tie (he's not doing it now though). Tim stares with his mouth open, then looks at the camera. Ahh, the awkwardness. I'm loving it.
Life goes on as usual, even if it is red nose day, and everyone looks pretty bored. After the few seconds of work, we see Tim walking around with a sponsorship form. He says he's decided "to enter into the spirit a bit more" - by "hiding Gareth's belongings", as he explains to a laughing Oliver. Anonymous Swinnie Male offers him "two quid for the lot". I haven't noticed this before, but now I wonder if he isn't getting back at Gareth for letting his mates humiliate Dawn like that. If so, this is a very nice way of making Gareth pay. And scene. We'll see more of that later.
Neil and even Gareth look a bit embarrassed at David's bragging, but Rachel decides to put him to the test: "Alright then mate, let's... you know, show us your moves." Is she only trying to humiliate him? It's possible. After all, Rachel is one of Neil's employees, and after Bluto/Mr Toad and other events, she can't have a very high opinion of him. And now he's acting like Rachel and Neil's dance was basically nothing. Maybe he deserves to be tested then. "Nah, there's no beat, is there," says David, playing awkwardly with his tie. He didn't think he'd actually have to dance after saying he's so good at it. "Come on," says Neil who surely wants to see him humiliate himself. "You had music and everything," David protests to an ever louder sea of "Come on!" Jamie and Emma start clapping their hands and others soon join in. "Alright, just for charity," agrees David finally. He starts humming a song to the beat and others join in, and he starts with basic "swaying to the music" moves. What follows is a sad sign that he was lying. I feel inadequate to describe it because I know absolutely nothing about dancing, and it's hard to write about something that looks funny, but here goes.
He suddenly jumps into a near-squatting position and starts moving his arms like, um... a windmill? A robot? It's kind of a mix between the two. It's very dorky, but kinda impressive of Gervais. Funnily enough, it looks both badly improvised by David and well rehearsed by Gervais - he's touching one arm with the other, which seems to start a rotating movement from the elbow down. But that only lasts for a moment. He won't stay in one place for an instant, he's desperate to think of something new. He keeps jumping back and forth, and now he's shaking his chest while holding out his arms in a kind of limbo movement. Trudy, Neil and Jennifer start looking more and more incredulous as they clap, and the same is true of Tim (gaping with his mouth open) and Jamie (furrowing his brows). The humming starts to die down and David's own loud and desperate hoarse humming comes out louder. He's throwing his legs in the air like a cancan dancer, then he goes in the near-squatting position again, pointing at each employee at a time. Reaction shot from Oliver and Older Male Employee, who were so impressed with Rachel and Neil earlier. They now look embarrassed and incredulous. David does some spins near the ground - he really seems to think you have to get as near as possible to the ground while dancing, as if it makes it a cool and daring move if you're squatting. He does the robot/windmill thing with his arms again. My favorite is when he goes lower and lower as his shoulders go right and left as his arms under the elbows wave in the air... It's impossible to describe just how dorky that looks. He's biting his lip in desperation. Reaction shot from Jamie as he looks like "wtf?" David spins around once again and then points at the camera as he stops humming.
A very vague round of applause. "Great, Dave," says Tim, using a nickname apparently to seem more genuine. Sheila looks like she feels really sorry for David. Keith looks sad in his own expressionless way. Brenda actually seems to be smiling to herself a little. Is she happy that this annoying wheelchair-phobe humiliates himself? Everyone looks like they don't know how to react politely to the dance. "Give me a warning next time," says David, looking embarrassed. He's flushed and is grinning widely. So at least this time he knows he made a fool of himself. Gareth says, "We don't have to give a donation for that, do we?" While he's usually more brown-nosing than that, Gareth lacks the subtlety and tact of the others, so it's just typical Gareth, voicing what everyone was thinking. David, flustered, says, "Don't say it like that! All the money collected is for both dances!" Right, because it was collected before people even knew David was gonna dance. "Both were excellent dances," he says. "You know, if there is a difference, mine was impromptu. So..." So it was better than Neil's dance, even if it was pretty terrible, because you didn't have time to rehearse? You know, if anything, that makes it seem worse; if you say you dance "big time" and describe your dancing skills as David did earlier, you should be able to come up with something on the spot. "But I don't think you should get extra points for that, necessarily. Make your own minds up! Leave me out of it. I'm collecting for charity! Right? So..." He shakes the money bucket a bit and walks away with it. Everyone looks uncomfortable. Poor David, and yet.. heee. I love how he acts like he is so modest and doesn't care which dance they preferred, and it's all for charity. That dance was all for vanity.
