I apologize for the delay with this post, but I had a very busy April and rushed recaps are no fun for anyone. I should have more time for this blog again now, so you can expect updates in the normal pace.
How much do I love the chapter names? They often seem very ironic. David is, of course, anything but the best, and the Tina song is easily the worst part of the speech (though perhaps the best part laughter-wise).
And speaking of laughing, David goes on: "Are you familiar with the term 'Laughter is the best medicine'?" He looks at the audience. A woman in the front row shakes her head. Hee! She hasn't heard that before? I think she's just trying to humor him. "Well, it's true," says David. "When you laugh, your brain releases endorphins, yeah? Your stress hormones are reduced and the oxygen supply to your blood is increased, so..." Wow. Someone Googled the topic right before the speech. "I try to laugh several times a day just because... it makes you feel good!" claims David. He's so fun and spontaneous - yet healthy! That's why we see him laughing so much at the office. I'm not even sure if we've ever seen him laugh in a completely relaxed way. He's always giggling at his own jokes and it always ends up so awkward. Or he's laughing at Finchy's filthy jokes even if it looks like he doesn't get them.
David now tries to engage the audience in a laughing session. "Let's try that, eh? Ohohoo... Hahaha... Just, just... Hahahaha... Come on, trust me.. you'll feel.. HahaHAhaha! O-o-o-o-a-hahahahaa..." Seriously, it's so bad. He sounds like a monkey gone insane. Needless to say, no one else is laughing, and he looks more and more awkward, which makes him laugh harder and harder. He beats his thighs and bends over laughing and his face is very red. What was he thinking? Well, he probably didn't plan this ahead of time, but suggesting a task like this to an audience in such a small setting is about the dumbest engaging activity you can have. They're not going to humiliate themselves by laughing like monkeys in front of everyone in the office. I'd almost say he should have done the "sticks and stones" thing, even if that was by far not a constructive task, and he probably would have gotten mad. Ray and Jude look confused and shocked like they're not sure if this is part of his plan or if he just went insane on the spot. He starts to sound quite out of breath, but the laughter has taken him hostage, even if he started with a fake laugh.That always happens when you start fake-laughing. Try it sometime. This goes on for quite a while, it's just one of those brilliant awkward scenes in The Office.
Dawn looks at David with pity. She doesn't look quite as shocked as Ray and Jude, though, because she sees so much of him at the office. We cut to a Dawnterview where she says, "I'd.. be lying if I said my life had turned out exactly as I'd expected." Hee! I love this quote paired with the image of Dawn staring at David, forced to see him make a fool of himself on her free time. Dawn tells us a story that most grown ups can recognize: her school had a reunion - she didn't go, and she doesn't say why, but she probably doesn't want to tell everyone about her job as a receptionist and her Neanderthal boyfriend she's been seeing since she was a teenager - "but one girl in my class, it turns out, now runs her own Internet auction website, making a fortune, and is happily married to a marine biolgoist. She used to eat chalk!" Dawn seems shocked that a girl who used to eat chalk can now be successful. I've noticed that popularity in school really has very little to do with how your life turns out to be. If anything, the more popular you are, the less successful you will be in life. Of course, she might be lying about her success too - marine biologist is, after all, what George Costanza claimed to be.
Back to the speech, where a deflated and flushed David gives up on the audience, luckily not as openly disappointed as in the first day speech. He still tries to sound playful: "Well, that's about it for yours truly... Thanks for taking all I had to... throw at you. I'm spent. But I am now going to make like a banana... and split." He giggles; no one laughs. He points at one guy in the front row and says, "He got it." Um, I think they all got it... which is why they didn't laugh. He puts the sad backwards cap back on. So it's not so much his speech cap as it is his... beginning-and-end cap? "OK, before I go though, promise me you'll remember one thing. Yeah? Just remember..." and he turns on the boombox that starts playing Tina Turner's Simply the Best from the chorus: "...You're the best! Better than all the rest! Better than anyone! Anyone I've ever met!" Oh my god. David now runs back to the center of the room and starts clapping his hands over his head to the music. With his backwards cap on. He's really acting like he's in a rock concert. "Listen to her, listen to her!" he yells excitedly. The camera shows the audience, who look bored and awkward, like they don't know how to respond to this. A bearded man in a cap - not backwards! - gives the camera an annoyed look. The upbeat song and David's mood are in stark contrast with the bored-out-of-their-minds audience. Did he really think the audience would get motivated just from hearing this song? In one way I feel sorry for him, but in another way... Heee. He's right tho - he's unorthodox, doesn't play by "the rules".
So, David's Motivational Technique Tips, as heard in his speech!
1. Think that at least you've got your health.
2. Think that at least you have your arms and legs.
3. Think that at least you're not dead.
4. Laugh maniacally.
5. Listen to Tina Turner.
They may sound unrelated to the casual reader, but really, there's an intricate connection between all these things, and that connection is "stuff that popped into David's head during the speech". Wow. I'm feeling pretty motivated right now.
