Season 2, Episode 6, Part 2: "Inside Paper"

Dawn works boredly at his desk as David walks in with a young woman carrying a briefcase. "Here we are," he says. "The madhouse." She chuckles politely. David's "we're MAD" show with every visitor is the equivalent of Gareth's mad mates and their wacky adventures, broadcast to you on speakerphone. David says hi to Dawn, meaning "Look who I've got here, and guess why." The woman gives her a friendly, natural "Hi." Nice contrast. As they walk past Tim's desk, David says, "Alright Tim?" Tim, who's been deep in his thoughts, stirs and says an awkward hi. "Oh her?" says David, even if Tim didn't ask him anything. "She's writing an article on me in Inside Paper." He shows an issue that's peeking out of the suitcase. The woman looks uncomfortable as David calls out to Ben, who's on the other side of the room and not looking at him - that's the name of the anonymous employee? Wow. I had totally forgotten that. Maybe I'll go back and correct his name as Ben in all recaps. Maybe not. Speaking of which, since it's mentioned later on in the episode that the journalist is called Helena, I will refer to her as Helena right away, otherwise it gets awkward. "Well, I'll tell you all," he says quite loud. "If you're wondering who this stranger is" - and he points his finger at the head of an increasingly awkward-looking Helena, saying, "she's writing an article on me in Inside Paper." The older Swinnie employee walks in, and David, says, "Where have you been?" "Where else," mutters the employee without slowing down or looking back. I guess he means in the restroom? Love how he doesn't take David's bullshit. David tells him the same thing he told the others a moment earlier, but as he clearly isn't listening, he stops at "Ins..." "Subject matter," he says instead and points at himself, grinning. I loved that, such a David thing to say. He acts like Helena flew in from Paris just to interview him, and I bet in reality he called Inside Paper and persuaded them to do an article on him as he's leaving Wernham Hogg.

The interview. "Right, what do you wanna know?" says David as they sit down. Reminiscent of what he said in the second episode, showing his room to Donna. "Do you mind if I talk to some of your staff later?" Helena asks him. "Why?" David says suspiciously. Hee! She says that her train won't leave until the afternoon, so she has a little time. "Well, I wanna see what they say... before...," David says. This cracks me up, because he seems to realize it might not all be flattering. "I'm not gonna put anything nasty in it," says Helena. "They won't say anything nasty," David hastens to answer. Right, that's why you look so worried. They start the interview, and the first question is: "Would you like to tell me about your individual outlook on management?" Sounds a lot like business jargon to me. David, leaning back in his chair and lifting his feet on the desk, tells her, "Sure. Put, 'David Brent is refreshingly laid back for a man with such responsibility.'" Hee! He's written the whole article in his head, and she only needs to write it down. Ungratefully, she tells him to answer in his own words so she can work it out later. "Right. 'Brent mused and then replied...'" David starts, but Helena cuts him off again. She's kind all through, but she's no push-over. She promises to "get it down" when he just speaks freely. "Well, are you getting it down?" asks David. "Cos you're not doing shorthand, and I'm going to be pretty..." He shows a "babble" move with his hand and snaps his fingers quickly. Helena stares at him like he's the biggest douche she's ever met. "Just...," she says, unable to finish the sentence. "Well, your question, I suppose, was, 'Is it difficult to remain authoritative and yet so popular'?" "No," says Helena. Hee! "Shall I answer that one first?" asks David. Why should he answer a question she never asked? "Sorry, can we just stick to my questions?" says Helena, her smile faded. "Well, maybe you should be clear what the question is, cos I'm getting a little bit... you know." David says. Duh! "individual outlook on management" totally means "authoritative yet popular". It's, like, synonymous. How could he know what she meant? David is the kind of guy who abuses people's politeness to further his own means. If you're not very persistent and confident in the way you deal him, he will lead the conversation totally astray. Helena, knowing she can't be professional and punch him in the face, just says, "OK," looking down, clearly angry.

Dawn is standing by Tim's desk, laughing out loud at something Tim is saying. "That's what he said!" Tim says, happy that his story is going over so well. "But that's... just... offensive!" laughs Dawn. Are they talking about David? Rachel walks in and says, "What's so funny?" She's smiling, but what she means is, "Get your hands off my man, bitch." She starts to talk about some completely irrelevant issue, pretending not to remember the name of the pub they went to last Friday. Gareth gets a call and it's on speaker phone. And what do you know, it's Anne, who's obviously his girlfriend. Gareth has a girlfriend?! Actually, there were some brilliant deleted scenes about Gareth having two girlfriends at the same time, and I'll be recapping them later. Gareth sounds stilted while talking to her, knowing three people are listening in. He says he's going out with the lads. Anne asks him to come by before that. Gareth says, "Yeah, OK," sounding like he totally doesn't care about her, but of course it's just his embarrassment. Why use speakerphone? It makes no sense unless the person on the phone is talking to everyone in the room. And they rarely are. "Are you going to bring the toys again?" says Anne, and at this point Gareth grabs the phone and stiltedly tells her he'll be there. "Yeah, look forward too," he says. Tim's face looks attentive and pondersome. This is his revenge to Oggy Oggy Oggy, oink oink oink!