David interview. "You've seen me entertain and raise money. But maybe I'd like to do that in the future for a living. You know, use my humor and my profile to both help and amuse people. You know, and if it's ideas for TV shows, game shows or whatever you want, I'm your man." I love that last sentence, because it kind of comes out nowhere - how do game show ideas save lives? I thought he was going to help people, not offer his game show ideas to big network execs who may or may not be watching the documentary. I think the game show ideas comment shows his true intentions - he's not genuinely interested in helping people, he just wants publicity, and game shows are an easy way of being pretty uncreative whilst getting lots of viewers and entertaining people.
"I'm already exploring the entertainment avenue with my management training, but I'd like to do that on a global scale." Maybe he should start with management training podcasts - it would surely amuse people around the world. "And that's not going, 'Oh look at me today! I'm entertaining whilst saving lives, aren't I brilliant!' It's going, 'If you think I'm brilliant, then give generously and help... save these guys who are starving... who are also brilliant.'" Right, so in the end, he is brilliant, but it's not about that, it's about helping others..and their brilliance. It's a bit like the time he said being a boss isn't about people thanking him, it's about them thinking they must remember to thank him - same difference, and equally lacking in depth, tho it might sound deep at first glance (at least to someone, um, brilliant like David).
As usual, he digresses even further into a thought process that isn't particularly helpful for his point: "Not as entertainers, you know... A lot of them can't even speak English, don't give them their own game show. But, um, save them from dying at least, and then maybe they could do something in their own country, on television, whatever, or whatever they have, the wireless, or something. Give them a job on the World Service or something." Hee! The only way of being brilliant and helping your country is, of course, performing on some kind of national TV or radio show and entertaining people. So the objective of saving people from starving is that they can also be entertainers. What a glorious prospect for those people! I'm sure there are lots of stand up comedians and talk show hosts in Africa just going totally to waste because they can't speak English, and they're also starving to death. What a tragedy! I don't think he meant to go in this direction; I think he just got caught up in the idea of how his brilliance will help and inspire others. It's kind of pathetic how he thinks brilliance equals publicity - just because you're a game show host, you're by definition brilliant. And that whole "don't give them their own game show" kind of sounded like he fears competition from brilliant starving people after their starving is stopped - they should at least stay in their own country and not take the jobs of brilliant Europeans. So he manages to show his xenophobia here as well. Brilliant, David. The red nose day really seems to resurface some of his entertaining dreams and hopes, which seems almost cruel especially thinking of the firing scene coming up. He's in for a rude awakening.
But first, Gareth's mates appear at Dawn's desk. They make "funny" faces at the camera and seem kind of hyper. They're wearing white doctor suits and stetoscopes around their necks, and they have a bloody-looking bucket in their hands. And one of them - Stephen Merchant. I love him. I'm glad he got more of a role in Extras, because he's a great comedic actor. We've heard him once before as the voice of the Oggmonster, and now we get to see him. He looks a lot younger as Oggy than he does in the Extras role, and I'm not really sure why that is. Jimmy the Perv - hee - rings the bell on Dawn's desk and says, "We're from the local mental hospital. Is Gareth Keenan here? Cos he's escaped!" "Cos he is mental," explains Oggy excitedly. Yeah, we get it. Jimmy makes weird hyper hand movements. They both act like they either had a few drinks or ate a huge bag of candy before coming in, so they're totally hyper. Gareth jumps up to them looking excited. "It's my crew," he tells Tim who's furrowing his brows. Gareth has a crew? It sounds like such a cute word choice. Gareth assumes the same "laughing just because I'm so excited" pose as the other guys and slaps hands with them a bit. Jimmy wants to buy a kiss for a quid, and he takes coins from his bucket o'blood. Dawn obliges and leans to him, but as he thrusts out his tongue kind of aggressively, she just gives him a quick kiss on the cheek and quickly turns away. However, Jimmy puts in another coin. The camera zooms in on Gareth who says, "My mad mates," looking around him to see if everyone is appreciating the brilliance and fun of his crew. Seriously. They are lame, all of them. I'm sure everyone else in the office can see through their "little boys" act. Dawn says, "Oh..." off camera, and we just know Jimmy's trying something again. Ewww. She laughs awkwardly. You know, the kisses for a quid idea is just an invitation for horndogs like Jimmy and Finchy to take advantage of her. Gross. We see Tim looking at the crew tiredly. A raspberry is blown off camera and the guys laugh. Seriously. What lame-asses.