"I've been David Brent! You've been the best! See you later!" David shouts over the music and then jogs away from the room, leaving the music blaring. The other speakers and the audience look after him, confused. The best way to end a speech, leaving the audience wondering what the fuck that was about and whether this can be the ending. Ray rubs his temple in a great naturalistic disappointed gesture. The actor manages to make it look pretty unconscious. He and Jude assume the same look, one of resignation. Their mouths straighten to a sideways I, implying that they realize this is all they're going to get and they settle for it. Jude gets up and shuts down the music. Which, by the way, was way too loud, perhaps to create an excited concert mood. "Yes, um, our thanks to David -" starts Jude, but David comes back to the door and demands: "Who stopped it?" Jude stutters that she did. "No, don't stop it, leave it going right til the end, til I get..." ..where? To the end of the hallway or back to the door? If he was going to pull a stunt like this, he should have let Jude and Ray know in advance instead of demanding them to understand his every whim on the spot. "Don't do that again next time, OK?" he says, and again, not the best way of dealing with this. He doesn't seem to realize that they can fire him from the task if he acts like an idiot, and he can't just talk to Jude like that. He's not being all that loud or anything, but he is kind of embarrassing her in front of the audience.
David lifts his hand in a salute to the audience, a bit too long as if he's waiting for some kind of response and not getting it. Are they supposed to wave back? Then he jogs out, even if the other three speakers are still sitting there in the room. OK, he was the last speaker, but he might have wanted to act a bit less like the big shot star. It's kinda amusing how he thinks they will all instantly know him to be the main attraction. Sometimes going on last doesn't mean you're the star, David. And did I mention how ridiculously old he looks in that outfit that he's wearing so he'd look like a young boy? Jude apologizes. She seems shy and insecure. "David Brent, Wernham Hogg," she tells the audience, who clap as little as they possibly can while still remaining polite. One particular guy only claps twice, and slowly at that. Mark Frown looks after David in disbelief and puffs up his cheeks in a "whew" gesture. You better believe it, Mark - that was pure David Brent. Jude proceeds to give out brochures to the participants. A fat guy in the front row doesn't seem to want one, or else doesn't notice it since he's looking at the camera with a blank stare. Maybe he's still too... motivated from David's performance to focus on such a mundane detail. His look at the camera is a bit Keith-like.
"Backstage", David is energetic and cheerful. He tells the camera he'll tell us a secret: "Before I went out there, I was a little unsure if I still had it." He giggles. Wow, talk about low self esteem. He was unsure if he has it? David, let me assure you, you haven't lost your ability to make a complete fool of yourself. Of course, he uses the imaginary opinion of the public as his witness: "I'll let you be the judge of that, you know what I mean!" he says and high fives Dawn with so much force that she cries, "Ow!" I love how throughout this speech, before and after, David's using Dawn as a prop. It really shows how highly he thinks of her. Need someone to dump your heavy boombox on? Dawn's there, use her. Need someone to throw your childish cap at? Try Dawn! Want to high five someone? Can't high five the camera crew, do it to Dawn instead! He just expects her to be in awe of his skills and be ready to wipe his boots any minute. Which is probably how many employers think of receptionists. Dawn looks at him with disgust.
David then proceeds to take his shirt off (!) and expose his gut. What does he do with the shirt? Throws it at Dawn, of course. Sweatty old shirt? Throw it at Dawn! Ray comes in, professional with his suit and tie, while David's standing there shirtless and doesn't seem embarrassed at all. "Here he is!" David says gleefully. "Tina a bit too much for you?" Ray smiles awkwardly and adjusts his tie. David's rubbing off on him already! "That's your job. Hold me back, cos when I'm out there I'm booom and it's like vrrrr... So... it's your job I'm afraid." Wow. Basically he's telling Ray, who hired him for this job, to watch out because he's a loose cannon and won't even try to control his actions on stage. That's the dumbest thing you can ever tell an employer or manager of any kind, because you're basically denying any responsibility for your own actions. How is Ray going to control him on stage, anyway? Is he going to smack David's face and make him normal again?
David throws around his arms, making Dawn step away so he doesn't hit her again. He seems to be all too full of energy right now, like he's on sugar high or something. Maybe he should have had some calming weed before the speech. Dawn tries hard not to look at his gut, but then David puts on spray deodorant, and guess who he sprays it at? Poor Dawn coughs indignantly, but David doesn't even notice. "Tell you what though - they seemed to go for it, didn't they?" says David to Ray. Which audience was he looking at? He must be delusional. They were bored out of their skulls. The earring is still incredibly funny, even if I've seen it throughout the episode. It just serves to mock everything he says and does. Awesome.
