Season 2, Episode 6, Part 1: "My Work Here is Done"

This is it. The last episode. I feel sad and nostalgic already. But worry not, I will still recap the specials too. And why not the documentaries, while I'm at it.

We open on another boring, mundane office day. David gives the male Swinnie employee his card, and looks at the camera smiling. Everything's a show with him. The employee, who's on the phone, doesn't really pay a lot of attention to him, and David pats him in the back and leaves. It's kinda sad - I don't think he got a going-away party or a gift or a card or anything, just people ignoring him. He gives cards to everyone, and people look like they couldn't care less. The problem with David is that he believes workplace relationships should last forever, even if you quit the job or are fired; so your employees should still hang out with you even after you leave. which they won't, by any logic, because they don't even like him. David probably thinks he gave his all to this job, though, and that people are just turning their backs on him. When in reality they never liked him in the first place. I feel really sorry for him in this episode.

David interview. With his trademark slow style, he starts :"I ...don't.. .look upon this like it's 'the end'. I look upon this like it's moving on. It's almost like my work here is done, you know. I can't imagine... Jesus" - a little look at the camera guy and interviewer to let the heavy name sink in, because any mention of Jesus is by definition profound - going, "Oh, I've told a few people here in Bethlehem I'm the Son of God, can I just stay in with Mom and Dad now?" No. You gotta move on, you've gotta spread the word, you've gotta go to Nazareth, please. And that's... very much like... me..." Um, how exactly? He twists his mouth while saying that, making it seem like he totally doesn't know what he's saying, and he probably doesn't. And this whole idea of Jesus vs David? Bwah! Especially since Jesus was only born in Bethlehem and grew up in Nazareth, which I think the wirters assume everyone to know. Well, everyone except David Brent. What we learn from this: if you're going to compare yourself to Jesus, at least get the facts of his life right, because you're already making a fool of yourself.

And then comes a brilliant account of all the things he can do: "My world does not end within these four walls." He spreads his arms and shows the distance between his index fingers. "Slough is a big place, and you know, and when I'm finished with Slough, I've got Reading, Aldershot, Bracknell, you know, Didcot, Yately. My... Winnersh, Taplow. You know. Because I am my own boss. I can... Berefield. You know, I can wake up and go, 'Oh, I don't feel like working today, can I just stay in bed? Oh no, better ask your boss. David, can I stay in bed all day?' 'Yes you can, David.' -Both me, that's not me in bed with another bloke called David." That is just priceless, because
1. He doesn't even think that he could go beyond small English towns in the vicinity;
2. He keeps interrupting because he thought of another redundant example, like a child might do;
3. He didn't really have to explain he's both Davids, but if there's any slightest possibility that others might think he's gay, he has to step in and stop them from thinking that;
4. Note that he doesn't say what he's going to do exactly, because he totally doesn't know.
Gotta love David Brent. I'll really miss these interviews.

David now goes to Jamie, who's sitting at his desk. He squats down a bit, coming down to the employee's level. He asks him, talking as if to a child, if it's going to be weird when he's gone. "Different," says Jamie to say something. "Sadder," adds David. I don't think that's what Jamie meant, but it's really easy with David because you don't have to say anything, he'll tell you what you're thinking and meaning. David tells him dumbly that he doesn't have to think, "That's it, there's no point, I'm walking around with my shoulders hunched..." Hee! Like anyone would say something like that. Especially just because David left. The phone rings and Jamie asks to take it. David is left in a squatting position and he makes an awkward face at the camera. We all know the feeling of hanging around when someone else takes a call, and it makes you feel unimportant even if you're not. In this particular case, though, it's kind of true. There's good news on the phone and Jamie says it's a load off his mind. When he gets off the phone, he turns back to David who has trouble getting started again, seeing how litle Jamie really cares. Before he can say much, Jamie calls to Oliver off-camera that "they took the lot, mate". I love how he doesn't have to specify who took the lot exactly, and what the lot means in this case. Then he turns back to David, but can't contain himself and has to call Steve, whom he tells the exact same thing - "They took the lot, mate." David gets the hint, says Jamie is busy, and leaves his card. I thought this scene was a tad obvious as a joke, and I can't put my finger on why. Jamie simply nods as David holds the card up to his face. As David turns to go, his face looks very tired and very old. Awww, poor lonely David.