As soon as he's off the phone, Tim says, "Toys?" "Shut up," says Gareth tightly and resumes working. "What are the toys? Is it Buckaroo? Not Boggle, is it? If it's KerPlunk, I'm coming too!" Dawn is leaning on the desk, giggling at Tim's jokes. Her position kind of makes her seem like his girlfriend, which is probably what she wants to do with it, at least subconsciously. Tim's quite a good teaser - works for annoying Gareth and wooing the ladies. "That was actually a private phone call," says Gareth. "So don't put it on speakerphone, Gareth," says Tim. Good point. He turns to Rachel to say what the name of the pub was, but then turns back to Gareth: "Is it Hungry Hippos?" Rachel and Dawn are laughing out loud now. And if I knew more about those games, I'd know if there's a sexual reference to the choice of the names. They sound funny though.

Back to the interview with Inside Paper. "Private life, then, just to flesh out David Brent a little," says Helena. David makes an "Ooh noo" face grin. "Is there a better half?" asks Helena. "David quipped, 'Why buy a book when you can join the library?'" says David. Ugh, one of those trademark sexist jokes. As if you buy women when you marry them. Helena smiles, quite graciously considering earlier. "So you play the field?" she says. David adjusts his tie and says, "Well, I'm not like using chicks and shit, but I'm just chilling while I'm young, I suppose. So..." Note the lingo - "chick", "chill", because he's young and hip! Helena asks if he has a chick now. "Ooh, I don't kiss and tell," says David, points at her and winks as if this was very clever. "I'm just trying to find out if you're in a relationship at the moment," says Helena, who's still polite but seems irritated at David's inability to give straight answers. "Brent says no comment," David says with his mouth twisted and in a funny voice. He grins at the camera like he's so funny. "So you don't have a girlfriend?" says Helena. David tries to belittle the term 'girlfriend' by asking what it means. He does quotation marks with his hands when he says "girlfriend". "Someone you'd have sex with," suggests Helena. Um, that's not how I'd define it. I'd say someone you love and feel a connection with. "Oy, don't get coarse in a magazine for the public," David says. I'm not sure if he's really such a prude, or if he just feels embarrassed about how long he's gone without sex. "I don't think you win a Pulitzer with filth." He looks around like he's said something very wise. It's something in his eyebrows that he lifts as if to say "Are you getting this? I'm imparting my wisdom!" The word sex is, of course, filthy, and no civilized person should ever use it. Yet when Finchy talks about gross sexual details, that's OK for him. Helena looks down and writes something as David points at her and looks away from the camera. What an idiot.

The office. People are working, their shoulders hunched in the work - or is it because of the misery of David Brent leaving?! We'll never know. Gareth shows the camera a stupid present he's gotten for Gobbler. It's a "Dirty Bertie" toy - a gross horndog-type man who, when you clap your hands, says, "Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Come on come on baby! Come on come on baby!" "Watch," says Gareth, excited, and the camera zooms on the little man's pants, where a stick comes up and shakes to the sound of a classical tune I can't seem to place, playing in cheap-sounding synth music. Gareth is chuckling at this display of poor taste. "Oh...oh... oh..o-oh No-ooo..." the man shouts, and the "penis" is flattened. May I add that the man speaking the voice sounds like he's about to burst into laughter. Worst. Present. Ever. Gareth now shows it to Tim, as if he didn't hear it before. Tim lets out a longg sigh. Gareth points at the penis again, "Watch!" and Tim lazily turns his eyes to the man's penis. "He comes in his pants," Gareth narrates, in case no one got that. Tim's eyes widen with either disgust or amazement at how stupid Gareth can be. Gareth promptly claps his hands again to see the show one more time, and Tim throws his pencil away so that it flies high, and walks away. That was a very effective scene done mostly with Martin Freeman's facial expressions. Good job, Martin.

Timterview. He says he's not stressing himself, "Thirty is young nowadays. I'm not somebody who'll have specific goals, you know, having done this or that by my age." I don't think that's a helpful way to think anyway. However, I think Tim is just justifying his need to take the safe route instead of risking everything to do something he really likes, and his next comment proves it. "If you look at life like rolling a dice, then my situation is.. may only be a three." He continues that if he rolled the dice, "I could roll a six, no problem, I could easily roll a six. I could also roll a one. So, I think it's best to just leave the dice alone." It really shows how he thinks, the situation many 30-year-olds find themselves in: young enough to change their lives and get it in a new direction...but also scared. Start your own business - what if you go bankrupt? Go back to college - what if you fail and then you have no job to lean on. In Tim's case, however, it seems to have settled in a lot earlier since he's been living at his parents' house for how long now? I think his failure to complete his studies has left him in an apathetic situation where he, worried about future failures, decides to stop trying and just have the best life he can have at Wernham Hogg. Which isn't very good, but it's stable and the same year after year, which he hates, but perhaps also feels a secret satisfaction with. They say most people would take a dull life over an exciting but tragic one.