"Knock knock," says Jude and walks in. David immediately sucks his gut in fiercely, like he wants to appear handsome in the company of an attractive woman. Note that he doesn't mind Dawn seeing him the way he is, perhaps because she's below his status and therefore automatically attracted to him, no matter what. "Well done," lies Jude with a fake smile. She seems a bit out of breath saying it, like she's trying too hard to appear honest. "What'd you think?" asks David. "Well, my taste's a bit more traditional," Jude says carefully. "Bit too rock'n'roll for you?" asks David. "Possibly," says Jude. "Each his own, each his own," says David. He doesn't say "or her", even if the person he's talking to is a woman, and even if this is probably small potatoes to David, Jude might well be picking up on it as well as his jerky attitude on Dawn. I sure would in her position. David changes to a blue shirt that looks infinitely better on him than the hideous white one, and isn't tucked into his jeans so it doesn't make him look as fat. Why didn't he wear this to the speech? Because he wanted to look like a 12-year-old boy, I guess. He's just so unaware of how he looks to others, and his next comment shows that as well.
"Better warn you now, that was me on a seven. So wait til you see me on a nine or ten, innit!" he says and laughs childishly. So both of the people who hired you basically admitted they didn't like what they saw and you're smirking because you're so outside the box? He manages to sound like he knew they wouldn't like it, because he was going for the average Joe, not these professional consultants. So basically he's saying he knows better than Ray and Jude what appeals to the public, and he's going to act out of control again and they're just gonna have to suck it up cos he can't help himself. Stupid, stupid David. He could have done this well if he didn't have the constant need to impress and be a star. This task didn't require intellect or any real motivational abilities. All he needed to do was spew jargon in a suit and tie like everybody else. But, coming to think of it, that's not what he does in the office either. He wants to be the entertainer, the star.
"Here's your check," says Ray in a little voice that suggests he's holding back what he really thinks. "Thanking you," says David, still chuckling annoyingly. "More importantly though, what pub we going to?" he says with a stupid facial expression and head tilt. Then he chuckles some more. Jude gives Ray a look that says "Rescue me from this madman!" Ray looks just as uncomfortable as she does. "More important than this, 300 quid? I don't think so!" laughs David. Great example of bad jokes in the everyday life. People who don't get laughs always explain their own jokes and/or go too far, which makes it more awkward. "Where are we going?" he asks, apparently seriously. Why does he assume Ray and Jude are going to go out to eat and drink with him? It's not a date, it's just a business speech thing. They're not obligated to give him something to do for the evening. It's a good example of how David always confuses work with personal life and expects his coworkers or employees to be his friends.
Ray says carefully that they can't, they were just going to get something to eat. David, who's punching the air again with childish sound effects, only hears the last part. "Pizza?" he says. Somehow I don't see Ray and Jude as pizza eaters. It seems characteristic for David though. "Nevermind Pizza Express, what about Beer Express first? Next stop - drunkenness! Woo!" He chuckles with his teeth clenched, looking like a fool, and Ray and Jude must be wondering what this already hyper guy is like drunk. David says it can be anything they want - "Chinese, Indian..." Very varied there. "As long as it's... on me," he says and chuckles again, showing the check. He's crumpling it a bit in his hands. I'd take better care of a check than that. Jude laughs a bit forcedly. David puts the lame cap back on. It says "Go Guild!" That must be a reference to something, but I found such weird results on Google that I'm not really sure what to make of it in this context. I'm sure it's not an internet gamer society. Well, sometimes a lame cap is just a lame cap, I guess. "Here we go, the Three Musketeers!" David says and walks out the door without so much as glancing back at Dawn. "Bye," says Jude to Dawn kindly, but without worry what's going to happen to her. As they walk out, Dawn looks around. Does she have a ride back? Does she know what to do with David's stuff? Did she get any kind of thank you from him? I somehow suspect the answer to all these questions is no.
As Dawn starts putting David's things together, we hear Jude say, "I just remembered I can't..." David asks what she means, and she fumbles an obvious excuse: "There's something I have to do." Dawn looks at the camera knowingly. David, of course, doesn't catch the implication and says cheerfully, "Uh oh! Just us two then! What sort of clubs around here?" He's gonna spend the night with Ray too now? "I'm not going to a club," says Ray. "You bloody are! Wohohohohohoo!!" says David. Is he going to make Ray go? I wonder how the episode would have continued if they had showed Ray and David going to a pub together, Ray trying to get out of it all through the evening, and being forced to stay on as David drunkenly babbles and giggles his way through the night. I hope he likes Des'ree songs sung off key.
In the mini-segment after the credits, we see Dawn take her coat on her arm and leave the room, the boombox hanging on her shoulder. She hasn't tucked it into the bag this time, and the cord is hanging loose. It seems like a pretty difficult way of carrying that thing, and maybe it's just her resignation that this lame evening is going to end with calling Lee to pick her up from wherever she is, and carrying David's sweatty shirt with her to their apartment. Where else is she going to take it? The office would be closed by now. David really didn't think ahead. This was a great episode for both David and Dawn and made good use of both Ricky Gervais and Lucy Davis. One of the best episodes ever in my opinion. Bravo!
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