But he immediately finds another victim. He chuckles at the camera for no reason at all and says, "Oh - here he is! The big man!" Keith is copying or printing something and is standing by the printer. He's a head taller than David. Why does David always have to talk about his size? Does he feel intimidated by Keith's height or does he feel superior that Keith is fatter than him? Keith totally doesn't see David, who's coming from behind, and as David takes his card from his pocket, Keith leans back and bumps him with his butt, or steps on his toe, as David goes, "Ow!" and walks away saying, "Clumsy" with the same voice he said "Big man". Nice going, David. Try talking to him first the next time, to get his attention. Keith's a bit absent-minded. He obviously still can't see David as he attends to the copier or printer, oblivious of the world around him. As he would. David looks at his card like Keith isn't worthy of it. He walks up to someone else to give it.

Boring office working montage. Oliver has his pipes screensaver still on. Does he ever use his computer?

Dawn is leaning on her desk, looking dreadfully bored, but then the camera zooms on Tim and we know she's only pining for him. I'm reminded of the long Dawn/Tim scenes in this episode and the Christmas special. Tim is sitting at his computer pressing his lips together, seeming tense. Rachel walks in. This time her shirt isn't as short as usual, but it still looks a little tight. She sits on Tim's desk - chairs are for sitting on! - and tells him rather insecurely that his parents have this cottage in New Forest and they invited her and Tim to a party there. "I can't," Tim says immediately, making it obvious he doesn't want to. "When is it?" he adds, remembering that that's the polite way of blowing someone off. First ask when, then say you can't that particular day, but oh how you'd like to! Rachel says it's a few weeks ahead, on a weekend, but Tim says, "That's a problem." He comes off really rude, and Rachel is offended. "I kinda told them that we'd.. that we'd go," she says. "You told them? I wish you'd asked me," says Tim and gives a joyless little chuckle that's meant to signal, "I'm not mad," even if he is. They look at each other. Tim lifts his eyebrows. Awkward silence. And - scene. Nice.

Photocopier spewing identical-looking white papers. Tim and Gareth's desk. Gareth picks up his phone and it's "Oooooggy Oggy Oggy!!" Gareth glances at a tired-looking Tim but goes, "Oink oink oink!" like this is the high point of his day. And it probably is. "Alright, Oggy? Keeno here, on speaker phone!" Keeno?! Hee. That's like the lamest nickname ever. Well, ok, Count Fuckula on Extras was worse. At least there's some kind of quiet, well ok, loud dignity to the Oggmonster. Gareth, once again, glances around like he thinks he and his mates are the maddest, funniest guys around, and everyone should laugh just hearing it. It reminds me of this Fry&Laurie skit where a young guy tells the camera, "I have these mad mates... We're just mad! Like last week we went to the movies.. Mad!!" Oggy gets excited that he's on speaker phone, and his mind goes to a very juvenile place (if it ever left it in the first place): "Tits!!" Gareth pretends to be scandalized by this public reveal, but is actually really amused and giggles like a little boy, like he does every time. He calls Oggy a "mentalist" - hee, I love that British word - and asks what he wants. Oggy informs him that "Gobbler" - the same name they used on Extras for the fat guy in the sitcom! - is having a birthday party at Chaser's (where else?) and he asks if Gareth's coming. Gareth acts like he wouldn't miss it for the world. He asks who else is coming - Jimmy the Perv, Fish Fingers? Oggy tells him, "Fish Fingers can't come cause Susan caught him get off with What's-Her-Face..." One of the guys has a girlfriend? A bit surprising, that. Not that he'd cheat on her but that he'd have one. Gareth looks excited that one of his mad mates is proven to be a bad boy, because that makes them MAD! "That's mental," he says, happy that Tim's hearing all this. Oggy says something that sounds like "Donuts!" to me, and I guess he means Donuts, as in, nudge nudge wink wink, get it?! And Gareth laughs and calls him a mentalist, and hangs up. He seems refreshed from the phonecall. Tim looks like it had the opposite effect on him. "Did you hear that?" Gareth asks him. "That was the Oggmonster." Tim wipes his face with his hands, looking really tired. I think having crazy, mental friends calls on speaker phone ranks as one of the top 5 most annoying office behaviours.