Christmas Special, part 1: "Stitch-Up"

For the only time in the history of the show, we begin with a black screen with text on it:
"In January 2001 a BBC documentary crew filmed the everyday goings on in a typical workplace. Now, nearly three years later, we return to find out what has happened to the employees of..
the office."

I feel weird about the Christmas specials. I don't think they're bad, per se. I don't think they're vastly inferior to the average episode of The Office. I just think they go through the fourth wall so much that it becomes a little more difficult to buy. Because the series itself was about people working and having their everyday lives on camera, knowing the cameras were there. And this is people talking about their lives on camera, knowing the cameras are here, and other people having seen the show... It just opens up a whole new can of worms. Also, way too much Tim and Dawn. But there's a lot of hilarity, particularly from David Brent, and I think they did a pretty good job covering how the office would look in three years time. Which is pretty much the same.

The first thing we see is David driving in his car, one hand on the wheel and another on his forehead, the elbow resting on the window sill in what I'm sure is a rehearsed move that he believes makes him look very serious and professional. As he drives, he keeps putting his right hand on the wheel and then back onto his forehead. It seems so rehearsed.He's looking ahead sternly, because he's The Man, if not The Boss anymore. He voice-overs: "Stitch-up. It was a stitch-up." He claims the BBC mostly filmed "a good bloke doing a good job", and then they showed all the bad stuff, "like one time I accidentally head-butted an interviewee, that makes it to the program." And that's because "you head-butt a girl on the telly and you're labeled a prat." Right, and it's not at all because of the way you "interviewed" Karen, or the way you went home to get your guitar during a training day, or the way you sold out your employees for a promotion? I'm sure that was all editing and there was a context we didn't see. Like Rowan begged you to go get that guitar. And how dare they not show the part where Karen flirted with you voraciously!

He claims the BBC looked at the material and had the following conversation:
"Oh look, here's a good guy, he's their friend as well as their boss, he's a motivator, an entertainer, lots of good stuff. Look, he's made one mistake, shall we cut that out?"
"No."
"What?!"
"No, put that bit IN, cut the other stuff out. We want a scapegoat, we want a dumb-dam(?), we wanna give them the biggest plonker of the year."
Yes, I'm sure it's exactly like that. It's like, the well-meaning editor just wants to make David look good, while the BBC execs or whoever have decided that they're going to make the ultimate scapegoat out of him. And this is the defense of just about every reality show contestant who becomes the "bad guy" or "bitch" of the show. It was just edited that way, we didn't see this and that context, etc. They'll come into the forums and inform us that really, if we had been there, we'd know. I think it depends on the show how true that statement is. In David's case, of course, we know that the camera captured his essence: a sad man who craves attention and acceptance from others; selfish, sexist and utterly uintelligent. There's not much he can do about it, but he wouldn't be David if he didn't claim it's all a big conspiracy against him.

He says sternly, "I'm not a plonker!" and looks indignantly at the interviewer, then at the camera. This, too, seems rehearsed. Also - hee, "plonker". That's pretty much the funniest word you could use for this. And the credits, which I think they could have left out. Half of the scenes in the special don't happen inside the office, and in my opinion, a two-part special doesn't need a theme song. It just seems out of place here.

We return to the office to find it - pretty much exactly the same. All the same employees, it seems. Interestingly, though, Rachel doesn't seem to be there. Maybe she wanted to leave after the Tim incident? Brenda has gotten new glasses and hairdo. Sheila has cut her hair. Keith has put on some weight. Then we see Tim, who's both cut his hair and put on weight. He looks older and more tired than last time. He's now spent three more years at Wernham Hogg, in the same position, at the same table as before. It's kinda sad. At least he doesn't have to sit with Gareth anymore.

Of course, he still has to have Gareth as his boss. He walks into Gareth's office - so weird to write that! - where Gareth is busy at work staring at his computer. Gareth makes this hand movement that I've always taken to be "taking gum out of mouth" movements but I can't see the gum this time around, so maybe I'm wrong. Tim says he's leaving early, and Gareth checks in his book to see if he said it was OK. Tim leaves the office - with Gareth's keys. "Are these the keys to your room" he says just as he's at the door, and he slams it shut and locks Gareth in while Gareth taps on the window and shouts: "Oliver! He's locked me in again!" Hee, "again". So even as a boss, Gareth isn't immune to Tim's pranks. Nor has he found a more effective way of dealing with them.

Tim sits down at his desk looking contented. Gareth calls him and Tim puts him on speaker phone.
Gareth: "Unlock it now, it's not funny. What if there was a fire?"
Tim: "Sorry, who is this?"
Gareth: "Who do you think it is, Father Christmas? Open the door."
Tim: "Don't believe in you." *hangs up*
Absolutely loved that. Even as boss, Gareth has no authority over Tim, and Tim has to show it in the most immature possible way. However, something has changed - no more Dawn behind the receptionist's desk. Gareth calls Melanie the new receptionist, and Tim tells her not to pick up. She awkwardly asks for the keys, and Tim tries to say that it's funny and let him be for a while, but Mel shyly yet firmly takes the keys and lets Gareth out. Tim looks old, tired, and sad. Aww, poor Tim. No one to have fun with. You'd think some of the guys in the office have it in for Gareth and could join in the pranks.