"Sorry about this, this is my mad mates," Gareth tells Dawn. He's not sorry, at all; he thinks it's great and they're the funnest thing that ever happened in the office. Jimmy has more coins handy, and I have to wonder if Gareth didn't tell them about kisses for a quid and how they can kiss a pretty girl all they want as long as they bring the money. Jimmy leans toward Dawn with his tongue half out, and Dawn looks like she's had enough of this. "Snog him," says Oggy excitedly, and it's even more hilarious if you know it's Stephen fucking Merchant, who is very intelligent and mature and would never act like this out of character. Love it. David walks in to have his share of the fun. "They've finally come to take you away then?" he says and giggles at his own joke. "Are you MAD as well?" Jimmy the Perv asks him. "Guilty," says David and laughs toward the camera: see how cool and fun and hip he is? "He's the boss," says Gareth. "Oh, give us a job!" begs Jimmy jokingly. "I've already got one [wrecked?] mate, thanks very much," says David who, so far, has been able to joke on the same level, but is about to blow it. Gareth introduces them: Jimmy the Perv and Oggmonster, the names I've already been using because it's easier recapping wise. David shakes hands with both of them. "Bloody hell," he says when he sees Oggmonster. "What's the weather like up there?" Merchant really is freakishly tall. He's more than a head taller than Gervais, so they look funny together.
Oggy seems to take this in stride, but as David takes it a bit further and jokes that his parents went: "Let's grow ourselves a lanky goggle-eyed freak!", he takes offense. And really, who wouldn't? It's an awful thing to say, even jokingly. I know guys like rough humor at each other's expense, but come on. Thisa is one reason why I don't think David would be a success as an entertainer. He always takes it too far, and even if he can't take a joke on himself, he will always make fun of others. Oggy points out that he didn't call David fatty, which is a bit uncalled for, but understandable in this situation. "I was just joining in the..." David tries to explain himself. Well, no one else was giving personal insults for looks, so is that joining in or is that starting a whole new line of mean jokes? "And don't have a go at the eyes, because that is astigmatism that I've had since the age of five, so that's what makes them a bit bulbous." Aww. Still, hee at bulbous, it's a funny word. I can't take this seriously knowing it's Merchant. His eyes don't look the same way on Extras, so I think they were using some kind of contact lense here.
"I didn't call you like the Whale Man, or the Blubber Man..." Hey, he's not that big. David says, "I don't go around calling myself the Mongboy." "I don't either, I call myself the Oggmonster." Interesting that David can't remember the nickname he was told just a moment ago. "I'm not gonna call you the Oggmonster," says David, as if not using his self-chosen nickname proves that he's OK to David. "Well, that's my name, so..." says the Oggmonster. "No it's not. What's your real name?" says David. "Nathan." "It's a good name," says David and looks at the camera. "Is it?" says Oggy almost in tears. "I'll call you Nathan," says David in a soft voice. "I didn't call you fatty, so..." says Oggy/Nathan, bursts into tears and walks away quickly. "What's the matter with him?!" says David indignantly, as if he was being wronged here. Yeah, you can really take a joke, Bluto. Dawn, Gareth and even Jimmy the Perv look awkward. Jimmy's fingering his stetoscope like David often touches his tie (he's not doing it now though). Tim stares with his mouth open, then looks at the camera. Ahh, the awkwardness. I'm loving it.
Life goes on as usual, even if it is red nose day, and everyone looks pretty bored. After the few seconds of work, we see Tim walking around with a sponsorship form. He says he's decided "to enter into the spirit a bit more" - by "hiding Gareth's belongings", as he explains to a laughing Oliver. Anonymous Swinnie Male offers him "two quid for the lot". I haven't noticed this before, but now I wonder if he isn't getting back at Gareth for letting his mates humiliate Dawn like that. If so, this is a very nice way of making Gareth pay. And scene. We'll see more of that later.
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